Read Online Wishful Thinking by Jemma Harvey - Free Book Online Page B

can’t have a clandestine affair without it.’ She scrutinised her latest message in complete bewilderment. ‘Can you read text?’
    I gazed doubtfully at a jumble of letters and numbers.
    â€˜The dyslexia doesn’t help,’ Georgie conceded. ‘Still, spelling doesn’t matter in text.’
    â€˜He’s never opened a book,’ I said, unreasonably irritated. ‘He only looks at the pictures.’
    â€˜We don’t need books,’ Georgie retorted. ‘We’ve got Real Life.’
    In bed, inevitably, they began to talk. You can’t have sex all the time, and in between there are those moments when you stop, sip alcohol of some sort, and it’s dangerously easy to open up. Cal isn’t a verbal communicator: he expresses himself through images. But when Georgie wants to be sympathetic she could get a corkscrew to unwind or coax a confession from a hardened criminal. ‘You’re a terrific lover,’ she told him, flattering with sincerity. ‘I can’t think why Christine doesn’t appreciate it. It seems such a waste. I know you said the other day she had a medical problem after Jamie was born . . .’
    â€˜Sort of.’
    â€˜I don’t believe you. That was years ago. If there was anything wrong, the doctors would’ve fixed it. Can’t you tell me the truth now?’ And, very gently: ‘Is it so difficult?’
    â€˜Jamie . . . was premature. Things went wrong. That’s why he – why he was handicapped. I didn’t understand the technical details. They said it didn’t have anything to do with . . . You see, Christy didn’t want sex when she was very pregnant. She said she felt fat and ugly. I liked it – I liked stroking her stomach, feeling the baby in there. Our baby. I wanted to be close to her, inside her, part of it. I shouldn’t have done it, I shouldn’t have thrust so hard . . . She thought that started the contractions. Having sex. She thought that was why the baby came early. Why he was handicapped.’
    â€˜She blamed you?’ Georgie whispered.
    â€˜No. Not blamed. She just wouldn’t do it any more. She said she couldn’t. She tried, but she hated it. More each time.’
    â€˜Has she had therapy?’
    â€˜She tried that too,’ Cal said, ‘but it didn’t last.’
    â€˜It almost sounds as if she didn’t want to get over the problem,’ Georgie mused cautiously, tiptoeing on eggshells. ‘Did she like sex before , or—?’
    â€˜She seemed to like it,’ Cal said. ‘We did it enough.’
    â€˜What I’m saying,’ said Georgie, ‘is that if she didn’t have a high sex drive, or if she saw sex simply as the necessary route to having children, maybe, subconsciously, she wanted an excuse to stop. Whatever. It wasn’t your fault. You have to take some responsibility – maybe you should have given her more orgasms—’
    â€˜How do you know I didn’t?’
    â€˜I know.’ She snuggled up, kissing the hollow of his shoulder.
    He softened. ‘Okay. I was twenty-one when we started dating. I wasn’t much good in bed then. Too inexperienced.’
    â€˜You’ve improved,’ she said. ‘We all start out young, ignorant if not innocent. When I was seventeen I thought I knew everything just because I’d read the right books. You don’t need to feel—’
    â€˜Guilty? I don’t feel guilty.’
    â€˜I was going to say inadequate.’
    â€˜Do you think I’m inadequate?’
    Her hand moved down. ‘Oh no. Very adequate . . .’
    Some time later, coming up for air, he said: ‘What about your marriage? You said he was an alcoholic. Was that what finished it?’
    And so Georgie told him her story, and as their intimacy developed mentally, so their physical intimacy intensified. At the