following Thursday he was on a plane to Port of Spain. At first he was unsettled by the tropical landscape, the intense heat, the chaos of Trinidad. He was lonely; he felt like an outsider. He called Miriam every day.
Then, slowly, he got used to being alone, and he began to realise that leaving England offered him a kind of relief. Since losing Beth, theyâd existed in a permanent state of grief, as if the colour had gone from their lives. Trinidad gave him an escape; no one need know about his past, of his enormous loss. Here he was a free man, and this sense of freedom made him more confident, somehow; unfettered, alive. He rediscovered his sense of humour; people found him quick-witted, dynamic, a can-do man. After the incident of the eleven-year-old boy,heâd felt different. He started to believe in himself again:
There is nothing you cannot do
. This is the side he showed to Safiya. He never expected to fall in love.
He sets the kitchen table and fills a jug of water; he presses a button on the fridge and ice tumbles out. This Electrolux fridge would be perfect for his kitchen in Trinidad. He will ask Safiya where he might be able to pick one up. Sheâd be pleased to know that he is thinking of buying a fridge. He checks his mobile phone. There is a message from Juliet telling him that she will send the new contract, and to enjoy his family holiday. Good, he is glad. Juliet read his mind.
He notices how quiet it is, much quieter than Trinidad. In his apartment, he can often hear the television next door, or people talking, the dull thrum of traffic from the highway. Here, they seem far from anywhere and anyone, which is exactly what heâd wanted. In a hotel, thereâd be no escaping Miriam. No room to think. He had told Juliet he wanted a villa with at least three bedrooms and preferably a sea view; a taste of authentic Tobago life.
From the window, he can see beyond the pool of soft kitchen light, the vast lawn, and tall security lamps at the end of the garden where the high chickenwire fence begins. Yes, he thinks, this will more than do.
Miriam and Georgia drift into the kitchen, pale and tired and still in their travelling clothes. They sit on the high chairs and start on the sandwiches.
âIâm dying for some tropical fruit,â Miriam says, picking through the sauce, and he knows she doesnât approve of tinnedsausages. âIs there anything particular in season right now? I remember when you first arrived mangoes were coming out of your ears. You were eating two or three a day.â
âIâm sure weâll be able to pick up fruit. Bananas, oranges, theyâre all year round.â
In England, every morning, Miriam made his sandwiches and in a small Tupperware box came an assortment of fruit, the total of which would amount to his five a day. If he came home with leftovers, she complained. It is on the tip of his tongue to tell her about the high rates of diabetes, heart disease and cancer in Trinidad. Most people hardly eat fruit; vegetables are often heavily seasoned with pepper and cooked in oil. There is no five a day.
He would also like to tell Miriam how much he has grown to like hot and spicy Kentucky Fried Chicken and French fries. And how he enjoys the Hawaiian cheeseburgers from Burger Bar on Maraval Road.
They clear the table and he can see they are exhausted. âItâs three oâclock in the morning for us now,â says Georgia. She kisses him on his cheek and goes off to her room. He tells Miriam that he will wash up, and lock up. There are electric metal shutters in the living room which he must remember to draw down every night. Terence has shown him how to operate them. He will see her in a minute.
By the time he comes to bed, Miriam is asleep, her bedside light still on, her mouth slightly open, and she is breathing deeply. He moves silently around the room, taking off his clothes and placing them quietly on the chair. He does
Then, slowly, he got used to being alone, and he began to realise that leaving England offered him a kind of relief. Since losing Beth, theyâd existed in a permanent state of grief, as if the colour had gone from their lives. Trinidad gave him an escape; no one need know about his past, of his enormous loss. Here he was a free man, and this sense of freedom made him more confident, somehow; unfettered, alive. He rediscovered his sense of humour; people found him quick-witted, dynamic, a can-do man. After the incident of the eleven-year-old boy,heâd felt different. He started to believe in himself again:
There is nothing you cannot do
. This is the side he showed to Safiya. He never expected to fall in love.
He sets the kitchen table and fills a jug of water; he presses a button on the fridge and ice tumbles out. This Electrolux fridge would be perfect for his kitchen in Trinidad. He will ask Safiya where he might be able to pick one up. Sheâd be pleased to know that he is thinking of buying a fridge. He checks his mobile phone. There is a message from Juliet telling him that she will send the new contract, and to enjoy his family holiday. Good, he is glad. Juliet read his mind.
He notices how quiet it is, much quieter than Trinidad. In his apartment, he can often hear the television next door, or people talking, the dull thrum of traffic from the highway. Here, they seem far from anywhere and anyone, which is exactly what heâd wanted. In a hotel, thereâd be no escaping Miriam. No room to think. He had told Juliet he wanted a villa with at least three bedrooms and preferably a sea view; a taste of authentic Tobago life.
From the window, he can see beyond the pool of soft kitchen light, the vast lawn, and tall security lamps at the end of the garden where the high chickenwire fence begins. Yes, he thinks, this will more than do.
Miriam and Georgia drift into the kitchen, pale and tired and still in their travelling clothes. They sit on the high chairs and start on the sandwiches.
âIâm dying for some tropical fruit,â Miriam says, picking through the sauce, and he knows she doesnât approve of tinnedsausages. âIs there anything particular in season right now? I remember when you first arrived mangoes were coming out of your ears. You were eating two or three a day.â
âIâm sure weâll be able to pick up fruit. Bananas, oranges, theyâre all year round.â
In England, every morning, Miriam made his sandwiches and in a small Tupperware box came an assortment of fruit, the total of which would amount to his five a day. If he came home with leftovers, she complained. It is on the tip of his tongue to tell her about the high rates of diabetes, heart disease and cancer in Trinidad. Most people hardly eat fruit; vegetables are often heavily seasoned with pepper and cooked in oil. There is no five a day.
He would also like to tell Miriam how much he has grown to like hot and spicy Kentucky Fried Chicken and French fries. And how he enjoys the Hawaiian cheeseburgers from Burger Bar on Maraval Road.
They clear the table and he can see they are exhausted. âItâs three oâclock in the morning for us now,â says Georgia. She kisses him on his cheek and goes off to her room. He tells Miriam that he will wash up, and lock up. There are electric metal shutters in the living room which he must remember to draw down every night. Terence has shown him how to operate them. He will see her in a minute.
By the time he comes to bed, Miriam is asleep, her bedside light still on, her mouth slightly open, and she is breathing deeply. He moves silently around the room, taking off his clothes and placing them quietly on the chair. He does
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