Read Online A Man to Hold on to (A Tallgrass Novel) by Marilyn Pappano - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Marilyn Pappano
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phone vibrate with her disapproval? “This child shouldn’t be raised by grandparents.”
“You’re raising her.”
“I’m helping out. She needs parents young enough to do things with her, to have fun with her, who won’t be on Social Security before she even gets out of grade school. She needs a regular family.”
“And we’re not it.” Immediately he regretted the words, the tone. She loved Mariah and considered her family even if he didn’t.
Before he could apologize, Ercella stiffly said, “According to the State of Louisiana, we are. You’re listed as father on her birth certificate. You’ve got custody of her. She’s your legal responsibility even if she isn’t your daughter.”
“And I’m trying to do what’s best for her—find her real family. Mom, I warned you…” The day he’d asked for her help, he’d stressed it would be temporary. Not to get too attached. That he intended to find Mariah’s father and turn her over to him.
But telling Ercella Logan not to get attached to a kid who needed her was like telling the fish in Saline Lake not to rely too much on the water they lived in. She’d known it. He’d known it.
“I know.” She sounded weary, and fairly so. They’d had this conversation too many times before. “I just wish…”
That Mariah was his daughter. Her granddaughter.
There had been a moment, back when Sabrina broke the news that she was pregnant, that he’d wanted it, too. He hadn’t been looking to become a father, not yet, though he’d always figured he would. They’d had a solid relationship. They’d had fun together. Good times, good sex, a good commitment.
In that moment, he had thought they’d get married—his mother would’ve had his hide if they hadn’t—and by the time the baby was born, he would have been ready for fatherhood.
Then, less than five minutes later, she’d blown that thought out of his mind.
I’m six weeks along, Keegan. You’re not the father.
Again he removed his sunglasses and pinched his nose. It had taken him some time to understand what she’d meant. The concept of infidelity was familiar, of course. His father had run around on his mom, and the first man his sister had fallen in love with had slept with her best friends—three of them. They’d both had their hearts broken, and he had learned the real meaning of commitment.
I met this man while you were gone. He’s a major. He’s the father.
Too bad Sabrina hadn’t shared his idea of commitment.
Ercella’s sigh was as heavy as the Louisiana air. “Your food’s getting cold. Go ahead and eat, and call me when you decide what you’re going to do. I’ll give Mariah a hug and a kiss for you.”
He thought of the hug Mariah had given him yesterday, the first time she’d touched him, how soft and warm and foreign it had felt. Those pudgy little arms wrapped around his neck, that sweet baby girl smell of her, the overwhelming sense of obligation to her.
“You do that, Mom,” he said quietly. “I love you.”
Grimly he disconnected and reached for the paper bag that held his late lunch or early dinner or whatever the hell it was. God, he just wanted life to go back to normal.
Somehow he didn’t think that was going to happen.
Chapter 4
T he cookies had been banished back to the kitchen, what was left of them, and their glasses were empty when Therese finally broached the subject of her visitor that afternoon. “Something kind of awkward happened earlier. A man came to the house looking for Paul. Abby answered the door and bellowed at me, then stormed upstairs and left him standing there. By the time I got to the door, he was looking mortified.”
Carly’s forehead wrinkled sympathetically. “He saw the Gold Star flag.”
Therese nodded. “He was…Shocked wouldn’t be understating it. Then he felt bad, and I felt bad, and after we talked a few minutes, he left.”
Carly stared down into her glass for a moment, clinking the last bits of ice,
“You’re raising her.”
“I’m helping out. She needs parents young enough to do things with her, to have fun with her, who won’t be on Social Security before she even gets out of grade school. She needs a regular family.”
“And we’re not it.” Immediately he regretted the words, the tone. She loved Mariah and considered her family even if he didn’t.
Before he could apologize, Ercella stiffly said, “According to the State of Louisiana, we are. You’re listed as father on her birth certificate. You’ve got custody of her. She’s your legal responsibility even if she isn’t your daughter.”
“And I’m trying to do what’s best for her—find her real family. Mom, I warned you…” The day he’d asked for her help, he’d stressed it would be temporary. Not to get too attached. That he intended to find Mariah’s father and turn her over to him.
But telling Ercella Logan not to get attached to a kid who needed her was like telling the fish in Saline Lake not to rely too much on the water they lived in. She’d known it. He’d known it.
“I know.” She sounded weary, and fairly so. They’d had this conversation too many times before. “I just wish…”
That Mariah was his daughter. Her granddaughter.
There had been a moment, back when Sabrina broke the news that she was pregnant, that he’d wanted it, too. He hadn’t been looking to become a father, not yet, though he’d always figured he would. They’d had a solid relationship. They’d had fun together. Good times, good sex, a good commitment.
In that moment, he had thought they’d get married—his mother would’ve had his hide if they hadn’t—and by the time the baby was born, he would have been ready for fatherhood.
Then, less than five minutes later, she’d blown that thought out of his mind.
I’m six weeks along, Keegan. You’re not the father.
Again he removed his sunglasses and pinched his nose. It had taken him some time to understand what she’d meant. The concept of infidelity was familiar, of course. His father had run around on his mom, and the first man his sister had fallen in love with had slept with her best friends—three of them. They’d both had their hearts broken, and he had learned the real meaning of commitment.
I met this man while you were gone. He’s a major. He’s the father.
Too bad Sabrina hadn’t shared his idea of commitment.
Ercella’s sigh was as heavy as the Louisiana air. “Your food’s getting cold. Go ahead and eat, and call me when you decide what you’re going to do. I’ll give Mariah a hug and a kiss for you.”
He thought of the hug Mariah had given him yesterday, the first time she’d touched him, how soft and warm and foreign it had felt. Those pudgy little arms wrapped around his neck, that sweet baby girl smell of her, the overwhelming sense of obligation to her.
“You do that, Mom,” he said quietly. “I love you.”
Grimly he disconnected and reached for the paper bag that held his late lunch or early dinner or whatever the hell it was. God, he just wanted life to go back to normal.
Somehow he didn’t think that was going to happen.
Chapter 4
T he cookies had been banished back to the kitchen, what was left of them, and their glasses were empty when Therese finally broached the subject of her visitor that afternoon. “Something kind of awkward happened earlier. A man came to the house looking for Paul. Abby answered the door and bellowed at me, then stormed upstairs and left him standing there. By the time I got to the door, he was looking mortified.”
Carly’s forehead wrinkled sympathetically. “He saw the Gold Star flag.”
Therese nodded. “He was…Shocked wouldn’t be understating it. Then he felt bad, and I felt bad, and after we talked a few minutes, he left.”
Carly stared down into her glass for a moment, clinking the last bits of ice,
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