Read Online Women by Charles Bukowski - Free Book Online Page B

you.”
    Renny walked over to the stove. Dee Dee picked up an egg. “You see, you just break the shell against the side of the pan . . . like this . . . and let the egg fall out of the shell into the pan . . . like this. . . .”
    “Oh …”
    “It’s simple.”
    “And how do you cook it?”
    “We fry it. In butter.”
    “Mommy, I can’t eat that egg.”
    “Why?”
    “Because the yoke is broken!”
    Dee Dee turned around and looked at me. Her eyes said, “Hank, don’t say a goddamned word. . . .”
    A few mornings later found us all in the breakfast nook again. We were eating while the maid worked in the kitchen. Dee Dee said to Renny, “You’ve got your bike now. I want you to pick up a 6-pack sometime today. When I get home I want a Coke or two to drink.”
    “But, Mommy, those Cokes are heavy! Can’t you get them?”
    “Renny, I work all day and I’m tired. You get the Cokes.”
    “But, Mommy, there’s a hill. I’ll have to pedal over the hill.”
    “There’s no hill. What hill?”
    “Well, you can’t see it with your eyes, but it’s there. . . .”
    “Renny, you get those Cokes, understand?”
    Renny got up, walked to his bedroom and slammed the door. Dee Dee looked away. “He’s testing me. He wants to see if I love him.”
    “I’ll get the Cokes,” I said.
    “That’s all right,” said Dee Dee, “I’ll get them.”
    Finally, none of us got them. . . .
    Dee Dee and I were at my place a few days later picking up the mail and looking around when the phone rang. It was Lydia. “Hi,” she said, “I’m in Utah.”
    “I got your note,” I said.
    “How are you doing?” she asked.
    “Everything’s all right.”
    “Utah’s nice in the summer. You ought to come up here. We’ll go camping. All my sisters are here.”
    “I can’t get away right now.”
    “Why?”
    “Well, I’m with Dee Dee.”
    “Dee Dee?”
    “Well, yes . . .”
    “I knew you’d use that phone number,” she said. “I told you you’d use that number!”
    Dee Dee was standing next to me. “Please tell her,” she said, “to give me until September.”
    “Forget her,” Lydia said. “To hell with her. You come up here and see me.”
    “I can’t drop everything just because you phone. Besides,” I said, “I’m giving Dee Dee until September.”
    “September?”
    “Yes.”
    Lydia screamed. It was a long loud scream. Then she hung up.
    After that Dee Dee kept me away from my place. Once, while we were at my place going over the mail, I noticed the phone off the hook. “Never do that again,” I told her.
    Dee Dee took me for long rides up and down the coast. She took me on trips to the mountains. We went to garage sales, to movies, to rock concerts, to churches, to friends, to dinners and lunches, to magic shows, picnics and circuses. Her friends photographed us together.
    The trip to Catalina was horrible. I waited with Dee Dee on the dock. I was really hungover. Dee Dee got me an Alka-Seltzer and a glass of water. The only thing that helped was a young girl sitting across from us. She had a beautiful body, long good legs, and she wore a mini-skirt. With the mini-skirt she wore long stockings, a garter belt, and she had on pink panties under the red skirt. She even wore high heeled shoes.
    “You’re looking at her, aren’t you?” asked Dee Dee.
    “I can’t stop.”
    “She’s a slut.”
    “Sure.”
    The slut got up and played pinball, wiggling her behind to help the balls fall in. Then she sat back down, showing more than ever.
    The seaplane came in, unloaded, and then we stood out on the dock and waited to board. The seaplane was red, of 1936 vintage, had two propellers, one pilot and 8 or 10 seats.
    If I don’t puke in that thing, I thought, I will have fooled the world.
    The girl in the mini-skirt wasn’t getting on.
    Why was it that every time you saw a woman like that you were always with another woman?
    We got on, strapped ourselves in.
    “Oh,” said Dee Dee, “I’m so excited!