Read Online You Play the Black & the Red Comes Up Up by Richard Hallas - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Richard Hallas
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You know how it is. Sometimes at night, trying to sleep, you can think things out so clear; and then in the morning you think different again. And I knew I was right—it was like that money was holding me and once the money was gone I was free again.
So I woke up Mamie.
"Listen—it's okay," I said. "I'll let Patsy have the thousand if she wants it."
She just made some noise or other and went back to sleep. I thought she hadn't heard. But when I woke the next morning I found she' d heard all right. She was cook ing a big breakfast in the kitchenette and was all smiles and telling me how she'd never forget it and how Patsy would be always grateful.
When I walked into the apartment there was Quentin Genter sitting there, and there was Mamie looking proud and pleased, and on the couch was Jira Mayfair. It stopped me like that—a movie star sitting right in the same room with me. I knew those people really existed, but it seems funny when you, meet them and they are really there. It is as if you've dreamed something.
"Hello, Dick," Genter said. "Greetings and salutations. You know Jira, of course, don't you?"
She said howdedo, and shook hands with me. I guess I stood like a dummy.
"Oh, honeyboy," Ma mie said. "Do run down the drug store and get a couple more bottles of Shasta Water. I didn't know we were so low," she said to Jira, "or I would have stocked up."
"Never mind," Genter said. "Now Dick's here, let's all go out and get a drink. We'll pick up Patsy Perisho. I want Jira to meet Patsy."
So we all piled into Genter's car, and the chauffeur drove us to Patsy's apartment. She was there, wearing her robes and busy writing in a penny notebook, but the minute she saw Jira she was ready to come along. She wanted to change, but Genter insisted she come along as she was.
We drove all the way up to Beverly Hills, and Genter took us into a night club.
"Say, this place is too swell for me," I told him.
"Nothing's too swell for you, Richard."
He had a tux on, and I didn't want to go in.
"Nonsense," he said. "You're my friend, and whither I go, there also thou goest—whether it's haywire, native, or the way of all flesh."
We went to the table and the wait ers kept bowing to Gen ter and pulling the chair out for Jira. And they hustled round and pulled the chair out for Patsy. She was getting so that robe and the gold sandals didn't cramp her style at all.
Then Genter got Patsy talking about the Ecanaanomic Plan, and Jira listened all the time. Patsy surprised me the way she could dish it out. She had all the answers ready no matter what you asked her, and when she'd talk she'd get that holy sort of look.
"Didn't I tell you?" Genter said to Jira. "Isn't it as good as I said?"
"It's heavenly," Jira said. "Unbelievably heavenly!"
"It's really terrific. It's Armageddon!" he said. "Don't you think Patsy's absolutely Apocalyptic?"
"If you ask me," I said, "I don't think she knows enough to spell Jesus with a little g. And her nut plan is dumb as she is. Plain goofy crazy, if you ask me.
"That's it," he said. "You've hit it on the head. That's why it will succeed." He dropped his voice so he had that funny excited whisper again. "You see, I'll tell you a secret. No one is sane here. No one is sane and nothing is real. And you know what it is?"
"Sure, it's the climate," I said, kidding.
"That's it—exactly," he said. His eyes were going sort of funny in the middle, and he was shouting in a whisper. He got real excited. "Dick, you know, you're the only man beside me in the whole world who's discovered it. It's the climate—something in the air. You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the ve ry moment they cross those moun tains," he whispered real soft, "they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California, they go insane.
So I woke up Mamie.
"Listen—it's okay," I said. "I'll let Patsy have the thousand if she wants it."
She just made some noise or other and went back to sleep. I thought she hadn't heard. But when I woke the next morning I found she' d heard all right. She was cook ing a big breakfast in the kitchenette and was all smiles and telling me how she'd never forget it and how Patsy would be always grateful.
When I walked into the apartment there was Quentin Genter sitting there, and there was Mamie looking proud and pleased, and on the couch was Jira Mayfair. It stopped me like that—a movie star sitting right in the same room with me. I knew those people really existed, but it seems funny when you, meet them and they are really there. It is as if you've dreamed something.
"Hello, Dick," Genter said. "Greetings and salutations. You know Jira, of course, don't you?"
She said howdedo, and shook hands with me. I guess I stood like a dummy.
"Oh, honeyboy," Ma mie said. "Do run down the drug store and get a couple more bottles of Shasta Water. I didn't know we were so low," she said to Jira, "or I would have stocked up."
"Never mind," Genter said. "Now Dick's here, let's all go out and get a drink. We'll pick up Patsy Perisho. I want Jira to meet Patsy."
So we all piled into Genter's car, and the chauffeur drove us to Patsy's apartment. She was there, wearing her robes and busy writing in a penny notebook, but the minute she saw Jira she was ready to come along. She wanted to change, but Genter insisted she come along as she was.
We drove all the way up to Beverly Hills, and Genter took us into a night club.
"Say, this place is too swell for me," I told him.
"Nothing's too swell for you, Richard."
He had a tux on, and I didn't want to go in.
"Nonsense," he said. "You're my friend, and whither I go, there also thou goest—whether it's haywire, native, or the way of all flesh."
We went to the table and the wait ers kept bowing to Gen ter and pulling the chair out for Jira. And they hustled round and pulled the chair out for Patsy. She was getting so that robe and the gold sandals didn't cramp her style at all.
Then Genter got Patsy talking about the Ecanaanomic Plan, and Jira listened all the time. Patsy surprised me the way she could dish it out. She had all the answers ready no matter what you asked her, and when she'd talk she'd get that holy sort of look.
"Didn't I tell you?" Genter said to Jira. "Isn't it as good as I said?"
"It's heavenly," Jira said. "Unbelievably heavenly!"
"It's really terrific. It's Armageddon!" he said. "Don't you think Patsy's absolutely Apocalyptic?"
"If you ask me," I said, "I don't think she knows enough to spell Jesus with a little g. And her nut plan is dumb as she is. Plain goofy crazy, if you ask me.
"That's it," he said. "You've hit it on the head. That's why it will succeed." He dropped his voice so he had that funny excited whisper again. "You see, I'll tell you a secret. No one is sane here. No one is sane and nothing is real. And you know what it is?"
"Sure, it's the climate," I said, kidding.
"That's it—exactly," he said. His eyes were going sort of funny in the middle, and he was shouting in a whisper. He got real excited. "Dick, you know, you're the only man beside me in the whole world who's discovered it. It's the climate—something in the air. You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the ve ry moment they cross those moun tains," he whispered real soft, "they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California, they go insane.
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