to escape his family was a sensible option at the time, and when he’d checked in at the hotel he hadn’t expected the manager–a fellow veteran–to comp his room for a week-long stay, but it had been much appreciated. The first day went by without him touching a drink. As did the second day. By the third, he called himself all kinds of coward as he found a corner store and hauled back a case of beer along with Jack and vodka.
Inevitably guilt from breaking his promise began to gnaw at him. Guilt from his family’s pain. Guilt from the look on Zuly’s face when he left her. What could he do but call? He should’ve known she’d come. She always came.
“You may want to shower,” Zuly suggested mildly as she stood and set down that magazine. “Housekeeping brought by fresh toiletries, and room service should be up with dinner in a bit.” Walking past him as though he weren’t there, she grabbed her jacket and bag. “Ordered something light for you since I wasn’t exactly sure what your stomach may or may not be able to handle.”
She reached the door, opening it, and Fitz moved as fast as possible to close it, pinning her between himself and the heavy wood. “Stay.” It wasn’t a request. Couldn’t have even been called a plea. But something instinctively told him that if he let Zuly walk away from him again, things would change forever in a way that would break his already fractured spirit.
“Give me a reason,” she whispered. “Give me a good reason.”
He dropped his forehead to her hair and did something he swore he would never do. Fitz admitted the truth. “I need you.”
Silence.
“I need you, Zuly. I can’t help but to feel like something precious is slipping through my fingers right now, and I’m trying to grasp it so if you love me at all–”
“ If I love you?”
So that had been the wrong thing to say if the low growl that left her was any indication.
“Fitzgerald Carrigan, I stand on the rock of my Lord and Savior when I say I am keeping my composure by a miniscule thread, baby,” Zuly continued. “A thread so thin the Fates would only have to pluck it to watch it break.”
A reaction. He was getting a reaction. Good.
“Love, I am more than willing to take total and complete responsibility for that. I am more than willing to say I am one fucked-up individual right now and that I owe not only my brothers but also my parents and you an apology. But what I’m not more than willing to do is sit back and allow you to walk out this door. My heart can’t take that, Z. So this is me—” He backed away from her, lowering himself onto his good knee “— begging you to give a dying man another chance. I fully acknowledge that I need help. I need a counselor. I need you. If you step away from me...I really don’t know how I’ll be able to fix this.” When she slowly turned, he wrapped his arms around her torso and pressed his face to the soft warmth of her belly, remembering the feel of her in his arms right before he’d drifted off into his first dreamless sleep in months. “Don’t leave me,” Fitz murmured.
They’d stood there like that for what felt like hours when gentle hands finally combed through his hair, nails raking against his scalp in a comforting caress that sent a shiver down his spine.
“I wasn’t leaving you, Fitz,” Zuly murmured back. “It’s impossible for me to leave you, in case you haven’t noticed yet.” She cupped his face, making him stare up at her. Brushing his locks back, she added, “I just needed to scare the shit out of you so you’d see reason.”
Fitz’s mouth curled up on the sides at the same time as her own. Then a snort slipped past his lips before a chuckle rumbled up from his chest and rolled out. Zuly squealed as he pulled her to the floor, the both of them landing in a tangle with her on top of his outstretched body.
He ran his fingers down her sides. “That was mean, Z. Really mean.”
She gasped for breath,
Inevitably guilt from breaking his promise began to gnaw at him. Guilt from his family’s pain. Guilt from the look on Zuly’s face when he left her. What could he do but call? He should’ve known she’d come. She always came.
“You may want to shower,” Zuly suggested mildly as she stood and set down that magazine. “Housekeeping brought by fresh toiletries, and room service should be up with dinner in a bit.” Walking past him as though he weren’t there, she grabbed her jacket and bag. “Ordered something light for you since I wasn’t exactly sure what your stomach may or may not be able to handle.”
She reached the door, opening it, and Fitz moved as fast as possible to close it, pinning her between himself and the heavy wood. “Stay.” It wasn’t a request. Couldn’t have even been called a plea. But something instinctively told him that if he let Zuly walk away from him again, things would change forever in a way that would break his already fractured spirit.
“Give me a reason,” she whispered. “Give me a good reason.”
He dropped his forehead to her hair and did something he swore he would never do. Fitz admitted the truth. “I need you.”
Silence.
“I need you, Zuly. I can’t help but to feel like something precious is slipping through my fingers right now, and I’m trying to grasp it so if you love me at all–”
“ If I love you?”
So that had been the wrong thing to say if the low growl that left her was any indication.
“Fitzgerald Carrigan, I stand on the rock of my Lord and Savior when I say I am keeping my composure by a miniscule thread, baby,” Zuly continued. “A thread so thin the Fates would only have to pluck it to watch it break.”
A reaction. He was getting a reaction. Good.
“Love, I am more than willing to take total and complete responsibility for that. I am more than willing to say I am one fucked-up individual right now and that I owe not only my brothers but also my parents and you an apology. But what I’m not more than willing to do is sit back and allow you to walk out this door. My heart can’t take that, Z. So this is me—” He backed away from her, lowering himself onto his good knee “— begging you to give a dying man another chance. I fully acknowledge that I need help. I need a counselor. I need you. If you step away from me...I really don’t know how I’ll be able to fix this.” When she slowly turned, he wrapped his arms around her torso and pressed his face to the soft warmth of her belly, remembering the feel of her in his arms right before he’d drifted off into his first dreamless sleep in months. “Don’t leave me,” Fitz murmured.
They’d stood there like that for what felt like hours when gentle hands finally combed through his hair, nails raking against his scalp in a comforting caress that sent a shiver down his spine.
“I wasn’t leaving you, Fitz,” Zuly murmured back. “It’s impossible for me to leave you, in case you haven’t noticed yet.” She cupped his face, making him stare up at her. Brushing his locks back, she added, “I just needed to scare the shit out of you so you’d see reason.”
Fitz’s mouth curled up on the sides at the same time as her own. Then a snort slipped past his lips before a chuckle rumbled up from his chest and rolled out. Zuly squealed as he pulled her to the floor, the both of them landing in a tangle with her on top of his outstretched body.
He ran his fingers down her sides. “That was mean, Z. Really mean.”
She gasped for breath,
Similar Books
