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Authors: Karen Franklin
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unsure at the time because our previous doctor had been so adamant regarding Ryanâs ADHD diagnosis. I remembered that when I felt depressed at his age, I had used marijuana, and I wondered if Ryanâs issue might be similar. I began to wonder if any of these professionals actually knew what they were really dealing with.
This was another of the periods when Rick was doing well enough to be in communication with the kids. I contacted him about the situation, and he decided it was time for him to make a surprise visit. Rick had been released from prison, was sober, and had separated from Sylvia because she had continued to drink during his recovery. The look on the faces of our kids was priceless when their dad walked through the door. At first, Lauren had a look of excitement,
but she caught herself after she realized this visit was not for fun. She sat down with Rick, Ryan, and me, and as parents we told them that we were no longer going to accept their behavior. I told them that if they did not straighten up, we were moving from Colorado back to Arizona, close to Rick, where we at least had support.
Lauren and Ryan listened attentively, not happy with what Rick and I had said. It was beginning to get tougher for the kids to enjoy their lifestyles of addiction, which was a change I wanted to make after our counselor had said the enjoyable way of life I had allowed was part of our problem. The week after Rick left, I got a phone call from the hospital. Lauren was trying to enjoy her addicted lifestyle in the hospital instead. There had been some hysteria because a few patients had taken hits of hallucinogenic LSD. Lauren was the one responsible for bringing the drugs to the program.
I had no idea she had been smuggling in drugs. It went back to the fact that I had been letting go of my control issues, because there was no way I could have searched Laurenâs clothing, backpack, body, and purse every day. If she wanted drugs that badly, she was going to find a way to outsmart me, yet the hospital was up in arms and wanted to throw her out. Why was the counselor so surprised that Lauren was acting the exact same way at the program as she acted at home? Why did the counselor think I had brought her there for treatment in the first place? I wanted the counselor to be able to control the problems I couldnât, and here I was listening to the staff at the hospital complaining about their inability to change Laurenâs behavior. Werenât these the experts?
I expressed my outrage, and the counselor backed down from
threatening to kick Lauren out. They started coming down hard on her with consequences instead. She was switched from the outpatient facilities to inpatient for a day and forced to spend the night in the program, as one punishment. She had been caught bringing in someone elseâs urine for her drug test. I later found out the urine she had taken belonged to a neighborhood girlfriend of Laurenâs who had been in trouble with the law and had urine to share because she was required to supply it for weekly drug tests.
It seemed logical to me that if Lauren needed to be monitored constantly to catch all her tricks, perhaps the professionals should have recommended inpatient treatment. Nobody ever did. The hospital actually encouraged me to give Lauren some freedom and allow her to occasionally see friends. I was at the end of my rope. I felt overwhelmed, hopeless, angry, and discouraged. Though I had threatened Lauren and Ryan with the possibility that we would move back to Arizona, it wasnât what I wanted, and yet a series of things led straight there. I found out that a large Canadian corporation was purchasing the company I worked for, and my department of two was to be downsized. I opted to take the severance package the company offered me. Afterward, I sent out job applications and within a week had two positions offered to me in Phoenix. I had enough money saved by that time to purchase
This was another of the periods when Rick was doing well enough to be in communication with the kids. I contacted him about the situation, and he decided it was time for him to make a surprise visit. Rick had been released from prison, was sober, and had separated from Sylvia because she had continued to drink during his recovery. The look on the faces of our kids was priceless when their dad walked through the door. At first, Lauren had a look of excitement,
but she caught herself after she realized this visit was not for fun. She sat down with Rick, Ryan, and me, and as parents we told them that we were no longer going to accept their behavior. I told them that if they did not straighten up, we were moving from Colorado back to Arizona, close to Rick, where we at least had support.
Lauren and Ryan listened attentively, not happy with what Rick and I had said. It was beginning to get tougher for the kids to enjoy their lifestyles of addiction, which was a change I wanted to make after our counselor had said the enjoyable way of life I had allowed was part of our problem. The week after Rick left, I got a phone call from the hospital. Lauren was trying to enjoy her addicted lifestyle in the hospital instead. There had been some hysteria because a few patients had taken hits of hallucinogenic LSD. Lauren was the one responsible for bringing the drugs to the program.
I had no idea she had been smuggling in drugs. It went back to the fact that I had been letting go of my control issues, because there was no way I could have searched Laurenâs clothing, backpack, body, and purse every day. If she wanted drugs that badly, she was going to find a way to outsmart me, yet the hospital was up in arms and wanted to throw her out. Why was the counselor so surprised that Lauren was acting the exact same way at the program as she acted at home? Why did the counselor think I had brought her there for treatment in the first place? I wanted the counselor to be able to control the problems I couldnât, and here I was listening to the staff at the hospital complaining about their inability to change Laurenâs behavior. Werenât these the experts?
I expressed my outrage, and the counselor backed down from
threatening to kick Lauren out. They started coming down hard on her with consequences instead. She was switched from the outpatient facilities to inpatient for a day and forced to spend the night in the program, as one punishment. She had been caught bringing in someone elseâs urine for her drug test. I later found out the urine she had taken belonged to a neighborhood girlfriend of Laurenâs who had been in trouble with the law and had urine to share because she was required to supply it for weekly drug tests.
It seemed logical to me that if Lauren needed to be monitored constantly to catch all her tricks, perhaps the professionals should have recommended inpatient treatment. Nobody ever did. The hospital actually encouraged me to give Lauren some freedom and allow her to occasionally see friends. I was at the end of my rope. I felt overwhelmed, hopeless, angry, and discouraged. Though I had threatened Lauren and Ryan with the possibility that we would move back to Arizona, it wasnât what I wanted, and yet a series of things led straight there. I found out that a large Canadian corporation was purchasing the company I worked for, and my department of two was to be downsized. I opted to take the severance package the company offered me. Afterward, I sent out job applications and within a week had two positions offered to me in Phoenix. I had enough money saved by that time to purchase
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