Read Online A Cruel Courtship by Candace Robb - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Candace Robb
Ads: Link
gifted with both the Sight and divine grace,’ said Bethag. ‘These are gifts you must honour with prayer and contemplation.’
‘I have work to do out in the world.’
Bethag was nodding.
‘How do I honour these gifts out in the world, in the midst of the fighting in our land?’ Tell me that , Margaret thought, but left it a question, not a challenge.
‘Do not be frightened. You walk in the light ofthe Lord. He will show you. You must keep your mind open to His guidance. Come.’ Bethag rose and held out her hand. ‘I’ll walk with you to the guest house.’
Bethag helped Margaret rise, and then gently brushed her fingertips across Margaret’s forehead and down one side of her face.
‘You lack all joy, young Margaret. Surely God’s gifts, the most precious one being that of life, are to be treasured and rejoiced in.’ Her expression was one of gentle inquiry as she searched Margaret’s eyes.
Margaret thought of all her worries, but was struck by how self-pitying she would sound if she recited them. She could not imagine Bethag complaining about her lot in life – but then she seemed to enjoy a quiet peace here.
‘I forget to laugh,’ Margaret said, though she had not realised it until she spoke the words. She was embarrassed to have blurted out such a silly worry. ‘You must think me a child, fretting about whether or not I laugh.’
‘No, Margaret,’ said Bethag. ‘I see that you have left your childhood far behind.’
They had moved down the aisle and Margaret now stepped forward to hold open the door for Bethag. As she passed, the nun gave her such a beatific smile that Margaret found herself responding – tentatively, but she did manage a smile. It was such a small gesture, but it shiftedsomething within her. Perhaps God was speaking to her through Bethag. Margaret crossed herself as she let go the door and joined her companion.
They walked slowly through the convent yard. As they approached the guest house the long shadows of early evening already stretched across the garden.
Margaret asked, ‘What did you mean, that I’ve left my childhood far behind?’
Bethag nodded at the question. ‘You carry yourself with a gravity unusual in a young woman. At your age I had been here for almost half my life and my cares were shared by a community of women. With your parents away, and your husband, too, you are responsible for your own well-being. I think I was fortunate in being called to God and to this place where I am not alone.’ She gave Margaret an apologetic smile. ‘I’ve never before considered how selfish we sisters might seem to you, how cockered.’
Margaret wondered whether the nun could read her thoughts. ‘Without your prayers we would be lost. I imagine all those who are cloistered resenting the rest of us for requiring so much prayer.’
They laughed companionably.
At the guest-hall door Dame Bethag paused and, catching Margaret’s smile, mirrored it in her beautiful face. ‘A smile is one of God’s little miracles, young Margaret. It is good to rememberthat.’ She pressed her hands together and bowed. ‘Now I must return to my cell. God go with you.’
‘And with you, Dame Bethag.’ Margaret wanted to wish her more than that, but she could not think what the woman did not have. She mulled this over as she stepped into the hall, unaware of Ada’s presence until she was swept up in her affectionate embrace.
‘You have been long away, Maggie,’ Ada said as she stood back to hold her at arm’s length and study her face. ‘I see a hint of a smile. Oh, that is so good to see. Your meeting with Christiana must have pleased you.’
As a cloud sweeping past the sun the memory of her mother’s condition swept over Margaret, chilling her. ‘No, it was not Ma who made me smile.’ Her throat tightened. ‘It was Dame Bethag. She was so kind to me.’ Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how little cause she had to smile, a thought that irritated her,
‘I have work to do out in the world.’
Bethag was nodding.
‘How do I honour these gifts out in the world, in the midst of the fighting in our land?’ Tell me that , Margaret thought, but left it a question, not a challenge.
‘Do not be frightened. You walk in the light ofthe Lord. He will show you. You must keep your mind open to His guidance. Come.’ Bethag rose and held out her hand. ‘I’ll walk with you to the guest house.’
Bethag helped Margaret rise, and then gently brushed her fingertips across Margaret’s forehead and down one side of her face.
‘You lack all joy, young Margaret. Surely God’s gifts, the most precious one being that of life, are to be treasured and rejoiced in.’ Her expression was one of gentle inquiry as she searched Margaret’s eyes.
Margaret thought of all her worries, but was struck by how self-pitying she would sound if she recited them. She could not imagine Bethag complaining about her lot in life – but then she seemed to enjoy a quiet peace here.
‘I forget to laugh,’ Margaret said, though she had not realised it until she spoke the words. She was embarrassed to have blurted out such a silly worry. ‘You must think me a child, fretting about whether or not I laugh.’
‘No, Margaret,’ said Bethag. ‘I see that you have left your childhood far behind.’
They had moved down the aisle and Margaret now stepped forward to hold open the door for Bethag. As she passed, the nun gave her such a beatific smile that Margaret found herself responding – tentatively, but she did manage a smile. It was such a small gesture, but it shiftedsomething within her. Perhaps God was speaking to her through Bethag. Margaret crossed herself as she let go the door and joined her companion.
They walked slowly through the convent yard. As they approached the guest house the long shadows of early evening already stretched across the garden.
Margaret asked, ‘What did you mean, that I’ve left my childhood far behind?’
Bethag nodded at the question. ‘You carry yourself with a gravity unusual in a young woman. At your age I had been here for almost half my life and my cares were shared by a community of women. With your parents away, and your husband, too, you are responsible for your own well-being. I think I was fortunate in being called to God and to this place where I am not alone.’ She gave Margaret an apologetic smile. ‘I’ve never before considered how selfish we sisters might seem to you, how cockered.’
Margaret wondered whether the nun could read her thoughts. ‘Without your prayers we would be lost. I imagine all those who are cloistered resenting the rest of us for requiring so much prayer.’
They laughed companionably.
At the guest-hall door Dame Bethag paused and, catching Margaret’s smile, mirrored it in her beautiful face. ‘A smile is one of God’s little miracles, young Margaret. It is good to rememberthat.’ She pressed her hands together and bowed. ‘Now I must return to my cell. God go with you.’
‘And with you, Dame Bethag.’ Margaret wanted to wish her more than that, but she could not think what the woman did not have. She mulled this over as she stepped into the hall, unaware of Ada’s presence until she was swept up in her affectionate embrace.
‘You have been long away, Maggie,’ Ada said as she stood back to hold her at arm’s length and study her face. ‘I see a hint of a smile. Oh, that is so good to see. Your meeting with Christiana must have pleased you.’
As a cloud sweeping past the sun the memory of her mother’s condition swept over Margaret, chilling her. ‘No, it was not Ma who made me smile.’ Her throat tightened. ‘It was Dame Bethag. She was so kind to me.’ Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how little cause she had to smile, a thought that irritated her,
Similar Books
