Read Online Wonderland by Rob Browatzke - Free Book Online Page A

room and we sat down on the bed. I couldn’t help but notice his dick flop out of his towel. It was as beautiful as I remembered it.
    â€œSo why are you here, if you have a boyfriend?”
    â€œWe’re going through something.”
    â€œSo you thought this would help?”
    â€œNo, that’s not it.”
    â€œWell, it doesn’t matter. It was a treat running into you. I’ve missed you.” He put his hand on my leg. It felt good, and not from the E. Six years we’d been together.
    â€œIt’s nice seeing you, too.” We sipped our drinks. It was eleven-thirty, I saw on my phone, so he should be calling back soon.
    â€œHow long have you been together?”
    â€œA while now. What about you?” I asked, desperate to change the subject. “Anyone special?”
    â€œIf there was, would I be here?” He paused. “Sorry, I’m not judging.”
    â€œYes you are.”
    â€œMaybe a bit.”
    â€œIt’s complicated.”
    â€œIt always is with you, Alex. You can’t ever let things be simple.”
    â€œHow do you know it’s my fault?”
    â€œI just assumed.”
    â€œWell don’t.”
    â€œSo it’s him?
    â€œLook, I don’t want to talk about it.”
    â€œI’m okay with not talking too.” He moved in to kiss me. I pushed him back.
    â€œAaron, I can’t . . .”
    â€œWhat’s the big deal? We already fooled around.” He took my hand, put it on his dick. He was hard again. “I want to fuck you.” His voice was husky, like how he got when he was horny. I remembered all the times he’d used that voice on me. I’d never been able to say no to it. We were practically naked, in a bathhouse, and we’d already done so much, and it wasn’t my fault, I hadn’t wanted to be here.
    He leaned in to kiss me again. I didn’t push him off.

Chapter 17
    D rugs and sex. They went together in my head, even after six clean(ish) months with Steven. Back in college, just coming out and ready to explore what being gay was all about, it was nothing to go out, get fucked up, get fucked, and do it all over again the next day. Booze, coke, E, it was all a blur, and the boys and their bodies and their bulges and their butts, that was a blur too.
    When Aaron and I started dating, it was good-bye to that lifestyle, and at the time, I was happy to see it go. But as the relationship became boring and predictable, I looked back on those younger days with increasing fondness. The morning-after panicking over whether we’d played safe, the throb of the hangover as I tried to remember his face, the shame that would hit me out of the blue sometimes, all of that got glossed over, and I just remembered how fun it was.
    When Aaron and I split, and I moved, I wasn’t ready to plunge back into that world, but then came last Pride. Dinah and I went to the parade and got caught up in the rainbow celebration of it all, and for some reason, I decided to (re)download Grindr while we were at the beer gardens. BING! BING! BING! My phone went mad—nothing like being fresh meat in a sea of horny, hungry homos—and they were all just feet away! I messaged one back, a sexy Spanish-looking guy, and we made plans to meet up at his place. I ditched Dinah ASAP (friends over fucks, unless it’s Pride, right?). When I got to the guy’s place, he asked if I partied. It had been a while, but sure, why not?
    And that’s how I met the Caterpillar. He came over, in the same jacket he always wore, some cross between ringmaster and pimp daddy. After he left, Hunky Spaniard and I dumped out some blow and then got to blowing, making sure we were flying high but not high enough for coke dick. Before I left, for some reason, I asked for the Caterpillar’s number.
    I had called a few times after that. I wasn’t in the mood for bars or parties or Grindr hookups, but sometimes, after a long week at