Read Online A Boy Called Cin by Cecil Wilde - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Cecil Wilde
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grown up." Cin shrugs. "I didn't start binding or asking people to call me 'he' until the summer before college, and only around a few people I knew I could trust. College has been great, actually, because it's let me be a boy full-time. Even if some people still insist on misgendering me."
Tom bites down on his lip. Cin knows he wants to do something about that last part, but he's obviously realized that it's not his place. Even if there was something to be done, that would be Cin's prerogative. It's nice to have someone understand that, even though they clearly want to run in and fix it for him. It had taken a lot to get Rachel to stop doing it.
"Thank you. For telling me all that." Tom plays with his wine glass, peering at the remaining mouthful as though it's full of answers. "I'm still thinking about… y'know. Gender stuff. I can't decide if I just don't feel like what I think a man's supposed to be, or if I actually…"
Cin gives Tom a moment to continue, but when it becomes obvious that he's run out of words, Cin shuffles over and crawls into his lap. Tom's a lot bigger than he is, and it's nice to cuddle up this close to him. He's been trying to put his finger on what exactly it is about Tom that he likes, and Cin's more or less come to the conclusion that, aside from attractiveness and intelligence, it's that Tom seems safe . That's probably because he has gender-related issues of his own and he kind of gets it.
"Well, if you want to try different pronouns or go dress shopping or play with makeup or anything like that, I'm with you. I'm all about tearing down the walls of gender."
"I don't think I want any of that. I mean, pronouns, maybe, but I've been going with 'he' for nearly forty years. Too much work to change it now, and no one would go along with it, anyway."
"I would," Cin offers. "We can test it out. You can always go back."
"No, I… thank you for the offer. I'll think about it. But, y'know, I've been doing this for a while and it's really enough for me that you've agreed not to touch my dick. I know I keep saying it, but I mean that. It helps so much."
"You're very welcome." Cin kisses him softly. "I know I don't really seem like I take much seriously, but it's important to me that you're comfortable. I would really hate to think that we were having any kind of sexual contact that made you unhappy. Or other contact, honestly."
Tom nods and lets his arms fall around Cin's waist. "Think we've got time for a little sexual contact before the pizza shows up?"
"I'm willing to find out if you are." Cin beams.
*~*~*
When Cin first came to the little town Tom's house is in, he'd assumed that it would be mostly empty and quiet, and Tom had chosen it for those reasons. The house is private enough, set on a slope, so only the top floor is visible from the road, and away from the neighbors on both sides to the point where Cin's barely aware of them until he's driving past on a grocery run or something. Now that he's in what he supposes passes for a shopping center here, though, there are a lot more people than he'd imagined.
He'd go so far as to say it's bustling with activity. Mostly holidaymakers, he guesses, but there are plenty of people he can tell are locals. As much fun as he was having escaping the rest of the world with Tom, it would have been a shame to come out here without ever seeing more of it than the walls of Tom's house.
It's not impossible to understand why Tom isn't really pushing to go out all the time, since the only way he's going to get a break is to not appear in public, no matter how small the town is, but he's busy with what Cin assumes are genuinely important business things right now, and there's only so much TV he can watch without succumbing to cabin fever.
He's just settled down at a little café facing the ocean, close enough to hear the waves and the birds, when he spots what he recognizes as one of Tom's neighbors. She's about his age, here with her family, and that's
Tom bites down on his lip. Cin knows he wants to do something about that last part, but he's obviously realized that it's not his place. Even if there was something to be done, that would be Cin's prerogative. It's nice to have someone understand that, even though they clearly want to run in and fix it for him. It had taken a lot to get Rachel to stop doing it.
"Thank you. For telling me all that." Tom plays with his wine glass, peering at the remaining mouthful as though it's full of answers. "I'm still thinking about… y'know. Gender stuff. I can't decide if I just don't feel like what I think a man's supposed to be, or if I actually…"
Cin gives Tom a moment to continue, but when it becomes obvious that he's run out of words, Cin shuffles over and crawls into his lap. Tom's a lot bigger than he is, and it's nice to cuddle up this close to him. He's been trying to put his finger on what exactly it is about Tom that he likes, and Cin's more or less come to the conclusion that, aside from attractiveness and intelligence, it's that Tom seems safe . That's probably because he has gender-related issues of his own and he kind of gets it.
"Well, if you want to try different pronouns or go dress shopping or play with makeup or anything like that, I'm with you. I'm all about tearing down the walls of gender."
"I don't think I want any of that. I mean, pronouns, maybe, but I've been going with 'he' for nearly forty years. Too much work to change it now, and no one would go along with it, anyway."
"I would," Cin offers. "We can test it out. You can always go back."
"No, I… thank you for the offer. I'll think about it. But, y'know, I've been doing this for a while and it's really enough for me that you've agreed not to touch my dick. I know I keep saying it, but I mean that. It helps so much."
"You're very welcome." Cin kisses him softly. "I know I don't really seem like I take much seriously, but it's important to me that you're comfortable. I would really hate to think that we were having any kind of sexual contact that made you unhappy. Or other contact, honestly."
Tom nods and lets his arms fall around Cin's waist. "Think we've got time for a little sexual contact before the pizza shows up?"
"I'm willing to find out if you are." Cin beams.
*~*~*
When Cin first came to the little town Tom's house is in, he'd assumed that it would be mostly empty and quiet, and Tom had chosen it for those reasons. The house is private enough, set on a slope, so only the top floor is visible from the road, and away from the neighbors on both sides to the point where Cin's barely aware of them until he's driving past on a grocery run or something. Now that he's in what he supposes passes for a shopping center here, though, there are a lot more people than he'd imagined.
He'd go so far as to say it's bustling with activity. Mostly holidaymakers, he guesses, but there are plenty of people he can tell are locals. As much fun as he was having escaping the rest of the world with Tom, it would have been a shame to come out here without ever seeing more of it than the walls of Tom's house.
It's not impossible to understand why Tom isn't really pushing to go out all the time, since the only way he's going to get a break is to not appear in public, no matter how small the town is, but he's busy with what Cin assumes are genuinely important business things right now, and there's only so much TV he can watch without succumbing to cabin fever.
He's just settled down at a little café facing the ocean, close enough to hear the waves and the birds, when he spots what he recognizes as one of Tom's neighbors. She's about his age, here with her family, and that's
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