Read Online A Lover's Secret by Bethany Bloom - Free Book Online

away. No flowers were better than dying
flowers. She had always thought this. Her parents had always disagreed. The sweetness
they released now was spoiled. It was a scent of slow, inevitable death. Of
stagnation and decay. And the lilies that they always put in the basement,
these were the worst. Jess felt as though the smell might actually crush her.
    Then a thought. She sat straight up. She could change
everything. Right now. With a simple phone call.
    No. That’s what Jake expected her to do. She couldn’t give
him the satisfaction. Besides, he’d no doubt be busy with Kelly’s sister. That
tall blonde, the sight of who, in her tight, mint green dress, had made Jess
feel frumpy and small. She imagined Jake looming over the top of her now. What
was it that Monica had said? That Kelly’s sister was his “flavor.”
    Jess plunked back against her mattress, and Grandma stirred.
She held her breath for a moment and stared off into the darkness. The only
light in the room was from the power button on Grandma’s humidifier,
illuminating everything with a bluish glow.
    It was so still. So suffocating. Jess was seized by a sudden
but benign energy—an urge to leap out of the bed. To tear the old posters off
the walls and to shout at the top of her lungs. To cry and to scream and to rip
at her hair. To dump the vases of old rotting flowers onto the floor. To
destroy everyone’s arbitrary and nonsensical expectations of her. Of course,
she did none of these things, but she yearned for something to happen. Anything.
    She sat again. If Jake was in bed with that woman, then he
wouldn’t answer his phone, and she could leave a message. A simple message. She
could tell him that she had read his little book and that she just wasn’t
interested. And that would close the “Jake Lassiter” chapter of her life. She
could fold his memory tight, once and for all, and she could place it in her
tidy mental filing cabinet and she could move on. This, she was sure, would
make the fantasies stop. She certainly hadn’t asked for these lusty images,
which kept bobbing through her awareness at odd and unwelcome times. And when
Jake called her back, if he called her back, she simply wouldn’t answer.
And that would be that. Jess would start taking control of things again.
    She grabbed for her phone. Rushing, now, so she wouldn’t
change her mind. She leapt toward the corner of the room, as far as she could
get from her elderly roommate, and she sunk down low, buffeted by both walls,
until her knees were in line with her face, and she dialed the number. The
number she had inadvertently memorized while staring at the business card and
cooking dinner for she and Grandma hours before.
    Her heart pounded. What was she doing? She should hang up.
But it was too late now. Her number would appear on his list of recent calls.
Two rings. Three. When would his voicemail pick up? Her head felt like it might
explode. The deep shaking had returned.
    “Hello?” His voice was sleepy. “Jess?”

Three
    Jess
     “Did I… wake you?” Jess asked, whispering. She was huddled
in the corner, hugging her knees. Across the room, Grandma had rolled onto her
side and let escape a soft moan.
    Jake’s tone was baritone and gravely. Sleepy. She imagined
what he must look like. Hair pushed down on one side. Face puffy and wrinkled
with sleep. “Yeah, yeah,” he answered, clearing his throat. “But no, it’s okay.
Just, hold on a sec. I’ve got to get my bearings. Or something.” She heard
rustling on the other end of the line and then his voice took on a softer tone.
“Jess, I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you.”
    She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed deeply, trying to
calm the wild beating of her heart. She wasn’t sure what to say next. “I guess
I didn’t think you’d answer,” she managed, finally.
    “So you called to not talk to me?” he asked.
    “I guess. Sort of,” she said. “I just… well… I thought you
went home