Read Online Accidents Happen by Louise Millar - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Louise Millar
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surprise. Right now, this minute, he hated her. He wasn’t just cross. He actually hated her.
Jack leaned forwards at the table, chewing harder, savouring this new, strange feeling, glancing at Kate as she stared out of the kitchen window into the garden, sipping her tea with a little hissing noise.
Thoughts began to pile into his head, one after the other. Yes – he hated her. Hated her stupid nightie that she wore all the time even though it had little holes in it like wounds. Hated the way she never listened to him and always made his worries her worries. Hated the way she kept talking about people breaking into their house and other bad things that made him lie awake at night, seeing shadows and hearing creaks. Hated the way she lied to Nana and was allowed to make their house grey and quiet all the time, just because she was the adult.
Jack put down his bagel and watched his mother chewing her lip.
The hate suddenly made him feel brave.
‘Mum?’
‘Hmm?’
‘I want to go to secondary school with Gabe and everyone else.’
Kate stirred her tea even though she hadn’t put any sugar in it. The bags under her eyes were even darker than usual, he noticed.
‘I don’t want to go to that private school.’
He waited for her reaction.
Kate sighed. ‘Well, you don’t have to.’
‘Really?’ He bit his bagel again, his appetite returning a little.
‘No.’ She took a sip of tea. ‘Jack, listen, I made a decision this weekend. You know we moved to Oxford so Nana and Granddad could help me after Daddy?’
He nodded.
‘Well, I think we’re better now.’
He stopped mid-chew. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, I think it might be a good time for us to go back to London.’
Jack tried to swallow the lumpen, soggy dough but it seemed to swell up and lodge in his throat. He tried again, but it stuck there, refusing to move forwards or backwards. In a panic, he took a mouthful of tea and gulped as hard as he could. The hot liquid forced the soggy mass down his throat, hurting it.
Perhaps it was because he was gasping to clear his mouth, that when he spoke it came out in a panicked rush.
‘NO!’ he yelled.
The sides of his mother’s face drew back like curtains.
‘Jack?’
His voice came out so loud it shocked him, too. But there was something about the shout that felt good. Before he could help it, he knew he wanted to do it again.
He jumped up. ‘NO!’ he cried.
‘Jack?’ There was a bewildered expression on her face. ‘Why are you shouting?’
He didn’t know. He just knew it felt good. He tried the new voice again.
‘Because I’m sick of you always making me do what you want to do!’
Her eyes were round and wide, cold amber glass. Jack realized that he wanted to smash that glass, and make her eyes move. Make them move like Nana’s. Make them do something .
‘Jack!’ She sounded scared. ‘What’s got into you? Why are you speaking like this? Has Nana said something?’
Tears were seeping into her eyes.
Oh, not again .
The little boy slammed both his hands down.
‘NO!’ he yelled. ‘Don’t cry. You always do that! I’m not looking at you any more!’
His mother opened her eyes wide. ‘Jack. I’m not crying! I try very hard not to cry.’
He spun round, with no idea where he was going. He just knew he wasn’t doing this. Clenching his fists, he stalked out of the kitchen into the hallway. He sat on the stairs, pulled on his school shoes without undoing them and grabbed his bookbag.
‘Where are you going?’ Kate asked, following him. She was gulping hard, like she was swallowing horrible medicine.
‘SCHOOL!’
‘But it’s only eight o’clock. Gabe won’t be ready to walk to school with you yet.’
He could hear the panic in her voice. ‘I don’t care. I’m going on my own. Everyone else does. Everyone else’s mum doesn’t think they’re going to get KILLED BY A CAR OR A MURDERER!’
She looked dismayed. He didn’t care. His voice was gaining new
Jack leaned forwards at the table, chewing harder, savouring this new, strange feeling, glancing at Kate as she stared out of the kitchen window into the garden, sipping her tea with a little hissing noise.
Thoughts began to pile into his head, one after the other. Yes – he hated her. Hated her stupid nightie that she wore all the time even though it had little holes in it like wounds. Hated the way she never listened to him and always made his worries her worries. Hated the way she kept talking about people breaking into their house and other bad things that made him lie awake at night, seeing shadows and hearing creaks. Hated the way she lied to Nana and was allowed to make their house grey and quiet all the time, just because she was the adult.
Jack put down his bagel and watched his mother chewing her lip.
The hate suddenly made him feel brave.
‘Mum?’
‘Hmm?’
‘I want to go to secondary school with Gabe and everyone else.’
Kate stirred her tea even though she hadn’t put any sugar in it. The bags under her eyes were even darker than usual, he noticed.
‘I don’t want to go to that private school.’
He waited for her reaction.
Kate sighed. ‘Well, you don’t have to.’
‘Really?’ He bit his bagel again, his appetite returning a little.
‘No.’ She took a sip of tea. ‘Jack, listen, I made a decision this weekend. You know we moved to Oxford so Nana and Granddad could help me after Daddy?’
He nodded.
‘Well, I think we’re better now.’
He stopped mid-chew. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, I think it might be a good time for us to go back to London.’
Jack tried to swallow the lumpen, soggy dough but it seemed to swell up and lodge in his throat. He tried again, but it stuck there, refusing to move forwards or backwards. In a panic, he took a mouthful of tea and gulped as hard as he could. The hot liquid forced the soggy mass down his throat, hurting it.
Perhaps it was because he was gasping to clear his mouth, that when he spoke it came out in a panicked rush.
‘NO!’ he yelled.
The sides of his mother’s face drew back like curtains.
‘Jack?’
His voice came out so loud it shocked him, too. But there was something about the shout that felt good. Before he could help it, he knew he wanted to do it again.
He jumped up. ‘NO!’ he cried.
‘Jack?’ There was a bewildered expression on her face. ‘Why are you shouting?’
He didn’t know. He just knew it felt good. He tried the new voice again.
‘Because I’m sick of you always making me do what you want to do!’
Her eyes were round and wide, cold amber glass. Jack realized that he wanted to smash that glass, and make her eyes move. Make them move like Nana’s. Make them do something .
‘Jack!’ She sounded scared. ‘What’s got into you? Why are you speaking like this? Has Nana said something?’
Tears were seeping into her eyes.
Oh, not again .
The little boy slammed both his hands down.
‘NO!’ he yelled. ‘Don’t cry. You always do that! I’m not looking at you any more!’
His mother opened her eyes wide. ‘Jack. I’m not crying! I try very hard not to cry.’
He spun round, with no idea where he was going. He just knew he wasn’t doing this. Clenching his fists, he stalked out of the kitchen into the hallway. He sat on the stairs, pulled on his school shoes without undoing them and grabbed his bookbag.
‘Where are you going?’ Kate asked, following him. She was gulping hard, like she was swallowing horrible medicine.
‘SCHOOL!’
‘But it’s only eight o’clock. Gabe won’t be ready to walk to school with you yet.’
He could hear the panic in her voice. ‘I don’t care. I’m going on my own. Everyone else does. Everyone else’s mum doesn’t think they’re going to get KILLED BY A CAR OR A MURDERER!’
She looked dismayed. He didn’t care. His voice was gaining new
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