does.”
“Maybe.” I grimaced. It wasn’t the happiest thought, but it’d hardly be surprising. Except that one of them was bound to write about it. Maybe the one who acted like they didn’t care. Maybe that’s why he’d been so careful, maybe he did want to…my head felt light. “I don’t know, he’s got to be careful.”
“Yeah, especially after Ms. the Ex did such a kiss and tell.”
“That did suck. Something surprisingly mean about it.”
“Well, maybe he is a dick. Love ‘em and leave ‘em—a lot. And all those rumors about the band—swinging both ways.” Alice took another drink. Was half the bottle gone? Yes, it was. “It’s hot though, come on, admit it.”
I nodded. “Well yeah. But I don’t know.”
“Whatever. I can’t think what it takes you to let go. I’d pay good money to see him shagging that bandmate of his, what’s his name? The one he lived with. The guy with the wild black hair.”
I mumbled agreement. It would be. It wasn’t the point, though. I wasn’t dead, not yet, but my mind was fuzzing up with the drink. Alice was talking again.
“So, he hasn’t called then? That’s why you’re so upset.”
“It just happened! Honestly, I don’t know. Anyway, he won’t. Come on, get real. I haven’t looked at the phone since I got home this afternoon.”
Alice jumped up. “Shit, girl. It’s 10pm. Check your crackberry!” She ran off to my room and came back, holding the bag. “Oh, what’s that nice smell? Did you buy some cologne?” I grabbed the bag from her. “Ok, calm down, don’t panic. Here you go.” She watched me pull out the phone.
I checked my texts first. The magazine, asking for an update. The yoga course I was on, reminding me of the next lesson. A number I didn’t recognize. I opened it and all the air left my body in a rush, making a noise somewhere between a gasp and a groan. Alice jumped up and read the words over my shoulder.
Loyal once, lost once, stand over me, no security—maybe I got it wrong. Call.
Alice looked at me. “What? Is that him?”
I managed to move my head. I wanted to smile, I was smiling, I just wouldn’t show the hurricane spinning inside me. Not even to Alice. I stood up. I had to move around. She followed me.
“How do you know it’s him? There’s no name.” She looked at me quizzically.
“Song lyrics.” I didn’t mention that it was from a love song. No need, no need. I pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator for something to do. This was all mine. For once.
“Oh that’s clever. And no name, just in case it goes to the wrong place. Smart.”
“Yeah.” Oh, you have no idea.
“You’re happy, right?” Alice wouldn’t leave it alone.
“I am, hon, really,” I said flatly. She looked at me, shocked. “Really. It’s great. I’m just drunk and it’s been a long day. I think I’m going to go to bed.”
“Are you going to call him?” I looked away. That was the question, wasn’t it? To me, the answer was already clear.
“Yeah, sure. Probably not right now, though. Alice, I really need to lie down, the room’s spinning.”
She gave me a hug. “Don’t worry, babe, it’s going to be fine.”
“I hope you’re right.” I took the bag and my phone and watched my feet make patterns of the wooden floorboards. I placed the bag down on the bed and changed into a t shirt. It was soft and cool. It felt good against my flushed skin. My pulse was beating an endless rhythm. And I could only hear those words, in that voice.
“Loyal once, lost once, stand over me, no security. Maybe I got it wrong. Call.”
Over and over again, until sleep finally won.
Chapter 4
I had a busy couple of days trying to do work, and pulling out the phone every so often to look at the text. I hadn’t called him yet. I wasn’t sure if I was going to call. I wasn’t sure any more about anything—if any of it had happened, if the text was legit, if I really was going to give in to something that unreal
Karen Erickson
Kate Evangelista
Meg Cabot
The Wyrding Stone
Jimmy Fallon, Gloria Fallon
Jenny Schwartz
John Buchan
Barry Reese
Denise Grover Swank
Jack L. Chalker