Read Online A Grant County Collection by Karin Slaughter - Free Book Online
Authors: Karin Slaughter
Ads: Link
continued. 'Mason James.'
'Mama.'
'That's two men.'
'You're forgetting the last one,' Sara reminded her, feeling a tinge of regret as she saw her mother's expression darken.
Cathy folded Sara's pajama bottoms. She asked very softly, 'Does Jeffrey know you were raped?'
Sara moderated her tone, trying to be gentle. 'It hasn't exactly come up in our conversations.'
'What did you tell him when he asked why you left Atlanta?'
'Nothing,' she said, leaving out the fact that Jeffrey had not pressed for details.
Cathy smoothed the pajamas. She turned around for something else to put to order, but she had already folded or refolded everything on the bed. 'You should never be ashamed about what happened to you, Sara.'
Sara shrugged noncommittally as she stood to get her suitcase. She wasn't ashamed, exactly, just sick to death of people treating her differently because of it – especially her mother. Sara could take the concerned looks and the awkward pauses from the handful of people who knew why she had really moved back to Grant County, but her strained relationship with her mother was almost too much to bear.
Sara opened the case and started to pack. 'I'll tell him when it's time. If it's ever time.' She shrugged again. 'Maybe it'll never be time.'
'You can't expect to have a solid relationship if it's founded on secrets.'
'It's not a secret,' she countered. 'It's just private. It's something that happened to me, and I'm tired of . . .' She did not finish the sentence, because talking about the rape with her mother was not a conversation she was ready to have. 'Can you hand me that cotton top?'
Cathy gave the shirt a look of disapproval before handing it over. 'I've seen too many women fight to get to where you are and give it all up in a minute for some man that ends up leaving them in a couple of years anyway.'
'I'm not going to give up my career for Jeffrey.' She gave a rueful laugh. 'And it's not like I can get pregnant and stay home raising babies.'
Cathy absorbed the remark with little more than a frown. 'It's not that, Sara.'
'Then what is it, Mama? What is it you're so worried about? What could any man possibly do to me that's worse than what's already happened?'
Cathy looked down at her hands. She never cried, but she could go silent in a way that broke Sara's heart.
Sara sat on the bed beside her mother. 'I'm sorry,' she said, thinking that she had never been so sick of having to apologize to people in her life. She felt such guilt for bringing this on her otherwise perfect family that sometimes Sara felt like it would be better for her to just go away and leave them to heal on their own.
Cathy said, 'I don't want you to give up your self:
Sara held her breath. Her mother had never come this close to voicing her true fears. Sara knew better than anyone how easy it would be to just give in. After the rape, all Sara had been able to do was lie in bed and cry. She had not wanted to be a doctor, a sister, or even a daughter. Two months passed, and Cathy had pleaded and cajoled, then physically pushed Sara out of bed. As she had done a hundred times when Sara was a child, Cathy had driven her to the children's clinic, where this time Dr. Barney had made things better by giving Sara a job. A year later, Sara had taken a second job as county coroner in order to buy out Dr. Barney's practice. For the last two and a half years, she had struggled to rebuild her life in Grant, and Cathy was terrified Sara would lose all of that for Jeffrey.
Sara stood up and walked to her dresser. 'Mama . . .'
'I worry about you.'
'I'm better now,' Sara said, though she did not think she would ever be fully whole again. There would always be the before and after, no matter how many years distanced her from what had happened. 'I don't need you to look after me, or try to toughen me up. I'm stronger now. I'm ready for this.'
Cathy threw her hands up. 'He's just having fun. That's all this is to him – fun.'
Sara opened several
'Mama.'
'That's two men.'
'You're forgetting the last one,' Sara reminded her, feeling a tinge of regret as she saw her mother's expression darken.
Cathy folded Sara's pajama bottoms. She asked very softly, 'Does Jeffrey know you were raped?'
Sara moderated her tone, trying to be gentle. 'It hasn't exactly come up in our conversations.'
'What did you tell him when he asked why you left Atlanta?'
'Nothing,' she said, leaving out the fact that Jeffrey had not pressed for details.
Cathy smoothed the pajamas. She turned around for something else to put to order, but she had already folded or refolded everything on the bed. 'You should never be ashamed about what happened to you, Sara.'
Sara shrugged noncommittally as she stood to get her suitcase. She wasn't ashamed, exactly, just sick to death of people treating her differently because of it – especially her mother. Sara could take the concerned looks and the awkward pauses from the handful of people who knew why she had really moved back to Grant County, but her strained relationship with her mother was almost too much to bear.
Sara opened the case and started to pack. 'I'll tell him when it's time. If it's ever time.' She shrugged again. 'Maybe it'll never be time.'
'You can't expect to have a solid relationship if it's founded on secrets.'
'It's not a secret,' she countered. 'It's just private. It's something that happened to me, and I'm tired of . . .' She did not finish the sentence, because talking about the rape with her mother was not a conversation she was ready to have. 'Can you hand me that cotton top?'
Cathy gave the shirt a look of disapproval before handing it over. 'I've seen too many women fight to get to where you are and give it all up in a minute for some man that ends up leaving them in a couple of years anyway.'
'I'm not going to give up my career for Jeffrey.' She gave a rueful laugh. 'And it's not like I can get pregnant and stay home raising babies.'
Cathy absorbed the remark with little more than a frown. 'It's not that, Sara.'
'Then what is it, Mama? What is it you're so worried about? What could any man possibly do to me that's worse than what's already happened?'
Cathy looked down at her hands. She never cried, but she could go silent in a way that broke Sara's heart.
Sara sat on the bed beside her mother. 'I'm sorry,' she said, thinking that she had never been so sick of having to apologize to people in her life. She felt such guilt for bringing this on her otherwise perfect family that sometimes Sara felt like it would be better for her to just go away and leave them to heal on their own.
Cathy said, 'I don't want you to give up your self:
Sara held her breath. Her mother had never come this close to voicing her true fears. Sara knew better than anyone how easy it would be to just give in. After the rape, all Sara had been able to do was lie in bed and cry. She had not wanted to be a doctor, a sister, or even a daughter. Two months passed, and Cathy had pleaded and cajoled, then physically pushed Sara out of bed. As she had done a hundred times when Sara was a child, Cathy had driven her to the children's clinic, where this time Dr. Barney had made things better by giving Sara a job. A year later, Sara had taken a second job as county coroner in order to buy out Dr. Barney's practice. For the last two and a half years, she had struggled to rebuild her life in Grant, and Cathy was terrified Sara would lose all of that for Jeffrey.
Sara stood up and walked to her dresser. 'Mama . . .'
'I worry about you.'
'I'm better now,' Sara said, though she did not think she would ever be fully whole again. There would always be the before and after, no matter how many years distanced her from what had happened. 'I don't need you to look after me, or try to toughen me up. I'm stronger now. I'm ready for this.'
Cathy threw her hands up. 'He's just having fun. That's all this is to him – fun.'
Sara opened several
Similar Books
