honest that it’s painful. I can remember Wade asking a store clerk when her baby was due and wanting the floor to swallow me up when I realized she was just carrying a lot of belly fat. I’ve never been a target until now though, so even though I don’t want her to get in trouble, I want to get away from this guy before I die of humiliation.
“She just has no filter,” he explains, burying his face in his hands. Henry looks up at me with big brown eyes and smiles, making all my embarrassment fade.
“I think you’re pretty,” he tells me, warming my heart.
“That makes two of us, buddy,” the guy says. I know he’s just being nice because he still feels bad about what his sister said and I have a feeling that Henry is the kind of kid who is going to spend his life trying to smooth over his sister’s actions.
“Thank you so much for cleaning my car. That was really nice,” I say, moving to get into the SUV.
“Okay, bye,” the guy says hesitantly. He gathers the kids and starts walking to his car. I start the SUV and roll down the windows to get some air moving in the overheated car. I fidget with the GPS putting Dad’s address in. I’m pretty sure I know the way but I don’t want to take any chances. Then I find the perfect radio station for the ride home. I’m just about to put the car into reverse when I hear a horn honk.
The Mustang rolls by slowly and they all wave adorably. I hear Ava’s voice start to sing, “Seth and Lisa sittin’ in a tree,” and the car zooms off. I laugh when I realize that Seth must be her brother’s name and they must have overheard the librarian call me Lisa on the way out. On the way home I let myself daydream about a guy like that actually wanting to be with a girl like me.
As I pull into Dad’s driveway, I can’t believe the thoughts that have been running through my head. I haven’t wanted to touch my boyfriend of two years for months, the thought of his hands on me repugnant because of Phil. But for some reason I have no problem fantasizing about this stranger having his way with me. Of course these are just fantasies and I’d probably act like I got zapped with a cattle prod the minute he touched me, but it makes me hopeful that maybe someday I’ll have normal feelings and reactions to someone I’m attracted to. Maybe I’m not turning into a robot after all.
****
I’m nervous about Dad coming home tonight. Even though I’ve checked the hood of the car about twenty times and it doesn’t look damaged by the birds, I don’t want to let him down. As much as I miss Wade, I don’t want to get sent back to Missouri early. I rock back and forth in Dad’s recliner waiting to hear the garage door go up. The last thing I want to do is burden him with my crap, literally, after he’s worked all day but I want to be honest. Finally, I hear the jerk of the door going up and I walk out to the garage to meet them.
Lisa waves pleasantly when she sees me, and as much as I would like to tell myself that she really likes having me around, I would bet money that she is probably counting the days until I leave.
“Hey, sweetie,” Dad greets me, swinging his briefcase lightheartedly as he shuts the door to the Prius.
“Dad, can you come outside for a second?”
Dad and Lisa exchange a glance but then Lisa continues into the house and Dad follows me out to the driveway to the SUV.
“I went to the library today and when I came out some birds had crapped on the hood. A really nice guy wiped it off with something and I think it’s all off but I wanted you to know,” I confess.
I watch Dad run his hand over the hood then look at me with an expression I don’t recognize.
“Cassidy, I appreciate your honesty, but I wouldn’t give a shit if you totaled this car as long as you were okay. Sweetie, stuff is going to happen and that’s okay. Nobody expects you to be perfect here,” he says with wet eyes.
The tenderness in his eyes catches me off-guard and
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