Read Online You Have the Right to Remain Puzzled by Parnell Hall - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Parnell Hall
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10 Room at the top?
14 Hopscotch space
15 Loosen up
16 About, in lawyerspeak
17 88 days on Mercury
18 Consume with gusto
19 Bond in court
20 Start of message
23 Chinese shell food
26 Ahead of time
27 Chilean-born pianist,
Claudio ___
28 Wander about
31 Part 2 of message
34
Z
, as in Zákinthos
38 Falco of “The Sopranos”
39 Unhappy fan, maybe
40 Rock group?
41 Wanton look
42 Part 3 of message
44 Just say no
45 Take the honey and run
46 “Be prepared,” for one
50 “Even if it fails . . .”
52 Part 4 of message
56 July 4 or 5, e.g.
57 Oohed and ___
58 Invasion site of 2003
62 Turkish military title
63 Bump and ___
64 Only
65 Look for
66 Roll-on alternative
67 Had a big mouth
DOWN
1 A question of motive
2 Break ground?
3 Docs’ bloc
4 Long essay
5 Baguette or challah
6 Lutzes and Salchows
7 Tone of voice?
8 Manhandle
9 Industrial show
10 Tripoli’s locale
11 Broadcast booth sign
12 Something extra
13 Set for the BBC
21 “What’s ___ problem?”
22 Ring stone
23 “Doonesbury” square
24 Eat away
25 Bandleader Shaw
28 Spacious
29 Small bills
30 Farming prefix
32 Off-Broadway award
33 Baguette or challah
34 Animal behavior expert
35 Mistake
36 U. of Maryland athletes
37 Thus far
43 In stitches
44 Unknown John or Jane
46 King with a golden touch
47 Old enough
48 Tax of a tenth
49 Fine-tune
50 Battleground
51 Hot alcoholic drink
53 Acts like a shrew
54 Ballpark cover
55 Sound from a fan
59 “Winnie-the-Pooh” baby
60 Part of “snafu”
61 End-of-proof letters
M IMI COULDN’T BELIEVE her good fortune. Her husband was taking it like a prince. An absolute prince. Chuck had seemed in a cranky mood when he got home. But when he saw the dent in the car, he couldn’t have been nicer. Mimi knew why. The puzzle softened him up. But not the puzzle itself. The fact that she’d gone to the trouble to get it for him. Gone so far as to ask the Puzzle Lady. A famous person. A professional. It was like asking a doctor for a diagnosis at a party. It simply wasn’t done. But she’d done it. And how it had paid off! Chuck had gone from testy and irritable to virtually calm. He’d read the poem, seen the damage, and that was that. Mimi shuddered to think what his reaction might have been if he hadn’t read the poem.
It was a shame nobody knew. It occurred to Mimi that, like most selfless gifts, it would go unnoticed. Shewished she could do something about that. Let people know what a savior Cora had been. Cora was famous, yes, but not noted for her good deeds. And stars got such bad press. The tabloids Mimi read on line in the supermarket each week—but of course never deigned to buy—owed their existence to the public’s opinion of the foibles of the rich and famous. Celebrities were notorious, always censured, never praised. Any act of generosity went unappreciated. Which was so unfair. If a star visited a children’s hospital, either no one knew, or it was regarded cynically as a photo op.
Mimi picked up the crossword puzzle from the desk. It occurred to her she could take it to the paper, give them a human interest story. They’d surely run it, what with it being about Bakerhaven’s most famous citizen.
Except Chuck had taken the car. He’d been in such a good mood, he’d kissed her and gone out. That didn’t sound right. But he deserved a night out with the boys after her wrecking the car and all that. So she was stuck at home. And Darlene was asleep. Mimi couldn’t go anywhere until the baby woke up. Even if she called a cab.
Wait a minute. Chuck had a fax machine. She never used it, and he hardly ever did, but there was one in his study. She wondered if she could figure out how it worked. Chided herself for the thought. In this day and age, not to know how to send a fax!
