Read Online After Ever After (9780545292788) by Jordan Sonnenblick - Free Book Online

many hours of consultation with his most trusted friend and sometime math tutor, ThaddeusIbsen, Jeffrey met Lindsey in the lobby of the school on the night of the dance in a hand-me-down Donald Duck outfit.
    Try to imagine, through the mist of the intervening century, the horrifying tableau: She appears from behind a pillar, gorgeous in silk of the palest blue and purest white. He limps in through the double doors, sporting a sailor suit, a jaunty beret, and a bright orange rubber beak. Their eyes meet. He inhales, stunned by the vision before him.
    She must be somewhat stunned as well. “Jeffrey?” she asks.
    He nods, his duckbill flopping exaggeratedly. There is a moment of total silence. “Well,” Jeffrey mumbles defensively, “you said I should think Disney.”
    And then the unexpected occurs. Lindsey Abraham, princess of the ball, throws her head back and laughs. “God, I totally heart you. You’re just so goofy.”
    â€œDonald Duck, actually,” Jeffrey says. She laughs some more and holds out her arm. He blushes furiously, but takes it in his own.
    Together, they walk through an arch of crepe paper into their first date.
    History does not record exactly what is said for most of the next hour, as Jeffrey and Lindsey sit in the gym bleachers,talking intensely. However, a passing sixth-grade vampire overhears the following exchange:
    Lindsey: So, do you want to dance?
    Jeffrey: Uh, dancing is pretty hard for me because of the … ( gestures vaguely in direction of his bad foot ).
    Lindsey: ( Looks concerned, then slowly breaks into a mischievous grin ) So, do you want to slow dance?
    That was on a Friday. Tad came over on Saturday, and grilled me for about an hour before he even bothered to mention anything about math. On the one hand, I felt pretty weird discussing Lindsey with him, especially since he had supposedly come down with some kind of miraculous last-minute twelve-hour illness that had kept him away from the dance. But on the other, I was busting to talk about it with someone, and Steven was out of the country. As you might imagine, my parents were an extremely distant third choice.
    Tad led off with his usual gentle charm. “So, D.A., how was the dance? Was Lindsey all over you like ashag carpet? Was she totally hot for your duck-billed bod? Did you sneak her into the workout room like I told you to? Did you, like, make out on my favorite exercise bike? ’Cause I’d really want to be warned before Monday if you guys, like, drooled all over my seat. I mean, there are those disinfecting wipes hanging on the wall by the free weights, but —”
    â€œDude, it wasn’t like that.”
    â€œOh, you wiped the seat?”
    â€œNO! I mean, you might find this hard to believe, but we mostly talked.”
    â€œExcellent! You were suavely laying the groundwork for seduction. That’s good technique right there. Did you whisper in her ear? Chicks love that. At least from what I’ve read in certain illicit —”
    â€œTad, it wasn’t like that , either. We had the talk .”
    He pretended to be wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. “Oh, wow, she told you how babies are made? I kind of thought the stork thing might satisfy you for a few more years, but I suppose my little Jeffy boy is growing up. If you have any follow-upquestions, I’d be happy to refer you to a few choice Web sites.”
    â€œNot that talk. I told her about … you know.”
    â€œThe Pythagorean theorem? The FOIL method? Photosynthesis?”
    â€œWould you stop being such a snapperhead for a minute? I told her about my cancer, all right?”
    Tad shut up for a little while. Then in a much mellower voice, he asked, “So how did that go over?”
    â€œI don’t know. I think it went OK. She danced with me afterward … and …”
    â€œAnd what?” Tad asked as a smirk started spreading across his face. It’s