the emergency button.
At that time of night those things work really well and within a matter of seconds I heard footsteps in the corridor and a nurse opened the door and asked was there a problem, I just pointed to the expanding sea of refined porridge, she switched on the main light to see what I was pointing at and said for me to wait there and she would get something to clean it up.
While out of the room she must have called for assistance because just after she returned with some paper towels to clean the floor, Tingha arrived looking very sleepy indeed he asked had I hurt myself and I told him not as far as I knew.
He sat me in the chair and said that he would have to insert another NG tube and so he left to collect one from the store, he was gone for what seemed a very long time so much so that the nurse had had time to clean the floor, wipe it with a damp cloth, remove the bag and the line from the drip stand and clear it away and I had managed to use the loo.
When Tingha got back he said that he was sorry for being so long but that when he had got to the stores he had found that there were no adult NG tubes available so he had made a detour to the children’s ward and managed to get a child’s one which should be alright until the morning when it could be changed for an adult one.
He sat me in the chair and repeated the process of earlier in the day, it seemed over the intervening period that he must have become something of an expert in the process or that he was already much better at it than Tucker as he quickly inserted the new NG tube, just asking me all the time to swallow while he did it.
I asked him if he would put a bigger plaster to hold the NG tube on this time and he found some kind of wound dressing about 3” square, I was then expecting to be trundled back to the X-ray department to for him check that it was in the correct position, but no, not this time, he just asked me to get back into bed and fitted a new food bag to the pump and tube and having quickly checked that the pump was working he left the room with the nurse, switching the light off as they closed the door.
Trying to get back to sleep when something like that has happened is almost impossible I can tell you, so I lay awake in the near darkness for at least a couple of hours but in those waking moments I had time to do some serious thinking about what was going to happen to me and what I needed to do while I was still capable, so I knew that I would need to try and talk to Helen about these difficult subjects when she came in later and then I must have dozed off.
Thursday 1 st December 2005
The noise of the early nurse coming into the room woke me, she noticed that the pump had completely emptied the food bag on the stand so she switched off the pump and disconnected the tube, I always got a sense of freedom when they did this as it meant I could move about without having to wheel the drip stand with me.
The nurse asked me how I was feeling this morning and I said that although the events of the night before had kept me awake for long periods that in fact I had managed to sleep for about three hours which had given me a bit of a lift and she seemed genuinely pleased for me, she said did I want to have the next food bag fitted or wait until after I had used the bathroom and it was agreed to wait where upon she left the room.
The mirror in the shower room was a small oblong fitted over the hand basin so all I could really see was my head and shoulders and this morning the reflected image was not an attractive sight, by now I had started a beard and it was the first time that I had really looked at the NG tube which although now disconnected was still full of the beige food stuff which seemed odd as I had been brought up to always finish what was on my plate ( I was starting to have these surreal flashbacks ) and my hair was stood on end like a cocks comb, the whole impression
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