other times.
The drills went on for another full, sweaty, awkward hour, then we took a five-minute
break before switching to self-defense basics.
What if a patient grabbed your clothes? Your hair? Your arms, legs, throat, waist,
or tried to gouge your eyes? We learned tricks for all these terrifying scenarios,
then got teamed with a fellow trainee or trainer to do some improvisational drills,
with Audra patrolling, correcting people’s form. To my equal pleasure and annoyance,
I got paired with Kelly. If I wasn’t mistaken . . . had he picked me? We’d been standing
fairly close together, but I felt pretty sure he’d chosen me. It’d be just like him
to lay claims. And it’d be very
un
like me to take such perverse enjoyment from it.
I eyed him as we faced off. “Who’s attacking?”
“We’ll trade. You start.”
“Fine.” I was tired and stinky, and so far the course had left me more overwhelmed
than empowered. I circled Kelly and looped my arm around his neck. Again, I felt way
more like a dangling kitten than an assailant.
“You’ll never take me alive,” I told him, exhaustion making me punchy.
He nearly laughed, a huff with a smile behind it, though I couldn’t see his face.
“You make a lovely psychopath.”
I squeezed his neck a bit harder, and he broke my hold, twisted around, and grasped
each of my arms above the elbow. I was relieved to recall the technique without even
thinking, but Kelly had a real grip on me, not a loose one like we’d done in the drills
at the start of class. He was holding me tight enough to hurt . . . though surely
not as tight as a raging patient might. Lonnie’s face flashed across my mind, dropping
my stomach to my feet but focusing my energy. I looped my arms up inside Kelly’s.
It took four spirited tries to break his hold.
“Not bad,” he said.
I rubbed my sore forearms. “Not great. You could have head-butted me into unconsciousness
ten times over, in the time that took.”
“So try it again.”
And I did. Kelly made me do it a dozen times, until my shoulders burned and my face
was flushed and my arms tenderized. I’d probably have bruises like his by the end
of the three-day course, tattooed all black and blue.
We swapped, and he stooped to curl his arm around my neck. His hold was loose enough,
but his elbow was as locked and unyielding as an iron collar. I did everything I’d
been taught and everything Kelly’s deep voice reiterated just behind my ear, but he
was too strong. Or I was too weak. I felt dizzy from the hangover and the creeping
claustrophobia, my muscles more limp with every attempt, noodles turning soft and
useless. My pushes grew frantic, and he must have sensed I was beyond trying.
When he finally stepped back and let me rest, I was panting and no doubt red as a
brick, my sweat stinking of whiskey and wine. He studied my face, and I didn’t think
I’d ever felt so unattractive.
“Well done,” he said.
I glanced at the clock on the gym’s wall, finding it was only a minute until we were
due to finish. I waved his compliment away, knowing I looked half-dead, and spoke
through my huffing. “Oh yeah, piece of cake.”
Though it never surfaced, I saw a smile lurking behind his lips.
“Great work, everyone!” Audra said with a clap. “See you back here tomorrow at ten
for round two! So keep limber!”
Kelly and I headed for the door together.
“We’ve missed lunch,” I said as I realized it. My stomach growled, eavesdropping.
“We missed lunch
service
. But there’ll still be something to scavenge, if you didn’t pack anything.”
“I didn’t.”
“Better get you introduced to the kitchen staff. Good friends to have around here.”
“Oh?”
He nodded as we exited, and his eyes looked different outside. Nearly blue, like a
thick, antique glass bottle. “The residents in the locked ward get so few luxuries,
food’s a big deal. Sometimes
The drills went on for another full, sweaty, awkward hour, then we took a five-minute
break before switching to self-defense basics.
What if a patient grabbed your clothes? Your hair? Your arms, legs, throat, waist,
or tried to gouge your eyes? We learned tricks for all these terrifying scenarios,
then got teamed with a fellow trainee or trainer to do some improvisational drills,
with Audra patrolling, correcting people’s form. To my equal pleasure and annoyance,
I got paired with Kelly. If I wasn’t mistaken . . . had he picked me? We’d been standing
fairly close together, but I felt pretty sure he’d chosen me. It’d be just like him
to lay claims. And it’d be very
un
like me to take such perverse enjoyment from it.
I eyed him as we faced off. “Who’s attacking?”
“We’ll trade. You start.”
“Fine.” I was tired and stinky, and so far the course had left me more overwhelmed
than empowered. I circled Kelly and looped my arm around his neck. Again, I felt way
more like a dangling kitten than an assailant.
“You’ll never take me alive,” I told him, exhaustion making me punchy.
He nearly laughed, a huff with a smile behind it, though I couldn’t see his face.
“You make a lovely psychopath.”
I squeezed his neck a bit harder, and he broke my hold, twisted around, and grasped
each of my arms above the elbow. I was relieved to recall the technique without even
thinking, but Kelly had a real grip on me, not a loose one like we’d done in the drills
at the start of class. He was holding me tight enough to hurt . . . though surely
not as tight as a raging patient might. Lonnie’s face flashed across my mind, dropping
my stomach to my feet but focusing my energy. I looped my arms up inside Kelly’s.
It took four spirited tries to break his hold.
“Not bad,” he said.
I rubbed my sore forearms. “Not great. You could have head-butted me into unconsciousness
ten times over, in the time that took.”
“So try it again.”
And I did. Kelly made me do it a dozen times, until my shoulders burned and my face
was flushed and my arms tenderized. I’d probably have bruises like his by the end
of the three-day course, tattooed all black and blue.
We swapped, and he stooped to curl his arm around my neck. His hold was loose enough,
but his elbow was as locked and unyielding as an iron collar. I did everything I’d
been taught and everything Kelly’s deep voice reiterated just behind my ear, but he
was too strong. Or I was too weak. I felt dizzy from the hangover and the creeping
claustrophobia, my muscles more limp with every attempt, noodles turning soft and
useless. My pushes grew frantic, and he must have sensed I was beyond trying.
When he finally stepped back and let me rest, I was panting and no doubt red as a
brick, my sweat stinking of whiskey and wine. He studied my face, and I didn’t think
I’d ever felt so unattractive.
“Well done,” he said.
I glanced at the clock on the gym’s wall, finding it was only a minute until we were
due to finish. I waved his compliment away, knowing I looked half-dead, and spoke
through my huffing. “Oh yeah, piece of cake.”
Though it never surfaced, I saw a smile lurking behind his lips.
“Great work, everyone!” Audra said with a clap. “See you back here tomorrow at ten
for round two! So keep limber!”
Kelly and I headed for the door together.
“We’ve missed lunch,” I said as I realized it. My stomach growled, eavesdropping.
“We missed lunch
service
. But there’ll still be something to scavenge, if you didn’t pack anything.”
“I didn’t.”
“Better get you introduced to the kitchen staff. Good friends to have around here.”
“Oh?”
He nodded as we exited, and his eyes looked different outside. Nearly blue, like a
thick, antique glass bottle. “The residents in the locked ward get so few luxuries,
food’s a big deal. Sometimes
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