the cell off.
“I don’t want to take you away from you friends,” Mike says, as I settle on the couch next to him.
“I do,” I say, as I move in and kiss him for the first time this evening. The kiss is sweet, erotic, and full of promise. “I was afraid I had scared you off when you didn’t call.”
“I don’t scare easily,” Mike says looking into my eyes. “But, Daisy, we have to talk.”
I can feel the blood drain out of my face. Now, it makes sense. The flowers, the unexpected visit, the need to return to the base tonight. I steel myself for what is to come and promise myself I won’t cry, at least not in front of him. “Okay,” I say quietly. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Us.”
“What about us?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up. I want to be with you all the time, to hold you, to make love to you. But…”
“But what?” I ask, when Mike doesn’t continue.
“But…I can’t see how this will work. I’m stationed at Bragg, you’re here. I will be leaving in just a few weeks. Even while I’m here, I can’t see you that often. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to leave you either.”
I struggle to hold my tears. “Are you dropping me?” I ask quietly.
“I don’t want to, but maybe that’s for the best, before we get in too deep.”
I swallow hard. “Is that what you want? To leave?”
“No.”
“Then, don’t. Mike, I feel the same way about you. I don’t understand it, but I want you with me. I talked to Beverly about how I feel and you know what she told me? She said to enjoy our time together. If it doesn’t work out, then at least we will have this time. I think it’s sound advice.”
Mike looks just miserable. “Easier said than done.”
“Mike, look at me,” I say. “I enjoy our time together enough that I’m willing to risk a little pain. I want to be with you for what time you can spare. You’re right. It may not work out; but, these past two weeks have been some of the happiest times I’ve had since my parents died. Don’t take that away from me to try to protect me. Please.”
Mike stares into my eyes for a long time. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve hurt enough people already.”
The moment Mike speaks the words; I understand what he is doing. “Mike, even if this doesn’t work out, I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything. Please, don’t do this to me. Don’t do it to yourself. You’re a good man and what happened wasn’t your fault. If this doesn’t work out, it’s not your fault, either; but, if this is something special, please give it a chance to grow. You can’t always protect people from hurt. Sometimes you have to let go of your past in order to grab your future.”
My own words hit me like a hammer blow. Mike and I are the same. We are clinging to our pasts, afraid to let go. We have both lost our family and we haven’t been able to move past that. But Mike, unintentionally, has shown me what my future could be. I blubber once as realization hits me. I want Mike. I want him to become my family and I want to become his. I only need to let go of the past and embrace the future.
“Mike,” I begin, deciding to come clean with him. “I don’t love you; but, you are becoming special to me. I dream of your touch and of having you at my side. As you said, you are the last thing I think of each night and the first thing I think of each morning. If you feel the same, don’t take that away from us. Please. Give us some time. If we want to, we can make this work. I know we can.”
“But how? We live five or six hundred miles from each other. I can be deployed at a moment’s notice. What kind of life is that for you? For us?”
“I don’t know. Maybe no life at all. But maybe
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