Read Online A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan - Free Book Online Page A

Jocelyn goes, They’re his children . That blond girl, everyone calls her Charlie, she’s twenty. Rolph, that one, he’s our age. They went to Africa with him.
    I lean close to the picture. Lou looks so happy, surrounded by his kids like any normal dad, that I can’t believe this Lou with us is the very same Lou. Then I notice his son Rolph. He has blue eyes and black hair and a bright, sweet smile. I get a crawling feeling in my stomach. I go, Rolph is decent, and Jocelyn laughs and goes, Really. Then she goes, Don’t tell Lou I said that.
    He comes into the bedroom a minute later, rock-crunching another apple. I realize the apples are completely for Lou, he eats them nonstop. I slide off the bed without looking at him, and he shuts the door behind me.
    It takes me a second to get what’s going on in the living room. Scotty is sitting cross-legged, picking at a gold guitar in the shape of a flame. Alice is behind him with her arms around his neck, her face next to his, her hair falling into his lap. Her eyes are closed with joy. I forget who I actually am for a second—all I can think is how Bennie will feel when he sees this. I look around for him, but there’s just Marty peering at the albums on the wall, trying to be inconspicuous. And then I notice the music flooding out of every part of the apartment at once—the couch, the walls, even the floor—and I know Bennie’s alone in Lou’s studio, pouring music around us. A minute ago it was “Don’t Let Me Down.” Then it was Blondie’s “Heart of Glass.” Now it’s Iggy Pop’s “The Passenger”:
I am the passenger
And I ride and I ride
I ride through the city’s backside
I see the stars come out of the sky
    Listening, I think, You will never know how much I understand you.
    I notice Marty looking over at me kind of hesitant, and I see how this is supposed to work: I’m the dog, so I get Marty. I slide open a glass door and go onto Lou’s balcony. I’ve never seen San Francisco from so high up: it’s a soft blue-black, with colored lights and fog like gray smoke. Long piers reach out into the flat dark bay. There’s a mean wind, so I run in for my jacket and then come back out and curl up tightly on a white plastic chair. I stare at that view until I start to get calm. I think, The world is actually huge. That’s the part no one can really explain.
    After a while the door slides open. I don’t look up, thinking it’s Marty, but it turns out to be Lou. He’s barefoot, wearing shorts. His legs are tan even in the dark. I go, Where’s Jocelyn?
    Asleep, Lou goes. He’s standing at the railing, looking out. It’s the first time I’ve seen him be still.
    I go, Do you even remember being our age?
    Lou grins at me in my chair, but it’s a copy of the grin he had at dinner. I am your age, he goes.
    Ahem, I go. You have six kids.
    So I do, he goes. He turns his back, waiting for me to disappear. I think, I didn’t have sex with this man. I don’t even know him. Then he goes, I’ll never get old.
    You’re already old, I tell him.
    He swivels around and peers at me huddled in my chair. You’re scary, he goes. You know that?
    It’s the freckles, I go.
    It’s not the freckles, it’s you . He keeps looking at me, and then something shifts in his face and he goes, I like it.
    Do not.
    I do. You’re gonna keep me honest, Rhea.
    I’m surprised he remembers my name. I go, It’s too late for that, Lou.
    Now he laughs, really laughs, and I understand that we’re friends, Lou and I. Even if I hate him, which I do. I get out of my chair and come to the railing, where he is.
    People will try to change you, Rhea, Lou goes. Don’t let ’em.
    But I want to change.
    No, he goes, serious. You’re beautiful. Stay like this.
    But the freckles, I go, and my throat gets that ache.
    The freckles are the best part, Lou says. Some guy is going to go apeshit for those freckles. He’s going to kiss them one by one.
    I start to cry, I don’t even hide