Read Online A New Dream [Dreams: 1] by Alex C. Clarke - Free Book Online Page B

with Suzanne for so long, he had forgotten who he had been with in his life before her. He closed his eyes, letting the unwanted memories resurface.
    He had spent his years at Uni in a continuous swirl, working crazy hours a day whether he was in any of the auditoriums or at the library. He had a night job in a restaurant to help him pay the tuition. A precise memory popped up in his mind, Julien.
    Julien was the son of his boss ―a stunning beauty with dirty blond hair, a soft baby face and huge doe eyes. They had often exchanged stolen glances but never more than that. And, suddenly, it hit him.
    Alone in his room, feeling a little sick, he remembered. Other boys. Other men. Other stolen glances. David was horrified. How could he have forgotten? How could he have buried these memories so deep they would come back only now, after all these years? He had heard of traumatizing experiences that could lead to partial loss of memory. But he couldn’t point out an event which would have forced his brain to shut everything down and bury the memories to protect his sanity. He had never lived through anything violent…well, except for the car crash that had killed his dear wife.
    But…if I had blotted out my past, it would have been before even meeting my Suzie. Maybe…maybe I didn’t need a shock to do it. Maybe I forced myself to forget. Was it too painful?
    He had been raised by kind but busy people. His parents held a bar and restaurant and didn’t always have time for him. He had hung out a lot in there just to spend time with them. That was how he had heard the patrons’ conversations. The TV was always on, broadcasting MTV’s music videos or international news channels. Customers would pick on a subject and discuss it for hours. Their comments about these “fucking fag presenters” or the “queer fashion season” didn’t do anything to make him comfortable talking about the beauty of the guys in question.
    One day a young hairdresser moved to the village. Arnaud, if David remembered correctly. He was young, lean ―his muscles long under his tan― and he bore a few tattoos, when it wasn't all that fashionable. You would probably call him a twink, these days. He was a beauty and a very nice guy. But at the time, in a small village, they didn’t like strangers. And even less a stranger who was so blatantly gay.
    They didn’t need a cute young thing like him to make them face their homophobia and they tried to make him understand. But Arnaud, the sweet guy, wouldn’t quit. He wouldn’t leave the life he was trying to build. He wouldn’t give up his personality or his manners and, one day, he vanished. Nobody wanted to talk about it, especially a group of hunters who were regulars in David’s parents’ bar. He had absolutely no proof, but David was convinced they had something to do with the young man's disappearance.
    So, maybe, there was a traumatizing event that caused him to forget the attraction he felt toward men. At the time, he hadn’t been so shocked, just worried about this nice boy, wondering what could have happened to him. But his subconscious had been scared. He had tried to ignore the beauty of men and when he met Suzanne during their last year at Uni, he knew she was his safety net. They had become closer when they had begun to work together and their life was made before they grew conscious of it.
    And now, here he was. His wife gone. His kids grown up. And nothing but freedom ahead of him.
    Hello. My name is David, I’m 39. I am free. And I am gay.
    It felt odd. He couldn’t help wondering if he was truly gay and, more importantly, if he just had to say it out loud to accept it. Or did he have to act on it to make it feel more real?
    Well, it’s not by resting all day long in bed that you will find out about that! He chastised himself.
    And now he was talking to himself again. He sighed inwardly. He needed to get going. He decided to root out the evil and have a talk with James as soon as