but at least it’s better than taking a child to a prayer meeting. But what is there for me to do? I’m not living, I’m existing. I’ve got to break out, I’ve got to, or I’ll go mad.’
‘And yet you can’t forgive your father,’ Edward said, realizing even as he said it that he had made a monumental blunder.
And indeed Catrin stared at him unbelievingly for a second and then struck him hard on the cheek. She reined in the pony. ‘You can get out and walk,’ she said. ‘You’ll have time if you hurry. I’ll send the trunk after you.’
Edward had been so looking forward to the drive, and was so thrown by this turn of events, that he, too, lost control of himself. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her towards him and kissed her hard on the mouth. Only a moment she resisted, then her lips opened for his kiss and she was kissing him back. Their eyes were open and amazed as they went on kissing each other without a word. Soon his hands were opening the buttons which had so enchanted him and pulling aside skirt and petticoat.
‘Let’s go into the field,’ he said, his voice parched and rough.
‘No.’ She was crying now and re-arranging her clothes. ‘No.’
‘You must go,’ she said. ‘Take Bella and leave her outside the station with Mr Thomas. Say I felt faint. I do feel faint. I do. I’ll walk on later. Please go. Please.’
Edward, too, was horrified by what had happened. All he had dared hope for was to sit near her for the duration of the journey and to hold her hand and perhaps kiss her cheek at parting.
‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured over and over again. ‘Dearest, I’m sorry. Don’t make me go. Don’t make me leave you. Tell me you forgive me. Oh my dear, say you forgive me.’
‘We both need forgiveness,’ Catrin said at last. Suddenly she seemed calmer than he. She shook the reins and drove on letting the tears dry on her face.
‘I love you, Catrin, I’ve known it since the moment I arrived. I think I knew it last year. I shall break off my engagement to Rose. When you come to London, I shall visit you every weekend and take you to art galleries and museums. Will you be my sweetheart, Catrin? Oh, promise me that you will.’
His voice had taken on a hypnotic quality, pleading and tender, but somehow sure of success.
‘I don’t know,’ she said at last. ‘I don’t know what will happen.’
They drove on in silence until they could see the little town spread out before them. The morning was cloudless.
Catrin turned into the narrow side road leading to the station. Edward took his watch from his pocket. ‘We’ve still got half an hour,’ he told her.
But Catrin refused to wait with him in spite of all his pleading. She gave him her hand for an instant, then turned and left him without a backward glance.
She let Bella choose her own speed on the journey home. It was very hot. ‘I don’t know what will happen,’ she kept repeating desolately.
Edward had almost reached Paddington before once thinking of Rose. He had dwelt only on the encounter with Catrin; his emotions gradually changing from shame to delight and excitement. Some of the time, he simply couldn’t believe what had happened, he had to reconstruct the whole scene, step by step, word by word, from their departure from the house to the point when she had turned blazing eyes on him and struck him.
He wrote her several letters, varying in tone from first to last.
I hope you can forget the inconsiderate way I behaved this morning. Believe me, nothing of the sort shall happen again to mar our courtship. Please write to me to tell me you forgive me.
My apologies and regrets were false. How can I regret the most beautiful moments of my life? I shall never forget how we looked at each other and strove for closer closeness. I shall never be able to stop thinking about what happened. Please write to me and tell me you love me as I love you.
Green-eyed Kate, half girl, half woman, tall and
‘And yet you can’t forgive your father,’ Edward said, realizing even as he said it that he had made a monumental blunder.
And indeed Catrin stared at him unbelievingly for a second and then struck him hard on the cheek. She reined in the pony. ‘You can get out and walk,’ she said. ‘You’ll have time if you hurry. I’ll send the trunk after you.’
Edward had been so looking forward to the drive, and was so thrown by this turn of events, that he, too, lost control of himself. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her towards him and kissed her hard on the mouth. Only a moment she resisted, then her lips opened for his kiss and she was kissing him back. Their eyes were open and amazed as they went on kissing each other without a word. Soon his hands were opening the buttons which had so enchanted him and pulling aside skirt and petticoat.
‘Let’s go into the field,’ he said, his voice parched and rough.
‘No.’ She was crying now and re-arranging her clothes. ‘No.’
‘You must go,’ she said. ‘Take Bella and leave her outside the station with Mr Thomas. Say I felt faint. I do feel faint. I do. I’ll walk on later. Please go. Please.’
Edward, too, was horrified by what had happened. All he had dared hope for was to sit near her for the duration of the journey and to hold her hand and perhaps kiss her cheek at parting.
‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured over and over again. ‘Dearest, I’m sorry. Don’t make me go. Don’t make me leave you. Tell me you forgive me. Oh my dear, say you forgive me.’
‘We both need forgiveness,’ Catrin said at last. Suddenly she seemed calmer than he. She shook the reins and drove on letting the tears dry on her face.
‘I love you, Catrin, I’ve known it since the moment I arrived. I think I knew it last year. I shall break off my engagement to Rose. When you come to London, I shall visit you every weekend and take you to art galleries and museums. Will you be my sweetheart, Catrin? Oh, promise me that you will.’
His voice had taken on a hypnotic quality, pleading and tender, but somehow sure of success.
‘I don’t know,’ she said at last. ‘I don’t know what will happen.’
They drove on in silence until they could see the little town spread out before them. The morning was cloudless.
Catrin turned into the narrow side road leading to the station. Edward took his watch from his pocket. ‘We’ve still got half an hour,’ he told her.
But Catrin refused to wait with him in spite of all his pleading. She gave him her hand for an instant, then turned and left him without a backward glance.
She let Bella choose her own speed on the journey home. It was very hot. ‘I don’t know what will happen,’ she kept repeating desolately.
Edward had almost reached Paddington before once thinking of Rose. He had dwelt only on the encounter with Catrin; his emotions gradually changing from shame to delight and excitement. Some of the time, he simply couldn’t believe what had happened, he had to reconstruct the whole scene, step by step, word by word, from their departure from the house to the point when she had turned blazing eyes on him and struck him.
He wrote her several letters, varying in tone from first to last.
I hope you can forget the inconsiderate way I behaved this morning. Believe me, nothing of the sort shall happen again to mar our courtship. Please write to me to tell me you forgive me.
My apologies and regrets were false. How can I regret the most beautiful moments of my life? I shall never forget how we looked at each other and strove for closer closeness. I shall never be able to stop thinking about what happened. Please write to me and tell me you love me as I love you.
Green-eyed Kate, half girl, half woman, tall and
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