instead of Sidney Poitier,” Lila said. “You know that poem about the different ways to look at a bird? She knew them all by heart. How many was it, Allison?”
“Thirteen,” I said. “ O thin men of Haddam, why do you imagine golden birds? Do you not see how the blackbird walks around the feet of the women about you? ”
Lila took my hand and squeezed the thumbnail until it showed a white blob. A ghost, she taught me the day we met on stairwell B. A ghost in your fingernail .
“Are you ladies hungry?” Gladys said.
“I can’t eat,” Lila said.
“Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do?” Gladys said, a song from prep school days. “If you could eat, dear, what would you, for a wish?”
“Cake,” we both said. It was her favorite forever.
“You don’t say,” she said, chuckling. She reached under her shawl and brought cake to the Point No Point Casino Lounge Number Six. It was a small piece on a paper plate, covered in clear plastic like a birthday leftover. This woman was a prophetess. “A bite won’t kill you,” she said to Lila, “no quicker, anyway.”
Lila tore the plastic off and licked a bit of icing from her finger. “What other wishes can you grant, Gladys?” she asked.
Gladys reached down to Lila’s waist and pointed to the beeper. “You won’t believe me,” she said, “but I can make this go off and extend your life if the operation works.”
“Bullshit,” I said.
“I made the cake,” Gladys said. “I made you a drink, as you well know. That’s no less a miracle. You want to live longer, Lila? It won’t be fun, but it seems like you girls could use the time.”
“You’re crazy and I wish you would stop,” I said.
“I don’t think so,” Gladys said. “I don’t think you’re ready for it to stop.”
Lila looked at Gladys and me and then the cake. It felt like waiting for Adam to say it back, those quiet times when all of a sudden nothing’s a joke. We’d had these moments before, usually in bars. This was like all of them. “Yes,” Lila said finally, “but can you really?”
“There’s only one way to find out,” Gladys said, and stood up. “No, what am I talking about? There are lots of ways. It’s a gamble.”
“It was a gamble to come here,” Lila said. “What are the odds?”
Gladys didn’t answer, or maybe we didn’t hear it, not over the beeper. It was working. It was beeping. “Oh my god,” Lila said quietly. “I have to call the hospital if this is real. I have to call in and see.”
“Phone around the corner,” Gladys pointed.
“I’ll go with you,” I said. She tottered up and leaned against me, staring at the old woman at our table, and I felt a warm rush those cocktails couldn’t touch. It was love, not that I didn’t know. We left the lounge and never saw Gladys again. It could be a malfunction, I knew, but that’s always the case. Lila tossed coins into the phone which sat near the slot machines because the world doesn’t care how exactly they get your money. I watched Lila talk to someone like she’d shown her scar to Gus, and loved her way up north. This is love, to sit with someone you’ve known forever in a place you’ve been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it’s time to go. You don’t care about yours. Why should it change, the love you feel, no matter how death goes? She smiled at me and stuck her thumb up and hung up on the guy at the other end of the line.
“They’re real mad at you,” she said with a grin. “It’s real, though. We can catch the last ferry and I can be in tremendous pain by tomorrow afternoon.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” I said.
“Do you think Gladys,” Lila said, “is some sort of—”
“She said she was here to serve as an example,” I said. “I promise I’ll do a thorough investigation while you’re under anesthetic, Lila, only please let’s go let’s go let’s go.”
“Listen to you,” she
“Thirteen,” I said. “ O thin men of Haddam, why do you imagine golden birds? Do you not see how the blackbird walks around the feet of the women about you? ”
Lila took my hand and squeezed the thumbnail until it showed a white blob. A ghost, she taught me the day we met on stairwell B. A ghost in your fingernail .
“Are you ladies hungry?” Gladys said.
“I can’t eat,” Lila said.
“Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do?” Gladys said, a song from prep school days. “If you could eat, dear, what would you, for a wish?”
“Cake,” we both said. It was her favorite forever.
“You don’t say,” she said, chuckling. She reached under her shawl and brought cake to the Point No Point Casino Lounge Number Six. It was a small piece on a paper plate, covered in clear plastic like a birthday leftover. This woman was a prophetess. “A bite won’t kill you,” she said to Lila, “no quicker, anyway.”
Lila tore the plastic off and licked a bit of icing from her finger. “What other wishes can you grant, Gladys?” she asked.
Gladys reached down to Lila’s waist and pointed to the beeper. “You won’t believe me,” she said, “but I can make this go off and extend your life if the operation works.”
“Bullshit,” I said.
“I made the cake,” Gladys said. “I made you a drink, as you well know. That’s no less a miracle. You want to live longer, Lila? It won’t be fun, but it seems like you girls could use the time.”
“You’re crazy and I wish you would stop,” I said.
“I don’t think so,” Gladys said. “I don’t think you’re ready for it to stop.”
Lila looked at Gladys and me and then the cake. It felt like waiting for Adam to say it back, those quiet times when all of a sudden nothing’s a joke. We’d had these moments before, usually in bars. This was like all of them. “Yes,” Lila said finally, “but can you really?”
“There’s only one way to find out,” Gladys said, and stood up. “No, what am I talking about? There are lots of ways. It’s a gamble.”
“It was a gamble to come here,” Lila said. “What are the odds?”
Gladys didn’t answer, or maybe we didn’t hear it, not over the beeper. It was working. It was beeping. “Oh my god,” Lila said quietly. “I have to call the hospital if this is real. I have to call in and see.”
“Phone around the corner,” Gladys pointed.
“I’ll go with you,” I said. She tottered up and leaned against me, staring at the old woman at our table, and I felt a warm rush those cocktails couldn’t touch. It was love, not that I didn’t know. We left the lounge and never saw Gladys again. It could be a malfunction, I knew, but that’s always the case. Lila tossed coins into the phone which sat near the slot machines because the world doesn’t care how exactly they get your money. I watched Lila talk to someone like she’d shown her scar to Gus, and loved her way up north. This is love, to sit with someone you’ve known forever in a place you’ve been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it’s time to go. You don’t care about yours. Why should it change, the love you feel, no matter how death goes? She smiled at me and stuck her thumb up and hung up on the guy at the other end of the line.
“They’re real mad at you,” she said with a grin. “It’s real, though. We can catch the last ferry and I can be in tremendous pain by tomorrow afternoon.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” I said.
“Do you think Gladys,” Lila said, “is some sort of—”
“She said she was here to serve as an example,” I said. “I promise I’ll do a thorough investigation while you’re under anesthetic, Lila, only please let’s go let’s go let’s go.”
“Listen to you,” she
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