Read Online A Hole in My Heart by Rie Charles - Free Book Online

fat, are yah?” Does she like being mean? The last thing anyone could call me is fat, but I still flush.
    â€œI’m saving my money.” Why did I say that?
    â€œWhat for?”
    â€œTo go back to Penticton. I don’t like it here.” I should’ve said, to get away from you guys. Get away from the unending rain, rain, rain. Or, should’ve said we’re going on a holiday to France. Or Australia. Or England.
    Trudy’s eyes widen. “You’d go back to Penticton by yourself? What about your family?”
    â€œI don’t have much family here.” Oh, why did I say that as well?
    â€œI thought those kids were your little sisters.”
    â€œAnd brother,” adds Dolores.
    â€œNope.” Say nothing.
    â€œSo who were they?”
    â€œWho cares?”
    â€œThen why don’t you like it here?”
    â€œThat’s a dumb question. Why do you think?”
    â€œâ€™Cause the kids don’t like you?”
    â€œBecause most of them are snooty.”
    â€œThey think you’re snooty.” Trudy sucks on her straw too hard. Fizz goes up her nose and she screws up her face. “Wasn’t it Jeannie Cruikshank who said that? Or was it Alvina?”
    â€œImagine having a name like that, Alvina. I hear their parents wanted a boy named Alvin. So she had to be Alvina.” Dolores circles her tongue around her lips to take in the crumbs of donut glaze. “How would you feel not being wanted because you’re a girl?”
    â€œThat’s not nice. Maybe they didn’t know they were having twins and picked out a boy’s name and a girl’s name.” I swirl my straw round and round the lip of the glass. Good change of topic. “Didn’t your mother and father tell you if you can’t say something nice don’t say it?”
    â€œOooh. Aren’t we just little Miss Goody Two-Shoes.” Dolores stands up. “I’m going to the washroom. Coming, Trude?”
    I stare into the blank air in a café full of kids. What am I doing here? Sitting. Waiting.
    Like waiting in the hospital to see Mum. I sat there in the hall for what seemed like forever, hoping to sneak into her room when the head nurse wasn’t around. You have to be thirteen to visit someone in the Penticton hospital. Dorothy and Janet were old enough, but not me. One time Dad came along and said, “Come on, Nora girl. I don’t care what the rules are, you’re seeing your mother.” I crawled up on the bed with Mum. We hugged and hugged until I didn’t have the strength in my arms to hug any more. She looked so pale and felt so hard and brittle. Not soft like before.
    Then Dad brought her home .
    â€œHey, dreamer.” It was one of the guys who passed us on the street. “Where’re your friends?”
    â€œHow should I know? Anyway, they’re not friends of mine.”
    â€œThen why’re you hanging out with them?”
    â€œBecause I am. Any objections?”
    â€œHoly crow, you’re touchy.”
    â€œSo why do you want to know where they are?”
    â€œBecause. Just because.” Someone drops a coin in the jukebox. Elvis Presley’s “Jailhouse Rock” bursts forth. “I’m Jonathon, by the way. And you are?”
    â€œCleopatra.” My face crumples. “Sorry. I’m in a bad mood. My name’s Nora. Do you go to Sutherland?”
    â€œYeah, grade nine.”
    â€œSo how come you’re talking to this jerk, Nora?” It’s Dolores, grinning bright red lipstick, an unlit cigarette waving about in her right hand. I don’t want to be anywhere near them.
    â€œI’m not.” I slurp the last of my Orange Crush, grab my coat and school bag. I don’t even bother to say See yah around . I head for the door, arm half into one sleeve, the rest of the coat dangling. I can feel Dolores, Trudy, and Jonathon stare after me. Having no friends is better than