186 Miles

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Authors: Nicole Hildreth
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not going hide my feelings from
you though.  I’m not that guy.”
     
    “Can
you at least be that guy in front of my friends?  I don’t want them to
worry about me.”
     
    “Yep. 
I can be whatever you want… but only for a while, Rachel.”
     
    *
     
    Five
days was an eternity.  An actual eternity.  Besides a few text messages,
Vince and I had not communicated for the most part.  He kept his distance.  He
gave me space.  I missed him more .
     
    Today
was his last day in Chicago.  He would be here within the hour.  Apart from one
suitcase, his apartment was being packed up and transported by a moving company
on the first day of his lease.
     
    This
was the start of our two weeks together.  In my house.  I was manic.  I
cleaned for two days.  I bought new sheets for his bed.  I vacuumed the
curtains.  Who vacuums the curtains?
     
    I
was a mess.
     
    He
pulled up a little after 9, letting himself in with the key I had given him the
weekend before. 
     
    “Rachel!” 
     
    “Hey.” 
I breezed down the stairs, trying to act nonchalant.  I was failing miserably.
     
    He
practically ran to me.  Like ran .  He squeezed me tight, burying his
face in my neck.  “God, I missed you.  I wanted to call you a hundred times.”
     
    I
patted him on the back twice, trying to keep it casual.  “Me too.”  Ugh, a
little too casual.  I may as well have said “you find the place alright?”
     
    “We
have the whole weekend to hang out.  Bob doesn’t need me in until Monday, so…
what should we do?”
     
    “Actually,
Carrie and I are going to Lauren’s for a party.”
     
    “Oh.” 
He looked crushed.  “What time?”
     
    “She
should be here any minute.  I would ask you to go, but it’s just girls.”
     
    “A
party with just girls ?”
     
    “It’s
one of those stupid Love Passion parties.  You know, with the edible underwear
and all that crap.”
     
    A
smile crept up his face.  “Huh.  Okay.”  He leaned in and whispered, “Red is my
favorite color.”
     
    The
doorbell rang.  Fuck .
     
    He
walked to the refrigerator.  “Mind if I take a beer?”
     
    I
shook my head and opened the door to Carrie.  “You ready to get your slut on?” 
She looked over at Vince.  “Heyyyy… didn’t see you there.  She’s not really a slut, Vince.”
     
    He
popped the bottle open.  “Go get your slut on, girls.”
     
    I
groaned. 
     
    Carrie
headed for the door.  “See ya, Vinnie.”
     
    “Bye,
Miss Carrie.” 
     
    I
turned to him.  “Bye.”
     
    “Be
careful.  Come home soon.”
     
    I
closed the door.
     
    “Be
careful?  Come home soon?  You are seriously fucking that guy, right?”  Carrie
reached in her giant bag for her keys.  “He totally wants in your lady parts.”
     
    “Get
in the car, Carrie.”
     
    She
made a crude gesture with her hands.
     
    Seriously,
where did I find my friends?
     
    She
sat in the front seat and studied me.  “For real, though.  What’s going on with
you guys?” 
     
    “I
don’t know.  It’s all a mess.”  I looked out the window.
     
    “He
moved here for you .  Something is up.”
     
    “He
didn’t move here for me .  He got a job here.”
     
    “Uh
huh.”
     
    “I
mean it… just stop.  I feel bad enough as it is.”
     
    “Why? 
Because of Ryan?”  She leaned in.  “Honey, no one knows what you need more than
you do.  If you need Vince, fuckin’ do that.  Seriously, fuckin’ do that.”  Another crude gesture.
     
    I
paused.  “I already did that.”  I paused again.  “Three times.”
     
    “Shut.
The. Fuck. Up.  Please tell me you are kidding me right now.”  She was way too excited.
     
    “I
swear to God, if you tell anyone, I will end you.”  I poked a finger towards
her.  “I mean it… seriously.”
     
    “Fine. 
Seriously, I know it’s sick, but I want details.  At the party, in those red
pants, he looked all man.  I wasn’t trying to look, but come

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