Read Online A Life Less Ordinary by Christopher Nuttall - Free Book Online

asked, astonished. “Why are they just abandoned?”
    “Like I said, most people don’t trust elves,” Master Revels said. “You cannot trust them, ever.”
    “But why can’t you trust them?” I asked. I knew that I was pushing it, but I wanted to know why elves were so untrustworthy, even half-elves. “What is wrong with them?”
    Master Revels sighed. “Have you ever felt the urge to murder someone, or to do something you really shouldn’t do?”
    “Yes,” I said, puzzled. A long time ago, I had fought the temptation to push one of my playmates off a wall after we’d been arguing over whose turn it was to have the CD we’d bought by combining our funds. I couldn’t even remember the band’s name now. “Why...?”
    “Elves are creatures of pure impulse,” Master Revels explained. “If an elf thought that it would be funny to tear you into a thousand bloody chunks he would do it – instantly. Think about how many times humans have powerful impulses – to kill, to rape, to steal – and multiply it a million times over. That is an elf and your half-blood friend will have inherited those impulses and the power from his father. You might go out on a date with him and halfway through he decides that turning you into a statue would be hilarious, or worse.”
    “Oh,” I said. “And is there no way to stop them?”
    “If you want to stop them from doing something, you have to make them swear by their names not to do it,” Master Revels said, reluctantly. I got the feeling that he knew I was considering accepting the offer of a date. “And you have to be careful. They’re very good at spotting loopholes and jumping right through them. Their names are the only thing they regard as sacred.”
    I said nothing for the remainder of the walk, thinking hard. It hadn’t really dawned on me that magical creatures would have their own rules and laws. I’d known people from many different cultural backgrounds in school and I’d had problems understanding them...and they had been human. We had shared the same biology. How different might an elf be to a human, or a dragon, or a werewolf, or...who knew how many childish monsters truly existed in the magical world? There could be everything from ghosts and demons to monsters under the bed.
    “Here we are,” Master Revels said, finally. I looked up in surprise. We were standing in front of a police station. I’d only ever been in a police station once and that was after I had been arrested for underage drinking, along with several of my friends. There were no charges, thankfully, but it had still been an alarming experience. “Just keep your mouth shut and follow me.”
    He waved a hand, casting a glamour-spell of his own, and then he pushed the door open, walking right into the station. I followed him, and then stopped dead. The police station was populated by ghosts. I saw a man holding a chainsaw, his hands dripping with blood, leering towards a policewoman at the desk. There was a girl with Asian features, her hands cuffed in front of her, staring down at the floor as if she were trapped in a nightmare she couldn’t escape. There was an older man who cast a very long and dark shadow. I shuddered as the ghosts turned to look at me, their cold eyes seeming to dig into my very soul, before I managed to start walking again. Three policemen nodded to me as they emerged from the rear of the building and headed out onto the streets, one of them followed by four ghosts who seemed to be constantly attacking him. I didn’t want to know what that meant.
    “Detective-Inspector John Smith,” Master Revels was saying, as I came up behind him. “This is my assistant, Penelope Creighton-Ward. I believe that you have a set of files reserved for us?”
    The policewoman didn’t look surprised by the request. Perhaps she’d seen it all before, or perhaps it was the fact that she was clearly tired and nearing the end of her shift. She would have been pretty, were it not for