Read Online Written in the Stars by Ali Harris - Free Book Online Page B

‘It’s OK to take a gamble for once in your life!’
    ‘Like I tried to on marriage?’ I say wryly.
    Cal’s smile fades. ‘Adam wasn’t a risk, Bea. You know he was the most stable thing you’ve ever had in your life.’ He rubs his hand over his forehead and across the crown of his springy hair.
    ‘I know.’
    ‘So why leave him then?’ he says in exasperation. ‘It doesn’t make any sense!’ He pauses and glances down at the bag of coins. Then he takes one out and flips it. ‘Except, of course, because of Kieran Blake . . .’ He slams the coin onto his hand and looks up at me confrontationally. ‘Heads or tails? Kieran or Adam . . . was that it?’
    ‘It wasn’t like that, Cal. You have to believe me when I say that! I had no idea he’d be there. None at all!’ He stares at me and I crumble. ‘OK! I admit seeing him threw me but you know I’d been having doubts long before that. I just . . . I just . . . don’t think I’m cut out for marriage. You must understand that?’ I look at Cal pointedly. He’s been with Lucy for nearly ten years, they have two kids together and they’ve never got married. We always joke that Dad’s leaving didn’t make us commitment phobes, just marriage phobes. That seems even truer now.
    ‘I suppose so,’ he concedes. ‘But I didn’t leave Lucy standing at the end of the aisle like an idiot.’
    ‘Well, maybe you haven’t spent most of your life hoping that Dad would be there to give you away on your wedding day!’
    ‘Oh sis,’ Cal slides his arm around me and rests his head on mine. ‘When will you accept that he’s never coming back?’
    I bite my lip. I feed two-pence pieces into the machine and watch as each drops onto the shelf and disappears. ‘Don’t you ever feel like there’s something missing? A big part of you that means you’ll never feel complete until you find it?’
    Cal shakes his head. ‘No, I don’t. I have everything I need in Loni, you, Lucy and the kids. Why should I spare a second thinking about some stranger who walked out on us without a backward glance?’
    ‘But Loni was the one who told him to leave!’
    ‘But he was the weak, pathetic man who accepted it and never came back! He didn’t exactly fight for us, did he?’ Cal slams the side of the machine with his hand, making me jump. ‘Come on, Bea, is this really what yesterday was all about? Our dad who left over twenty years ago?’
    My eyes are brimming with tears as I persist with my line of questioning. ‘But surely you’ve wondered if we’re like him?’
    ‘I bloody well hope not,’ Cal says vehemently.
    Cal and I have always had an opposing stance on the decisions our parents made. I have always – not exactly blamed Loni – but certainly accepted her admission that she was totally responsible for Dad leaving. Apparently, he made it clear that he wanted her to be a traditional wife and mother. He couldn’t handle her desire for a career and a life outside the home. She soon realised they wanted very different things out of life. So she told him to leave.
    ‘Maybe I’ve always been more like Dad than you, maybe I was destined to leave my family too . . .’
    ‘Don’t be ridic—’ Cal begins but I carry on.
    ‘. . . but I did it before anyone could get really hurt. Adam will get over yesterday. He’ll move on,’ I say dully, feeling a shard of pain even as I say the words. ‘I guarantee he’ll have a new girlfriend before the year is out. But if we’d got married, had kids, well . . . history often repeats itself, doesn’t it? I’ve just accepted my destiny a bit earlier than Dad did . . .’
    ‘You’d never have left your family, Bea,’ Cal says quietly. ‘I know you.’
    ‘Then you know why I think I’m better off alone,’ I say. ‘People like me always are.’
    Cal grasps my arms and stares into my eyes. ‘You know what I think? I think you’re a better person than you think you are. I think you’re capable of loving and being