Read Online A Hell of a Dog by Carol Lea Benjamin - Free Book Online

to the blind where Pressman is, and he’s got a paper bag over his head. Damn dog emptied his anal glands all over my pants. I never got the stink out, had to throw them away.”
    â€œHe wasn’t goofing,” Bucky said. “He was just showing you your boy wasn’t ready. Didn’t have it yet.”
    A couple of veins hitherto not visible were sticking out on Woody’s neck and forehead, but he said nothing.
    â€œI don’t think he lay track. I would have seen him,” Boris said. “If not going into park, coming out from park. I wait long time.” He had what looked like a fresh grease stain at the bottom of his windbreaker. Coffee, my ass. He probably had a steak for breakfast, something to stick to his big, fat ribs while he made a major production about eating only salad at lunch.
    â€œYou said you went for coffee,” I said. “You said you went back to the hotel to—”
    â€œI watch here, this spot, like he tell me, all time,” Boris said.
    â€œHey, who’s to say?” Bucky said to no one in particular, “maybe Superman isn’t the only one with X-ray vision.”
    â€œPerhaps he simply got up earlier. Perhaps you misunderstood the time, Boris. Or the place. Perhaps he went another way,” Martyn said, “downtown, or further uptown. The way we were drinking last night, perhaps he got the time or place wrong.”
    â€œHe probably finished it before you got out of bed, Boris. Did anyone check the breakfast room? He’s probably sitting there right now, drinking coffee, eating his pancakes,” Bucky said.
    There was more mumbling, no one wanting to go back and look, and then Chip was approaching again, with Betty.
    â€œI had the desk call up. There was no answer. I guess we’ll have to reschedule this. What’s on for tomorrow morning?”
    â€œNot be so off the wall. Boris lay track,” he said.
    Everyone turned to look at Boris, who was grinning because he’d fooled us. Or was he grinning over his mastery of American idiom? I couldn’t be sure.
    â€œWhen he no show, not answer door, I leave Sasha in room, come back, and lay track for you.”
    â€œOh, I get it,” Bucky said. “It was Boris and Chip doing the goof. Fine, we’re ready. Surprise us.” He gestured with his hand when he spoke, his fingers as plump as Ballpark Franks.
    â€œWe’ve already wasted half an hour,” I said. “Let’s get started. Boris?”
    Boris led us a few feet into the park and pointed to an area between two trees.
    â€œShe’ll move pretty fast once she gets the scent,” Chip said. “Boris, you better go have another breakfast since you laid the track. You’ll confuse her if you stay.”
    â€œNo difficulty,” he said, smacking himself hard on the stomach. “In case you get lost, Boris do opening speech. You still not back, Boris eat your lunch and do afternoon, psychic readings by Boris. Boris hope you find way back by dinner. Radio predict more rain.”
    â€œWe’re onto your scheme,” Rick said. “Time to confess, Pressman. The charade is over. So the three of you cooked up this little goof, right?”
    â€œWhatever you say, Rick. I’m ready. Anyone for coming along?”
    We each took one step forward. Even if it was a scam, hell, more’s the fun if it was, we surely wouldn’t want to miss seeing how it would play out. Maybe Betty would lead us on a long chase through the densest part of the park, and at the end of the trail Alan would be lying on the ground, mouth open, arms and legs askew, the found victim. Or he’d be sitting on a blanket in the middle of the Sheep Meadow with Sam, and a great, huge picnic breakfast for us all, both of them laughing.
    Chip addressed Betty. “Good girl,” he told her, whispering urgently, “go find.” She began to sniff and circle, then suddenly she was moving, nose