A Gladiator Dies Only Once

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Authors: Steven Saylor
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you’ve lost sight of the gods. You saw the white fawn with your own eyes, and thought it was a mere pet! But not Sertorius; that’s what makes him different.”
    “How did Sertorius acquire this amazing creature?”
    “They say some hunters came upon the fawn in a wood. She walked right up to them, and told them to take her to the great leader. The hunters brought her to Sertorius. When he bent down to nuzzle the fawn’s face, she spoke to him, in his own tongue, and he recognized the voice of Diana. The two have never parted since. The fawn follows Sertorius everywhere, or strictly speaking, he follows the fawn, since it’s she who tells him where his enemies are and what routes to take. Ah, so you saw her with your own eyes. I envy you! I’ve never seen her, only heard of her.”
    “This white fawn is quite famous then?”
    “Everyone knows of her. I keep a tavern, don’t I? I know what people talk about, and every man from the Pyrenees to the Pillars of Hercules loves the white fawn!”
    Since there was only one tavern in Sucro, Mamercus Claudius had no trouble finding us the next morning. He stepped into the common room just as Eco and I were finishing our breakfast of bread and dates. So, I thought, the young man has decided to return to his grandfather after all. I smiled at him. He did not smile back.
    I realized that he was still in his military garb, and that he was not alone. A small band of soldiers entered the room behind him, all wearing the same grim look.
    His visit was official, then. My breakfast turned heavy in my stomach. My mouth went dry. I remembered the evil premonition I had felt about this mission from the very first, even before I met Gaius Claudius . . .
    Mamercus marched up to us. His manner was soldierly and impersonal. “Gordianus! Quintus Sertorius has sent me to fetch you.”
    Then it was the worst, I thought. Mamercus had betrayed me to Sertorius, and now Sertorius was having me arrested for trying to engineer the defection of an officer. I had known the mission would be dangerous; I should have been more cautious. Mamercus had made it clear the previous day that he had no intention of returning to Rome with me; why I had lingered in Sucro? I had tarried too long, a victim of my own sentimental sympathy for the old senator. And I had made Eco a victim, as well. He was only a boy—surely Sertorius would not lop his head off along with mine. But what would become of him after I was gone? Sertorius would probably conscript him as a foot soldier, I thought. Was that to be Eco’s fate, to end his days on a battlefield, fighting for a lost cause in a foreign land? If only I had left him behind in Rome!
    I stood as bravely as I could and gestured for Eco to do the same. Mamercus and his men escorted us out of the tavern and marched us up the river road, back to the camp. The men’s faces looked even grimmer under the bright morning sun. Not one of them said a word.
    The same grimness presided in the camp. Every face we saw was glum and silent. Where were the high spirits of the day before?
    We came to Sertorius’s tent. Mamercus pulled back the flap and announced my name. He gestured for Eco and me to enter. He himself remained outside, as did the other soldiers.
    The commander was alone; more alone, in fact, than I realized at first. He rose from his chair eagerly, as if he had been waiting impatiently, and strode toward us. This was not the reception I had expected.
    “Gordianus the Finder!” he said, grasping my hand. “What good fortune that you should happen to be here, on such a day! Do you know why I’ve summoned you?”
    “I’m beginning to think that I don’t.” The look on Sertorius’s face was grim but not hostile. My head started to feel noticeably more secure on my shoulders.
    “Then you haven’t heard the news yet?”
    “What news?”
    “Excellent! That means that word hasn’t yet spread to the town. One tries to keep down the gossip and rumors when

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