Read Online A Matter of Heart by Heather Lyons - Free Book Online Page A

actually has to be around me. Which isn’t
     something you are mature enough to do.”
    Now he laughs. “Is that the
     problem? I’m not being mature enough for you?”
    “Let’s see.” I pretend to
     consider this. “ No .”
    I’m scrutinized before he
     lets out another laugh. “Wow. You actually believe that.”
    I cross my arms and lift an
     eyebrow of my own. Despite Caleb’s very vocal censure, I let my body and soul
     fill with all of the toxic sensations of just how much Kellan’s let me down
     this last year.
    It hits home, just like I
     knew it would. Kellan’s eyes narrow; his lean frame tightens with barely
     controlled anger. “You think I’m an asshat? How about this: you’re a
     bitch.”
    This might’ve once made me
     cry, but I’m reveling in the fact he’s losing his perfect control. “That’s
     probably true.”
    A step brings him so close
     his hot breath hits my cheek. “It’s always all about you, isn’t it? What Chloe
     wants. What Chloe needs. You never stop to think about what other people want
     or need, do you?”
    I lob another of his words
     at him. “ Whatever .”
    He surprises me by
     immediately cutting to the heart of the matter. “Have you ever stopped to think
     why I keep my distance?”
    All the time, I think,
     before my self-righteous anger slaps back the rising guilt.
    My neck cranes to look up at
     him. He’s trembling, he’s so angry. “Or stop to consider that Jonah might be
     listening to all of this insane bullshit you’re spewing right now?”
    Okay. That gives me pause,
     not to mention alarm.
    “That he can see right
     through your tantrum and know, just as easily as I, why you’re actually doing
     all of this?”
    My heart does a funny
     stutter. “Is he?”
    “Oh, so it’s alright to put
     the brakes on if Jonah’s listening, but otherwise, it’s okay to torture me,
     huh?”
    I don’t need Caleb to tell
     me to retreat. I’ve crossed too many lines here, and I’m well aware of it. I
     physically take a step back. “Kellan, I—”
    “You, what ?” He
     closes the gap I just created. “You’re sorry ? I already know you are.
     You’re upset over me keeping my distance? I already know that, too.”
    “You chose to stay away,” I
     manage to whisper over the screaming outside.
    And then he says, “You’re
     engaged to my brother.”
    And my heart breaks.
    “I am trying .”
     There’s no more indifference, no remnants of boredom. He is all wild anger now.
     “Do you know how hard it’s been for me, what it’s been like to actually act
     upon what’s best for you and my brother, rather than myself?” I open my mouth,
     but he cuts me off immediately. “No, of course you don’t. You’re only thinking
     about yourself, about your hurt feelings. Gods forbid you actually take a
     moment to consider mine .”
    The cave spins around me. I
     want to reach out and grab something, to steady myself against his attack, but
     there’s nothing, no one nearby but him.
    “I am trying to do the
     mature thing here.” His words crack just as surely as his carefully constructed
     façade. “And yet, it’s still not good enough for you. So maybe you ought to
     just tell me how I ought to act, since I’m clearly doing it wrong.”
    I merely stare up at him in
     delicate wonder. No words surface. Because he’s absolutely right on every
     account.
    An unbearable tension
     surrounds us, so thick I just know I could touch it if I let my fingers trail
     through the air in the sliver of space between our bodies. It’s hard to get a
     proper breath, especially since my heart is hammering so loud that he must hear
     it over the screaming.
    Don’t do it ,
     Caleb whispers.
    Kellan’s chest rises and
     falls rapidly. He’s angry, and hurt, and his heart must be slamming around,
     too, because I can see it, actually see it thumping beneath his shirt. My hand
     moves on its own and hovers over that spot, so close I can imagine exactly how