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Authors: Terri Nixon
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later.
‘Evangeline,’ she said, sitting down at my dressing table without being asked. I felt my stomach turn over nervously; she never came to my rooms unless it was something serious, the last time had been the day the diamond had gone missing.
‘If this is about David –’
‘Darling, I understand. I do. It can’t be easy for you.’
‘Easy?’
‘But you mustn’t worry. If you didn’t actually…if he didn’t…’
‘Didn’t what?’ I knew, of course. I just wanted to see how much David had told her.
‘If you were both still fully clothed,’ she said in a rush, her face looking as hot as mine felt.
I chose to misunderstand, just in case. ‘Why would either David or myself be otherwise?’
‘Not David!’ Mother tensed further as she realised she’d have to explain. ‘The other young man. Were you both dressed when David found you?’
Relief welled up, and the dark thoughts about how she would react were swept aside. ‘We were,’ I said. ‘Nothing happened, and I’m very very happy.’
She looked a little surprised at my sudden change in temperament, but she smiled. ‘Then so am I.’
I bent to put my arms around her, and when she hugged me in return all the years fell away, and I was a little girl again and my mother loved me even though I was such an effort for her. I felt horrible for assuming she would rather see me unhappy than wed to the man I loved.
‘You should have told me,’ she said, her voice muffled against my shoulder. ‘I wanted you to tell me yourself, and waited for it. I’m so sad you felt you couldn’t.’
‘I didn’t think you’d understand,’ I confessed. ‘It was hard to know where to begin.’
‘Of course I understand, darling, you mustn’t feel at fault. Now, what did he look like?’
I stepped back, with the prickling suspicion that all was not well after all. ‘What did who look like?’
‘David would only describe him as a thuggish sort of a man, with messy hair and a fierce look in his eyes. Blue eyes, he says, which may help but not much. I gather there was quite a struggle so he might be bruised as well. We must call Inspector Bailey of course. And you’re to stop riding out alone.’
I couldn’t speak. Quite aside from the exaggeration about Will’s appearance, and the “struggle”, I couldn’t believe David had told that story after all, it would achieve nothing. Was it simply revenge?
‘Mother, what David told you is a lie,’ I said at last.
‘I beg your pardon?’ It was only then that I saw she had been battling her own emotions, and there were tears in her eyes for my presumed suffering. I could have wept myself; the one time we had found a kind of bond in far too long, and now I must shatter it again. I felt a fleeting urge to allow her mistaken belief to continue, just to maintain that bond, but it wasn’t fair on Will.
‘I wasn’t being attacked,’ I said, ‘I was lying down with…with a man. We
were
dressed,’ I added quickly, as the colour drained from her face. ‘We were kissing. But that’s all we were doing. I promise, it was nothing more –’
‘Who was it?’ Her voice was flat, and my own anger kindled.
‘It doesn’t matter. It’s someone who makes me happy and who loves me as much as I love him. But he’s not of “our class”, so I already know what you’re going to say.’
‘Who?’ she repeated.
‘I’m not going to tell you,’ I said, trying to sound stubborn, but instead I heard pleading in my tone. ‘Mother, I don’t want to upset you, but –’
‘Upset me?’ She rose, smoothing down her skirts with shaking hands. ‘I don’t know what makes you think you can upset me now. Letting your maid steal our family’s fortune, your own birthright,
that
upset me. This?’ She gestured blithely, but her jaw was tight. ‘This is nothing. It will pass.’ But she paused at the door, and her tone softened a little. ‘I assume he’s a handsome boy?’
Man
, I wanted to say, but
‘Evangeline,’ she said, sitting down at my dressing table without being asked. I felt my stomach turn over nervously; she never came to my rooms unless it was something serious, the last time had been the day the diamond had gone missing.
‘If this is about David –’
‘Darling, I understand. I do. It can’t be easy for you.’
‘Easy?’
‘But you mustn’t worry. If you didn’t actually…if he didn’t…’
‘Didn’t what?’ I knew, of course. I just wanted to see how much David had told her.
‘If you were both still fully clothed,’ she said in a rush, her face looking as hot as mine felt.
I chose to misunderstand, just in case. ‘Why would either David or myself be otherwise?’
‘Not David!’ Mother tensed further as she realised she’d have to explain. ‘The other young man. Were you both dressed when David found you?’
Relief welled up, and the dark thoughts about how she would react were swept aside. ‘We were,’ I said. ‘Nothing happened, and I’m very very happy.’
She looked a little surprised at my sudden change in temperament, but she smiled. ‘Then so am I.’
I bent to put my arms around her, and when she hugged me in return all the years fell away, and I was a little girl again and my mother loved me even though I was such an effort for her. I felt horrible for assuming she would rather see me unhappy than wed to the man I loved.
‘You should have told me,’ she said, her voice muffled against my shoulder. ‘I wanted you to tell me yourself, and waited for it. I’m so sad you felt you couldn’t.’
‘I didn’t think you’d understand,’ I confessed. ‘It was hard to know where to begin.’
‘Of course I understand, darling, you mustn’t feel at fault. Now, what did he look like?’
I stepped back, with the prickling suspicion that all was not well after all. ‘What did who look like?’
‘David would only describe him as a thuggish sort of a man, with messy hair and a fierce look in his eyes. Blue eyes, he says, which may help but not much. I gather there was quite a struggle so he might be bruised as well. We must call Inspector Bailey of course. And you’re to stop riding out alone.’
I couldn’t speak. Quite aside from the exaggeration about Will’s appearance, and the “struggle”, I couldn’t believe David had told that story after all, it would achieve nothing. Was it simply revenge?
‘Mother, what David told you is a lie,’ I said at last.
‘I beg your pardon?’ It was only then that I saw she had been battling her own emotions, and there were tears in her eyes for my presumed suffering. I could have wept myself; the one time we had found a kind of bond in far too long, and now I must shatter it again. I felt a fleeting urge to allow her mistaken belief to continue, just to maintain that bond, but it wasn’t fair on Will.
‘I wasn’t being attacked,’ I said, ‘I was lying down with…with a man. We
were
dressed,’ I added quickly, as the colour drained from her face. ‘We were kissing. But that’s all we were doing. I promise, it was nothing more –’
‘Who was it?’ Her voice was flat, and my own anger kindled.
‘It doesn’t matter. It’s someone who makes me happy and who loves me as much as I love him. But he’s not of “our class”, so I already know what you’re going to say.’
‘Who?’ she repeated.
‘I’m not going to tell you,’ I said, trying to sound stubborn, but instead I heard pleading in my tone. ‘Mother, I don’t want to upset you, but –’
‘Upset me?’ She rose, smoothing down her skirts with shaking hands. ‘I don’t know what makes you think you can upset me now. Letting your maid steal our family’s fortune, your own birthright,
that
upset me. This?’ She gestured blithely, but her jaw was tight. ‘This is nothing. It will pass.’ But she paused at the door, and her tone softened a little. ‘I assume he’s a handsome boy?’
Man
, I wanted to say, but
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