conversation with their eyes. Faith is my friend, and I’m happy for her. Faith is my friend, and I’m happy for her. The odd part was that I totally understood what I was seeing, as though I might have been one half of such a couple more than once in my forgotten past. Sydney would never have understood such a thing, so it had to be me. Darn it! If only I could remember more.
I was somewhat relieved when they finally broke eye contact and began using words, but I was back at it—Steven’s hands, I couldn’t take my eyes off them, not even long enough to get out of the car. One settled on the small of her back while the other gripped her elbow to better guide her toward the front door. When Faith’s arms snaked around his waist in a semi-hug, my wave of envy returned, this time drenching me. Touchy-feelies and they were silent conversers? Aw, hell! This was going to be a very long night.
They stopped at the front door and waited for me to get out of the car, too engrossed in each other to wonder what was taking me so long. Thank God! By the time I stepped foot on the porch, Steven’s hand was busy again. This time it was tracing intimate circles on the back of Faith’s hand. I fought the urge to smack it away, then an even stronger urge to smack myself for being so petty. How could I have ended up feeling this way so soon after the switch? Or was Sydney working on me in her silent way?
I suddenly wondered what Lane’s hands looked like, how they would feel on my bare skin. It was right about then I realized the real answer to my question had just arrived. It was Lane! He’d unlocked my doors, so to speak, slipping right past the security system into my emotional center. Because of him, I’d once again broken The Rule, damn him! Even though I’d convinced myself that the whole mall incident had nothing at all to do with the Sydney-Faith relationship, it didn’t change what he’d done to me . Now, instead of being able to stay objective, I was being forced to deal with my own, deep, lustful, super-embarrassing desires. How could I have let that happen? Had it ever happened before? Was Claire the first time, or….
Was that more chuckling from above?
Faith was frowning at me. She pointed at my shoes and mimicked me pulling the laces tighter. I bent to oblige her, half-smiling. In her world, a shoe was the answer to any question, no matter what. What I would give for my world to be that simple! To have all the answers to my problems color-coded and waiting in a closet for me each morning. Of course, every single pair would have to have Kryptonite soles, the same stuff that robbed Superman of his powers. Maybe Kryptonite would put me more in control. Of course, my situation was real and Kryptonite was fictitious, but if I could own such a collection, I already knew what my first purchase would be—army boots! Yes, after Tom’s kiss when I was Claire, and my own disturbing reaction to Lane, my erotic self really needed some heavy insulation. Ooooh, good thought! Boots sounded like something Faith would have come up with. What else would my collection have? Pink ballet slippers? Now there was a thought. Maybe they’d work as well as army boots. Would Lane have looked past the superficial Sydney and seen the true me if I’d been wearing them? Better yet, how about pink camouflage ballet slippers? Why do you insist on thinking about him? Forget him! And forget about any meeting tomorrow. You can’t handle it, even if it’s supposed to help Shae.
When I straightened from retying the remaining laces, Faith dragged herself away from Steven with some effort, then put her arm around me as he disappeared inside.
“ You are thinking far too much, darling. Do you realize how hazardous it is to your health, not to mention giving you unsightly wrinkles well before your time? It will also make you withdraw even further into that tortoise shell you seem to be carrying around on your back.” Her smile was genuine,
I was somewhat relieved when they finally broke eye contact and began using words, but I was back at it—Steven’s hands, I couldn’t take my eyes off them, not even long enough to get out of the car. One settled on the small of her back while the other gripped her elbow to better guide her toward the front door. When Faith’s arms snaked around his waist in a semi-hug, my wave of envy returned, this time drenching me. Touchy-feelies and they were silent conversers? Aw, hell! This was going to be a very long night.
They stopped at the front door and waited for me to get out of the car, too engrossed in each other to wonder what was taking me so long. Thank God! By the time I stepped foot on the porch, Steven’s hand was busy again. This time it was tracing intimate circles on the back of Faith’s hand. I fought the urge to smack it away, then an even stronger urge to smack myself for being so petty. How could I have ended up feeling this way so soon after the switch? Or was Sydney working on me in her silent way?
I suddenly wondered what Lane’s hands looked like, how they would feel on my bare skin. It was right about then I realized the real answer to my question had just arrived. It was Lane! He’d unlocked my doors, so to speak, slipping right past the security system into my emotional center. Because of him, I’d once again broken The Rule, damn him! Even though I’d convinced myself that the whole mall incident had nothing at all to do with the Sydney-Faith relationship, it didn’t change what he’d done to me . Now, instead of being able to stay objective, I was being forced to deal with my own, deep, lustful, super-embarrassing desires. How could I have let that happen? Had it ever happened before? Was Claire the first time, or….
Was that more chuckling from above?
Faith was frowning at me. She pointed at my shoes and mimicked me pulling the laces tighter. I bent to oblige her, half-smiling. In her world, a shoe was the answer to any question, no matter what. What I would give for my world to be that simple! To have all the answers to my problems color-coded and waiting in a closet for me each morning. Of course, every single pair would have to have Kryptonite soles, the same stuff that robbed Superman of his powers. Maybe Kryptonite would put me more in control. Of course, my situation was real and Kryptonite was fictitious, but if I could own such a collection, I already knew what my first purchase would be—army boots! Yes, after Tom’s kiss when I was Claire, and my own disturbing reaction to Lane, my erotic self really needed some heavy insulation. Ooooh, good thought! Boots sounded like something Faith would have come up with. What else would my collection have? Pink ballet slippers? Now there was a thought. Maybe they’d work as well as army boots. Would Lane have looked past the superficial Sydney and seen the true me if I’d been wearing them? Better yet, how about pink camouflage ballet slippers? Why do you insist on thinking about him? Forget him! And forget about any meeting tomorrow. You can’t handle it, even if it’s supposed to help Shae.
When I straightened from retying the remaining laces, Faith dragged herself away from Steven with some effort, then put her arm around me as he disappeared inside.
“ You are thinking far too much, darling. Do you realize how hazardous it is to your health, not to mention giving you unsightly wrinkles well before your time? It will also make you withdraw even further into that tortoise shell you seem to be carrying around on your back.” Her smile was genuine,
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