Read Online A Kestrel Rising by S A Laybourn - Free Book Online

same day had been brilliant on Ian’s hair when he’d walked away from her. She felt sick again and weakly pushed the medic away while she vomited and dropped to the ground. She clawed at the concrete and she welcomed the pain that her fingertips found.
    “Come on, love.” The medic helped her to her feet once more. “We’re nearly there now. The doctor will see to you.”
    Ilona wanted the pain back but she let the medic and Faith lead her to the infirmary. Perhaps the doctor would be able to sort something out, something that would take her out of the half-life she found herself wandering through.
    “She’s in shock.” The doctor had taken one look at her. “What happened?”
    “She had some bad news,” Faith said. “Her fiancé was killed today.”
    “That would do it.” The doctor took Ilona’s limp wrist in his hand. “Yes, it’s shock.” He let it drop back onto the white bed sheet and rose. “I’ll give her something. She needs to sleep and she needs to be left alone. There’s nothing anyone can say or do that will make her feel any better. At least, if she can sleep, she can have some respite.”
    “ACW Lowe, I’m going to give you something that should help you,” he said, gently. “Just take them and swallow them and, hopefully, you may find some comfort.”
    Ilona complied. If she could not have raw, physical pain, then some comfort would help. She rested against the pillow. The linen was stiff and cool against her burning skin.
    The pills quickly found their way into her own darkness and sleep took her somewhere else.
     
    * * * *
     
    When Ilona woke, the ward was empty and a nurse sat at a desk in a pool of lamplight. She glanced up and smiled before rising. For a moment Ilona wondered why she was there, why her limbs felt heavy and why she didn’t want to move.
    “How are you?” The nurse perched on the edge of the bed.
    “I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. I don’t think I feel anything. Can that be right?”
    “We all have different ways of grieving,” the nurse said. “There are no right or wrong ways and when you’ve had such a dreadful shock, things can be delayed a bit.” She patted Ilona’s hand. “If it’s any comfort, there have been a few people here today asking after you.”
    “There have?”
    “Yes. Some of your fellow WAAFs, your night sergeant and, probably, most of your squadron.”
    “Really?”
    “You have a lot of friends, ACW Lowe.”
    It was a surprise and some comfort to know that people wanted to know how she was. Ilona wondered if the sedatives were still working because she felt far removed from any emotion, apart from weariness. She plucked at the bed sheet. “I think I want to go home.”
    “I know. I think they’re sorting that out. You’ll get compassionate leave.”
    “Will I come back here? I don’t think I could cope with that.”
    “I doubt that.” The nurse rose. “I’m sure your sergeant will be here soon and he’ll talk to you, if you’re up to seeing him.”
    “Yes, I’ll be fine,” Ilona replied. “I don’t think I can just sit here all day and stare at the walls. It would give me too much time to think. I don’t want to think at the moment.”
     
    * * * *
     
    Corporal Harris and Sergeant Flack sat awkwardly in the metal chairs beside her bed.
    “You’ve done a splendid job, ACW Lowe. You’re easily the best bus driver I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with.” Corporal Harris tugged at his collar.
    Ilona nodded and managed a weak smile. “Thank you, Corporal Harris, sir.”
    “You’ll be sent home on compassionate leave, but then I think you’ll already know that.” He looked down at his hands for a moment. “I understand that you wouldn’t want to resume working here, so we’ll arrange another posting for you.”
    “Thank you, sir. I’d appreciate that.” Speaking felt too difficult. Every word had to be considered, weighed, measured.
    Seeing Sergeant Flack was hard, because he brought