Read Online A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival by Lemony Snicket - Free Book Online

to you before, then you are experiencing what the French call "deja vu." Like most French expressions, "ennui," which is a fancy term for severe boredom, or "la petite mort," which describes a feeling that part of you has died, refers to something that is usually not very pleasant, because it is curious to feel as if you have heard or seen something that you have heard or seen before. and experiencing the queasy feeling of deja. "These lions are going to be the most exciting thing at Caligari Carnival!" Olaf announced, as more and more people drew near to see what all the fuss was about. "As you all know, unless you are incredibly dim-witted, a stubborn mule will move in the proper direction if there is a carrot in front of it, and a stick behind it. It will move toward the carrot, because it wants the reward of food, and away from the stick, because it does not want the punishment of pain. And these lions will do the same." "What's going on?" Hugo asked the children, walking out of the caravan with Colette and Kevin close behind. "Deja," Sunny said bitterly. Even the youngest Baudelaire recognized Count Olaf's cruel speech about the stubborn mule from when the three children had been living in Olaf's house. Back then, the villain had talked about a stubborn mule in order to force Violet to marry him, a plot that thankfully had been foiled at the last minute, but now he was using the very same words to cook up another scheme, and it gave the siblings a queasy feeling to watch it happen. "These lions," Count Olaf said, "will do as I say, because they want to avoid the punishment of this whip!" With a flourish, he flicked his whip at the lions again, who cowered behind the bars, and some of the visitors to the carnival applauded. "But if the whip is the stick," asked the bald man, "what is the carrot?" "The carrot?" Olaf repeated, and laughed in a particularly nasty way. "The reward for the lions who obey me will be a delicious meal. Lions are carnivorous, which means they eat meat, and here at Caligari Carnival they'll have the finest meat we have to offer." He turned and pointed his whip at the entrance to the freaks' caravan, where the Baudelaires were standing with their coworkers. "The freaks you see here aren't normal people, and so they lead depressing lives," he announced. "They'll be happy to exhibit themselves in the name of entertainment." "Of course we will," Colette said. "We do it every day." "Then you won't mind being the most important part of the lion show," Olaf replied. "We're not going to feed these lions regular meals, so they'll be very, very hungry by the time the show begins. Each day, instead of a show at the House of Freaks, we'll randomly choose one freak and watch the lions devour them." Everyone cheered again, except for Hugo, Colette, Kevin, and the three siblings, who all stood in horrified silence. "That will be exciting!" said the man with pimples on his face. "Just think, violence and sloppy eating combined in one fabulous show!" "I couldn't agree more!" said a woman who was standing nearby. "It was hilarious watching that two-headed freak eat, but it'll be even more hilarious watching the two-headed freak get eaten! "I'd prefer to watch the hunchback get eaten," said someone else in the crowd. "He's so funny! He doesn't even have a regular back!" "The fun starts tomorrow afternoon!" Count Olaf cried. "See you then!" "I can't wait," said the woman, as the crowd began to disperse, a word which here means "walk off to purchase souvenirs or leave the carnival." "I'm going to tell all my friends." "I'm going to call that reporter at The Daily Punctilio, " the man with pimples said, heading toward the phone booth. "This carnival is about to get very popular, and maybe they'll write an article about it." "You were right, boss," said the hook-handed man. "Things are about to get much better here." "Of course he was right, please," Madame Lulu said. "He is brilliant man, and brave man, and generous man.