Read Online 09 To the Nines by Janet Evanovich - Free Book Online
Authors: Janet Evanovich
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special food. There's a new man in my life and I've decided I'm too much woman for him, so I'm losing some weight. I'm gonna turn myself into a supermodel. I'm gonna lose about a hundred pounds.
“It'll be easy because I joined FatBusters last night. I got everything I need to lose weight now. I got a notebook to write in every time I eat something. And I got a FatBusters book that tells me how to do it all. Every single food's got a number assigned to it. All you gotta do is add up those numbers and make sure you don't go over your limit. Like my limit is twenty-nine.”
Lula set the bag on the floor, plopped herself down on the couch, and took out a small notepad. “Okay, here I go,” she said. “This here's my first entry in my notebook. This here's the beginning of a new way of life.”
Connie and I exchanged glances.
“Oh boy,” Connie said.
“I know I've tried diets in the past and they haven't worked out, but this is different,” Lula said. “This one's realistic. That's what they say in the pamphlet. It's not like that last diet where all I could eat was bananas.” She paged through her FatBusters book. “Let's see how I'm doing. No points for coffee.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “You never get plain coffee. I bet that's a caramel mochaccino you're drinking. I bet that's at least four points.”
Lula narrowed her eyes at me. “It says here coffee's got no points and that's what I'm writing. I'm not getting involved with all that detail bullshit.”
“You have anything else for breakfast?” Connie asked.
“I had a egg. Let's see what an egg's gonna cost me. Two points.”
I looked over her shoulder at the book. “Did you cook that egg yourself? Or did you get it on one of those fast-food breakfast sandwiches with sausage and cheese?”
“It was on a sausage and cheese sandwich. But I didn't eat it all.”
“How much didn't you eat?”
Lula flapped her arms. “Okay, I ate it all.”
“That's got to be at least ten points.”
“Hunh,” Lula said. “Well, I still got a lot of points left for the rest of the day. I got nineteen points left.”
“What's in the grocery bag?”
“Vegetables. You don't get any points for vegetables, so you can eat as much as you want.”
“I didn't know you were a big vegetable eater,” Connie said.
“I like beans when you put them in a pan with some bacon. And I like broccoli. . . except it's got to have cheese sauce on it.”
“Bacon and cheese sauce might up your points,” Connie said.
“Yeah, I'm gonna have to wean myself off the bacon and cheese sauce if I want to get to supermodel weight.”
“I'm heading out to look for a guy named Howie. Supposedly he and Singh were buddies,” I said to Connie. “Anything new come in that I should know about?”
“We got a new skip this morning, but Vinnie doesn't want anyone working on anything other than Singh. Vinnie s in a state over this Singh thing.”
“Maybe I should go look for Howie with you,” Lula said. “If I stay here I'll file all day and filing makes me hungry. I don't know if I got enough vegetables for a full day of filing.”
“Bad idea. Howie works at a fast-food place. You have no willpower when it comes to that stuff.”
“No problemo. I'm a changed woman. And anyway, I got my fill of fast food for the day. I had a good fast-food breakfast.”
A half hour later, Lula and I parked in the McDonald's lot. Lula had gone through a bunch of celery and was halfway into a bag of carrots.
“This isn't doing much for me,” she said, “but I guess you gotta sacrifice if you want to be a supermodel.”
“Maybe you should wait in the car.”
“Hell no, I'm not missing out on the questioning. This could be an important lead. This Howie guy and Singh are supposed to be friends, right?”
“I don't know if they're friends. I just know Singh tried to find Howie the day before he disappeared.”
“Let's do it.”
As soon as I was through the door to the restaurant I
“It'll be easy because I joined FatBusters last night. I got everything I need to lose weight now. I got a notebook to write in every time I eat something. And I got a FatBusters book that tells me how to do it all. Every single food's got a number assigned to it. All you gotta do is add up those numbers and make sure you don't go over your limit. Like my limit is twenty-nine.”
Lula set the bag on the floor, plopped herself down on the couch, and took out a small notepad. “Okay, here I go,” she said. “This here's my first entry in my notebook. This here's the beginning of a new way of life.”
Connie and I exchanged glances.
“Oh boy,” Connie said.
“I know I've tried diets in the past and they haven't worked out, but this is different,” Lula said. “This one's realistic. That's what they say in the pamphlet. It's not like that last diet where all I could eat was bananas.” She paged through her FatBusters book. “Let's see how I'm doing. No points for coffee.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “You never get plain coffee. I bet that's a caramel mochaccino you're drinking. I bet that's at least four points.”
Lula narrowed her eyes at me. “It says here coffee's got no points and that's what I'm writing. I'm not getting involved with all that detail bullshit.”
“You have anything else for breakfast?” Connie asked.
“I had a egg. Let's see what an egg's gonna cost me. Two points.”
I looked over her shoulder at the book. “Did you cook that egg yourself? Or did you get it on one of those fast-food breakfast sandwiches with sausage and cheese?”
“It was on a sausage and cheese sandwich. But I didn't eat it all.”
“How much didn't you eat?”
Lula flapped her arms. “Okay, I ate it all.”
“That's got to be at least ten points.”
“Hunh,” Lula said. “Well, I still got a lot of points left for the rest of the day. I got nineteen points left.”
“What's in the grocery bag?”
“Vegetables. You don't get any points for vegetables, so you can eat as much as you want.”
“I didn't know you were a big vegetable eater,” Connie said.
“I like beans when you put them in a pan with some bacon. And I like broccoli. . . except it's got to have cheese sauce on it.”
“Bacon and cheese sauce might up your points,” Connie said.
“Yeah, I'm gonna have to wean myself off the bacon and cheese sauce if I want to get to supermodel weight.”
“I'm heading out to look for a guy named Howie. Supposedly he and Singh were buddies,” I said to Connie. “Anything new come in that I should know about?”
“We got a new skip this morning, but Vinnie doesn't want anyone working on anything other than Singh. Vinnie s in a state over this Singh thing.”
“Maybe I should go look for Howie with you,” Lula said. “If I stay here I'll file all day and filing makes me hungry. I don't know if I got enough vegetables for a full day of filing.”
“Bad idea. Howie works at a fast-food place. You have no willpower when it comes to that stuff.”
“No problemo. I'm a changed woman. And anyway, I got my fill of fast food for the day. I had a good fast-food breakfast.”
A half hour later, Lula and I parked in the McDonald's lot. Lula had gone through a bunch of celery and was halfway into a bag of carrots.
“This isn't doing much for me,” she said, “but I guess you gotta sacrifice if you want to be a supermodel.”
“Maybe you should wait in the car.”
“Hell no, I'm not missing out on the questioning. This could be an important lead. This Howie guy and Singh are supposed to be friends, right?”
“I don't know if they're friends. I just know Singh tried to find Howie the day before he disappeared.”
“Let's do it.”
As soon as I was through the door to the restaurant I
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