A Beautiful Dark

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Authors: Jocelyn Davies
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brushed off the snow with my mittens, and sat down. Devin stood there hesitantly.
    “Sorry,” I said. “I’m still a little shaky. Do you mind if we sit for a minute?”
    “No.” He wandered over and settled down beside me. The view was breathtaking. As silence eased in between us, I thought of what Cassie had said about Devin being tormented.
    “Did you lose someone you cared about in that school fire?”
    He seemed to hesitate, then shook his head. “No.”
    “You don’t seem as comfortable here as Asher.”
    “This place . . . it isn’t home ,” he said quietly.
    “What was home like?”
    He waved his hand out to encompass everything. “Like this. Not the snow and the cold. But the quiet. The beauty. The tranquility.”
    “In Denver?”
    “When you’re home, everything is easier. It’s all laid out for you.” A corner of his mouth inched upward. “No anger management was necessary.”
    I laughed. “So you talked to the counselor?”
    “No. It’s pointless. Asher is going to break rules . . . no matter what. Again and again. That’s who he is. And as long as he does . . . it just makes things harder for me.”
    “He’s a real rebel,” I said, smiling.
    The peacefulness in Devin’s features momentarily slipped away, and I wished I’d never brought up Asher. Finally he said, “Yeah, a real rebel.”
    He grew silent again. I could see the tranquility easing back into him. I wondered if he was chanting in his head, I will not let Asher upset me. I will not let Asher upset me.
    Of course it was also possible that he was chanting, Asher, die! But I didn’t think so. Even though they’d gotten into the fight, he hadn’t delivered the first blow. He just didn’t strike me as the type who would hurt someone or wish him ill. He was more of a dove. Asher was the hawk.
    The wind whistled through the gorge. As we sat there, the clouds were growing heavier, darker, and more twisted.
    “I think we’re going to get more snow,” I said, glad that there would be a fresh layer for the ski trip in a few days.
    “Why do you come here?” Devin asked suddenly.
    I brought my feet up to the boulder and wrapped my arms around my legs. “It makes me feel closer to my parents. They died when I was six.” I paused. It was so easy to talk to him that I felt like I could just keep going, spilling all kinds of secrets without thinking twice. “Do you promise you won’t laugh if I tell you something?”
    “Of course,” he said. His lips were serious, but his eyes were encouraging.
    “Sometimes I have this insane thought that if I concentrated hard enough I could fly to wherever they are.” I hesitated, wondering if I should have said anything. “Which I know is ridiculous, because all I’d do is fall flat on the ground below, but still. Here I just feel a sense of . . . lightness.”
    He was staring at me.
    I laughed self-consciously. “But it’s one of the reasons I like to ski. Just that rush of motion, it’s almost like flying. Or what I think flying would feel like.”
    Devin looked like he was choosing his words carefully. “No, it makes sense. A lot of sense. Do you ever dream about it? That you’re flying, I mean?”
    I smiled. “Yeah, actually. The other morning, I woke up thinking that I actually was . Like I was floating.” I laughed. “It was really unnerving.”
    Why was I telling him this? He might not be as funny or confident as Asher, but he was a good listener. And accepting.
    “Flying,” Devin said, kicking a pebble across the frosted trail with his foot. “It’s sort of a strange sensation if you think about it. Nothing above you. Nothing below you.”
    A gust of wind rushed up, hitting us suddenly, hard.
    “It’s definitely going to snow.” I hopped off the boulder. “I’m cold, and I have warm cookies waiting for me. I should get home.”
    “I need to head back, too.”
    He slid off the boulder and fell into step beside me as we began to make our way back

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