Mimi grabbed the puzzle off the coffee table, went into the study. The fax machine was on a stand next to the desk. It had a telephone receiver, and way too many buttons. Well, some of them were the same as on a telephone. Others said
10 Room at the top?
14 Hopscotch space
15 Loosen up
16 About, in lawyerspeak
17 88 days on Mercury
18 Consume with gusto
19 Bond in court
20 Start of message
23 Chinese shell food
26 Ahead of time
27 Chilean-born pianist,
Claudio ___
28 Wander about
31 Part 2 of message
34
Z
, as in Zákinthos
38 Falco of “The Sopranos”
39 Unhappy fan, maybe
40 Rock group?
41 Wanton look
42 Part 3 of message
44 Just say no
45 Take the honey and run
46 “Be prepared,” for one
50 “Even if it fails . . .”
52 Part 4 of message
56 July 4 or 5, e.g.
57 Oohed and ___
58 Invasion site of 2003
62 Turkish military title
63 Bump and ___
64 Only
65 Look for
66 Roll-on alternative
67 Had a big mouth
DOWN
1 A question of motive
2 Break ground?
3 Docs’ bloc
4 Long essay
5 Baguette or challah
6 Lutzes and Salchows
7 Tone of voice?
8 Manhandle
9 Industrial show
10 Tripoli’s locale
11 Broadcast booth sign
12 Something extra
13 Set for the BBC
21 “What’s ___ problem?”
22 Ring stone
23 “Doonesbury” square
24 Eat away
25 Bandleader Shaw
28 Spacious
29 Small bills
30 Farming prefix
32 Off-Broadway award
33 Baguette or challah
34 Animal behavior expert
35 Mistake
36 U. of Maryland athletes
37 Thus far
43 In stitches
44 Unknown John or Jane
46 King with a golden touch
47 Old enough
48 Tax of a tenth
49 Fine-tune
50 Battleground
51 Hot alcoholic drink
53 Acts like a shrew
54 Ballpark cover
55 Sound from a fan
59 “Winnie-the-Pooh” baby
60 Part of “snafu”
61 End-of-proof letters
M IMI COULDN’T BELIEVE her good fortune. Her husband was taking it like a prince. An absolute prince. Chuck had seemed in a cranky mood when he got home. But when he saw the dent in the car, he couldn’t have been nicer. Mimi knew why. The puzzle softened him up. But not the puzzle itself. The fact that she’d gone to the trouble to get it for him. Gone so far as to ask the Puzzle Lady. A famous person. A professional. It was like asking a doctor for a diagnosis at a party. It simply wasn’t done. But she’d done it. And how it had paid off! Chuck had gone from testy and irritable to virtually calm. He’d read the poem, seen the damage, and that was that. Mimi shuddered to think what his reaction might have been if he hadn’t read the poem.
It was a shame nobody knew. It occurred to Mimi that, like most selfless gifts, it would go unnoticed. Shewished she could do something about that. Let people know what a savior Cora had been. Cora was famous, yes, but not noted for her good deeds. And stars got such bad press. The tabloids Mimi read on line in the supermarket each week—but of course never deigned to buy—owed their existence to the public’s opinion of the foibles of the rich and famous. Celebrities were notorious, always censured, never praised. Any act of generosity went unappreciated. Which was so unfair. If a star visited a children’s hospital, either no one knew, or it was regarded cynically as a photo op.
Mimi picked up the crossword puzzle from the desk. It occurred to her she could take it to the paper, give them a human interest story. They’d surely run it, what with it being about Bakerhaven’s most famous citizen.
Except Chuck had taken the car. He’d been in such a good mood, he’d kissed her and gone out. That didn’t sound right. But he deserved a night out with the boys after her wrecking the car and all that. So she was stuck at home. And Darlene was asleep. Mimi couldn’t go anywhere until the baby woke up. Even if she called a cab.
Wait a minute. Chuck had a fax machine. She never used it, and he hardly ever did, but there was one in his study. She wondered if she could figure out how it worked. Chided herself for the thought. In this day and age, not to know how to send a fax!
Mimi grabbed the puzzle off the coffee table, went into the study. The fax machine was on a stand next to the desk. It had a telephone receiver, and way too many buttons. Well, some of them were the same as on a telephone. Others said
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