knows how many people heâs betrayed â Dzhugashvili was arrested yesterday. How many more are we going to lose because of King? There is anger, suspicion, resentment â and thatâs my life with my comrades. Then there are the factory owners, the police, the government, Okhrana spies, all of whom would like to see me dead. My life is hellish.â
âThen you must live another life.â
âI canât. I believe in what I am doing.â
âWhat are you doing?â
âWhat am I doing?â He threw me an indignant look. âI am fighting against hypocrisy, thatâs what Iâm doing. Russia is a Christian country. As is Germany, England, France, Spain, the Netherlands, Sweden â Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant, but all Christian countries, and yet millions live in poverty. How do we justify this? How do we explain it? Christianityâs chief distinction is that it softens the human heart. It urges charity, brotherhood and common cause on believers. Yet it tolerates an economic and political system that runs diametrically counter to first impressions of right and wrong. This to me is utterly repugnant. Destroy Christianity. Destroy capitalism and autocracy. Only when hypocrisy is destroyed can there be justice. This is what I am doing, Spethmann.â
âYou have set yourself a very high target.â
âYouâre a doctor. I want you to make my lives possible.â
âYour
lives
?â I said.
âLife. Lives. It feels like Iâm having to live a hundred lives in one body, and itâs killing me. I want you to make my life possible. Can you do that, yes or no?â
âNot if you continue to refuse to work with me.â
Before I could say anything more, he took out his pocket watch and drew in a deep, weary breath. âI have to go,â he said, getting up. He put a hand to his lower back andgrimaced with discomfort. âI have to meet some workers in the naval yards.â
âMinna will make another appointment,â I said, seeing him to the door.
He looked at me with sudden suspicion. âShe doesnât know who I am, does she?â
From the very first, Petrov had insisted on absolute secrecy, fearing the mockery that would result if his enemies discovered he was consulting a psychoanalyst. We used the pseudonym Grischuk in the appointments book and in my notes.
âI have not told Minna,â I said, âbut your face is well known. I canât guarantee she hasnât guessed.â
âBut you said sheâs discreet?â
âShe is discretion itself.â
After Petrov, my next patient was a young clerk at the foreign ministry. Addicted to sex with elderly prostitutes, he liked to scour the poorer quarters for the most degraded women he could find for his purposes. He recounted his activities in forensic and scatological detail. I was always relieved when his hour was up.
That afternoon, while I was making up my notes, Minna came in. âI cannot find Rozentalâs file,â she said. âIâve looked everywhere.â
âI took it home with me last night,â I lied. âIâll bring it in tomorrow.â
âThe files are a terrible mess. Iâve been trying to sort them out all day.â
âIâm sorry,â I said. âI was looking for something and got everything mixed up.â
I wasnât sure Minna believed me and she seemed hurt that I might be holding something back from her.
When sheâd gone, my eye fell on the chessboard and I foundmyself being drawn into the position. It would be a shame not to play for the win, yet I could find no satisfactory continuation. Exchanging on g5, as Lychev had said, was a dead draw.
What was this?
SpethmannâKopelzon
After 35 Rg2. Is this any good?
This wasnât the correct position. What was the rook doing on g2? The table must have been knocked and the piece jolted out of place. I was about to put the
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