Read Online 01 - Pongwiffy a Witch of Dirty Habits by Kaye Umansky - (ebook by Undead) - Free Book Online

to speak.” There was immediate silence. For a new boy, Hugo commanded
a great deal of respect. In fact, he was already well on his way to becoming
leader of the Familiars, particularly since Dudley was still on the sick list.
    “My Mistress ’ave an idea. A great idea.”
    “I do? Oh—er—quite right,” agreed Pongwiffy. “You tell them, Hugo. I’m shy.”
And she listened with interest to what her idea was.
    “TALENT CONTEST,” announced Hugo. “Ze Great Talent Contest. Ze vinner vill
vin a vunderful avard vich I vill carve viz mine own paws. I shall call it ze
’Ugo Avard.”
    “Eh? What’s he talking about?” muttered the Witches, having trouble with all
this talk of vinners and avards.
    “He means the best act gets a prize,” translated Pongwiffy. “I think.”
    “Not only zat,” continued Hugo, warming to his subject and ignoring
Pongwiffy, who was trying to shut him up. “As well as prize, ze contest vill be
judged by A Famous Person from ze vorld of show business. Ve vill send out
invitations far and vide. Zis contest vill go down in ’istory!”
    There was an awed silence.
    “Idiot!” hissed Pongwiffy.
    Suddenly, to Pongwiffy’s astonishment, the silence erupted into a storm
of applause. A talent contest! Of course. With an award, and a Famous Person judging
it! What a good idea!
     
    * * *
     
    “It’s a terrible idea, you stupid Hamster!” screamed Pongwiffy, the minute
they were at home and in private. “It’s all very well for you. You go making all
these rash promises, then I’m stuck with the consequences. A Famous Person from
the world of show business my foot. Do you know anyone like that? I’m
sure I don’t. Except for a monkey I once knew who joined a circus, but I believe
he’s retired.”
    “No problem,” said Hugo with a wink. He was sitting in a cracked teacup,
making notes on the back of a postage stamp.
    “Guess ’oo is at zis very moment ’olidaying at ’is castle retreat on ze uzzer
side of Vitchvay Vood.”
    “How should I know? Who?”
    “Scott Sinister. Zat’s ’oo. Zat’ll be anuzzer contribution to ze ’Amsters Are
Angry Cause, pliz.” Hugo had begun charging for Good Ideas.
     

     
    “What?” Pongwiffy ripped the sleeve off her cardigan in her excitement.
“Scott Sinister? The Scott Sinister? Star of a thousand horror movies and my dreamboat?”
    “Ze very same.”
    “Oh, Hugo! Just imagine if Scott Sinister would come and judge our talent
contest! I’d meet him in the flesh! I’ve always loved him, ever since I was a
teenwitch. Oh, Scott, Scott.” Pongwiffy went into a trance, a soppy grin on her
face.
    “Zere you are, zen. No problem.”
    “But how will we get him to agree? I mean, he’s on holiday, isn’t he? He might
not want to. Oh Scott, Scott, I’ve lost you!”
    “Nonsense. Ve persuade him.”
    “How? Gold? He’s so rich he doesn’t need it.”
    “Nein. Sumpsink better. Blackmail.”
    “ Blackmail? Blackmail my Scott?”
    “Ya.”
    Pongwiffy thought about it. “Hmm. Good idea,” she said.
    “Zat’ll be twenty pee,” said Hugo.

 
     
CHAPTER SIX
SCOTT SINISTER
     
     
    Scott Sinister, Famous Star of stage and screen, and Pongwiffy’s dreamboat,
was reclining in a purple silk hammock by the side of the large, coffin-shaped
swimming pool which took up most of the castle grounds. He was wearing a gold
dressing gown with S S embroidered across the front. Expensive (but silly)
sunglasses shaded his Famous Red Eyes, gold chains dripped from his Famous White
Throat, and gold fillings flashed as he picked at his Famous Fangs with a gold
plated tooth pick. His Famous Feet nestled in fur-lined snakeskin slippers, and
diamonds the size of pingpong balls sparkled on his Famous Fingers.
    To one side of him, there was a table piled high with rare delicacies—sweet
pickles from the Lost Isle of Pan Yan, bogberries from the Misty Mountains, mole
flavoured yoghurt, and a great bucket of gorilla ice-cream. On the other