Read Online 1944 - Just the Way It Is by James Hadley Chase - Free Book Online

windscreen down, will you?’
    He fixed the windscreen and started the engine. ‘Where shall we go?’ he said.
    ‘Oh, I don’t care - anywhere.’
    He couldn’t understand why she was like this, but he turned the car and began to drive towards Fairview. She didn’t say anything for a long time. She had stopped crying and she sat away from him with the hot wind in her hair, staring at the dancing pools of light from the headlamps.
    Peter had never seen her in a mood like this before. It made him uneasy. Usually, she was so self-possessed and confident.
    ‘I’m sorry about tonight, Peter,’ she said, suddenly. ‘It’s just that I’m nervy and the heat. Do you mind most awfully?’
    ‘That’s all right,’ he said, dropping one hand from the wheel and squeezing hers gently. There was an answering pressure. ‘I get low myself sometimes. Only, it’s not a bit like you, is it?’
    ‘I’m afraid it is,’ she said, ‘only this is the first time I’ve let myself go in public. I suppose I’m not right yet after my illness.’
    ‘You work too hard.’ He eased up on the accelerator and pressed on the brake. The car stopped by the side of the road. He turned in his seat. ‘Listen, Clare, why don’t you do the sensible thing? Give all this up and let’s get married.’ He took her in his arms and kissed her. She didn’t resist, but her lips were cold and impersonal and his kiss didn’t mean a thing. ‘Darling, I do love you so,’ he said, stroking her hair. ‘Can’t you make up your mind? I’ll make you happy. I’ll do anything for you.’
    She pushed him gently away. ‘It’s no good, Peter,’ she said, ‘I’m not in the mood tonight. Will you go on?’
    ‘What do you mean?’ he demanded, making no effort to stem his rising anger. ‘In the mood? I’m not flirting with you, Clare. I’m asking you to marry me. You don’t have to be in the mood for that. You either love me or you don’t.’
    She suddenly put her hands on his arms and gripped his muscles tightly. Her strong fingers hurt.
    ‘Please don’t, Peter,’ she said, in a desperate sort of way. ‘I couldn’t bear to quarrel with you. You don’t understand. You don’t know how unsure I am.’
    He still felt a flicker of anger and he took her hands away. ‘I can’t go on like this,’ he said, stubbornly. ‘I’ve been waiting and waiting and I never seem to get anywhere. You either love me or you don’t. If you don’t, then perhaps we’d better not meet anymore.’
    ‘Of course, I love you,’ Clare said. ‘I think you’re a kind, lovely person and please don’t talk about not meeting anymore.’
    ‘Then if you love me, why can’t we be married?’ he persisted, frowning at her.
    ‘Don’t look like that, Peter. In another minute we’ll be strangers.’ She slid into his arms and held him tightly. ‘Oh, Peter, I do love you, but don’t rush me. I’m so unsound. I don’t know where I am going and I don’t ever want to hurt you. Don’t you see? It’s because I don’t ever want to hurt you that I hesitate.’
    They held each other for a long time. Distant houses were now black silhouettes as the lights were turned out and the people went to bed.
    He said at last, ‘All right, Clare, we won’t talk about it for a while. I’m not going to worry you. I wish we could go away together. I wish we could take this old car and a couple of suitcases and go south for a month. It’d do you good.’
    She twisted in the seat, so that her shoulder and head were against him. ‘Perhaps one day,’ she said. ‘It would be fun, wouldn’t it?’ There was a pause, and then she said, ‘Tell me about Harry Duke. How long have you known him?’
    The thought entered his head that Harry Duke meant something to her. He remembered how quiet she had been when they first met. He remembered her embarrassment when he had teased her about the telephone number. He remembered her disappointment when she saw that Harry had gone away. And