Read Online A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World by Rachel Cantor - Free Book Online

uncomfortably bereft. He had enjoyed their conversations, he had looked forward to them, he had found in Mill not just a client-in-pain but a friend.
    Yes, Milione had been his friend.
    He was surprised to realize this, because really, he didn’t have friends. He sometimes screen-yakked with fans of Sue & Susheela, or other Listeners, using an alias or avatar. To none of these had he ever confided the emptiness he’d felt when his grandfather died, or his lack of skill with women, or the mystery of his grandfather’s changing eyes, or his occasional sadness. With none of these had he exchanged fears, or experiences of orphanhood; certainly, none had urged him to be more than he was. Yes, Mill was a friend. But still he didn’t call.
    When the phone bleated a few nights later, Leonard grabbed it with unprofessional enthusiasm and shouted, Milione? Mill? And was deathly surprised to hear another voice, a voice he thought he’d never hear again.
    Listen, boychik, the voice said. I need you to listen good.
Boychik
    Grandpa? Is it you?
    It sounds like me, the caller said, but it isn’t.
    I don’t understand, Leonard said, tears already streaming down his cheeks. He’d spent ten years on his grandfather’s settee, listening to his grandfather’s stories: he knew his grandfather’s voice!
    Who is it? he sobbed. Why are you calling me?
    Boychik, I need you to listen good, the man repeated, causing Leonard to sob even more. You saved the world, just like I ask. You did very very good. I always knew you were a good egg.
    Grandpa! You’re dead! Why are you calling me?
    I tell you, it’s not me, the man said, but I need you to listen good.
    Who is it, then? Leonard said. Why are you doing this?
    You did very very good, said his grandfather’s voice. I am so proud of you.
    You are? I started telling Felix the stories, I couldn’t help it. He’s so lonely! I’m never going to have grandsons!
    You know nothing about the future, the voice said. Trust me on this one thing. On this one thing there can be no question. You will have grandsons, and more grandsons, on this there canbe no question. That Felix, he is a good egg, he is a good egg and so are you, you are very very good to him. This is very important. Don’t you worry about Felix, we talk about Felix later. For the moment I need you to listen.
    Grandpa, I was so bad to you before you died. I’m sorry! I am so very sorry!
    It’s not me like you think, the man said, but your grandpa he know this, he know you are a good egg. Not to worry, boychik.
    I was just a kid, I didn’t mean it when I said you were stupid and horrible and smelled like herring and I hated your stories. It wasn’t true!
    Boychik, I need you to listen.
    I am listening, Leonard said, wiping his face with his flared cambric sleeve.
    You are not listening, said the voice, and he was right. You have the possibility to be the world’s great listener, but you don’t listen!
    Oh, Leonard said. Sorry. I’m listening now.
    You saved the world, the voice said. I don’t expect you to understand, someday I explain.
    I don’t understand.
    Your advice to Marco save the world, for the time being, this is what I mean.
    I was his friend. I called him Mill. I was allowed to call him Mill because I was his friend.
    Forget about Marco. He did what we need. He publish his book and he don’t speak about the Tibetans. These things he know die with him. I need you to do another thing.
    Mill’s dead? Leonard’s tears started streaming again.
    Boychik, you understand nothing. Sometimes you gotta read a book, really, you gotta get your tuchas offa that swirly chair.
    I don’t understand. How do you know Mill’s dead?
    He live another twenty-five years after he get out of prison …
    He really was in prison?
    This is what he say, right?
    Yes.
    You listen to what he say?
    I thought he was an NP test, or a crazy