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Authors: Emily McKee
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legs she stood up. She was getting ready to open her mouth when I hoisted her up on my shoulders and walked her back to the beach house. Cave man style.
She was smacking my back and saying, “Put me down Jason. Put me down,” but little did she know that I was never going to let go of her. I was never going to put her down, but she had to know. I had to tell her.
Making my way into the beach house with Ash on my shoulders I dropped her on the sofa in the living room and started pacing back and forth. I knew I needed to tell her. She deserved this but I just didn’t know how to go about it.
She was getting ready to say something when I placed a finger to her lips and said, “I need to tell you something Ashlynn.” With my finger still on her luscious lips she nodded her head. Without thinking I kissed her because I wasn’t sure if it would be the last or one of many but the way she was looking at me gave me the courage to finally speak up.
“Jade’s and my childhood was pretty fucked up. Dad was always belittling me and pushing me to work extremely hard. Even when I did succeed in something he would put me down and degrade me. I kind of learned to look past the verbal abuse because he didn’t matter to me all that much. But the physical abuse was a completely different story.”
I heard Ash gasp and she was about to say something when I shushed her and said, “He’s a drunk but he’s one of the top attorneys in the country so he got away with a lot of bullshit. When we were little there were little shoves here or there but as we got older the physical abuse got a hell of a lot worse. Jade had missed curfew once. I think we were in middle school and he was about to kick her in the side when I pushed her out of the way to protect her. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to go to baseball practice for a week but he never hit Jade again.
The sick bastard knew how to hit me without showing physical evidence where it would be visible. It was all along my chest or legs or ribs. I stopped counting how many times I was in the hospital for chipped teeth, cracked ribs, and broken bones.”
I took a breather because this was really hard for me to say. I had never told anyone this before and neither had Jade. We were both ashamed and we knew no one would ever believe us. Top Defense Attorney vs. two teenagers. Hands down no competition. I also knew that it was a lot for Ashlynn to take in.
I wanted to look up at her but I didn’t know what emotion would cross her face then I heard her whisper, “Where was your mom?”
I looked up at her face and saw tears streaming down. As much as I wanted to wipe them away I had to keep going on in my explanation. “I don’t know. Probably passed out somewhere because of too many cocktails. The spa or lunches with the ladies. Working on the board. Doesn’t really matter because she wouldn’t have done anything either way.
Not only was my dad physically and verbally abusive with his children but he cheated on his wife and had numerous affairs. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jade and I had brothers and sisters out there somewhere.”
Pausing, I sucked in a breath before I looked up into Ash’s eyes and said, “That’s why we can’t be together Ashlynn. My life has been a mess and I don’t want to end up like my dad. Beating up his children. Cheating on his wife. You don’t deserve that. So there you have it. My sob story. My reason for pushing you away.”
She walked over to me and sat down beside me. “I don’t understand why you’re pushing me away, Jason. You’re kind and funny. You’re smart. You’re beautiful.”
Cupping her face between my hands I said, “Because I don’t do relationships. I have sex with girls, I don’t fall in love with them. I keep that barrier because I can’t turn out like my dad. I also know that I would never have children because I would never want to ruin their childhoods and their lives the way both of my parents destroyed mine and
She was smacking my back and saying, “Put me down Jason. Put me down,” but little did she know that I was never going to let go of her. I was never going to put her down, but she had to know. I had to tell her.
Making my way into the beach house with Ash on my shoulders I dropped her on the sofa in the living room and started pacing back and forth. I knew I needed to tell her. She deserved this but I just didn’t know how to go about it.
She was getting ready to say something when I placed a finger to her lips and said, “I need to tell you something Ashlynn.” With my finger still on her luscious lips she nodded her head. Without thinking I kissed her because I wasn’t sure if it would be the last or one of many but the way she was looking at me gave me the courage to finally speak up.
“Jade’s and my childhood was pretty fucked up. Dad was always belittling me and pushing me to work extremely hard. Even when I did succeed in something he would put me down and degrade me. I kind of learned to look past the verbal abuse because he didn’t matter to me all that much. But the physical abuse was a completely different story.”
I heard Ash gasp and she was about to say something when I shushed her and said, “He’s a drunk but he’s one of the top attorneys in the country so he got away with a lot of bullshit. When we were little there were little shoves here or there but as we got older the physical abuse got a hell of a lot worse. Jade had missed curfew once. I think we were in middle school and he was about to kick her in the side when I pushed her out of the way to protect her. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to go to baseball practice for a week but he never hit Jade again.
The sick bastard knew how to hit me without showing physical evidence where it would be visible. It was all along my chest or legs or ribs. I stopped counting how many times I was in the hospital for chipped teeth, cracked ribs, and broken bones.”
I took a breather because this was really hard for me to say. I had never told anyone this before and neither had Jade. We were both ashamed and we knew no one would ever believe us. Top Defense Attorney vs. two teenagers. Hands down no competition. I also knew that it was a lot for Ashlynn to take in.
I wanted to look up at her but I didn’t know what emotion would cross her face then I heard her whisper, “Where was your mom?”
I looked up at her face and saw tears streaming down. As much as I wanted to wipe them away I had to keep going on in my explanation. “I don’t know. Probably passed out somewhere because of too many cocktails. The spa or lunches with the ladies. Working on the board. Doesn’t really matter because she wouldn’t have done anything either way.
Not only was my dad physically and verbally abusive with his children but he cheated on his wife and had numerous affairs. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jade and I had brothers and sisters out there somewhere.”
Pausing, I sucked in a breath before I looked up into Ash’s eyes and said, “That’s why we can’t be together Ashlynn. My life has been a mess and I don’t want to end up like my dad. Beating up his children. Cheating on his wife. You don’t deserve that. So there you have it. My sob story. My reason for pushing you away.”
She walked over to me and sat down beside me. “I don’t understand why you’re pushing me away, Jason. You’re kind and funny. You’re smart. You’re beautiful.”
Cupping her face between my hands I said, “Because I don’t do relationships. I have sex with girls, I don’t fall in love with them. I keep that barrier because I can’t turn out like my dad. I also know that I would never have children because I would never want to ruin their childhoods and their lives the way both of my parents destroyed mine and
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