Sanderson.
He thought he had it all until he met Sara and that’s when he realized he wasn’t even close. She was so different from the shallow floozies who threw themselves at him that it shook him to the core. Her natural beauty, kindness, and decency, consumed him. He knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life if he couldn’t spend it with her.
Marriage or serious relationships in his line of work weren’t prohibited, but there was an unwritten rule. An understanding that it was strongly discouraged. Few operators successfully pulled it off, but John thought he was different. He thought he could walk the line and perform the ultimate juggling act. A top-ranked professional and the model family man. After four years, he finally allowed the doubt to creep in. And they were still trying to have a baby, for Chrissake.
Sara had changed. She’d become increasingly angry and bitter and he was to blame. He taken the sweet girl he’d met at the market five years ago and ruined her by trying to hold her in a gilded cage, surrounded by nothing but lies, deceit, and expensive furniture. He hated himself for it.
John ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his eyes. He knew he had to follow her into the bedroom and talk to her. It’s how the game was played. She loses her temper, storms off, and he follows a moment later. She lashes out in anger and says things she doesn’t mean. He carefully analyzes the venom from her mouth, pinpoints what’s really upsetting her, and he says what she wants to hear. Eventually she feels guilty, apologizes, and once and a while it ends up in some pretty good makeup sex.
The temptation to just fall over on the sofa and go to sleep was overwhelming. He probably would’ve, if not for another slam coming from behind the bedroom door. Sounded like one of the dresser drawers. He sighed and got to his feet.
John paused at the bedroom door and put his hand on the knob. Sara, I killed a police officer this afternoon. He was just a kid trying to do his job and I murdered him because I fucked up and he happened to be close by. So you’ll understand if I really don’t give a shit that your mom is getting kicked out of her apartment right now.
He opened the door. “Sara, I’m sorry…”
It’s how the game was played.
Chapter 10
Life for Hank moved slowly. His days were simplified and mundane, compared to the world he left behind. He rose each morning, worked his shift, ate bland meals, read bland books, and watched bland television. He tried his best to keep his mind engaged and stay busy, but thoughts of his family and the outside world crept in when he let his guard down.
As days turned into weeks, he settled into the routine of his new life and his world seemed to shrink with every passing day. When Hank was a little kid, it was still common for life sentences for those who committed serious crimes. He’d hear a story of say, an eighteen year old kid, who committed murder and was sentenced to the rest of his life behind bars. Hank wondered how that kid could possibly process the fact he would be stuck behind the same walls for the rest of his days.
Now he could relate. Whenever Hank focused on the big picture, the thought of never leaving the commons, never going outside again, he sunk into such a deep depression it was almost too much to bear. So he focused on the present. Took it day by day until he didn’t need to put an effort into doing so. He made friends, got used to his duties, and learned to enjoy the small luxuries and comforts life in the plant had to offer.
Despite making peace with his new life for the most part, he still missed Peg and Sara terribly. He tried to come to terms with the fact he’d never see them again but it wasn’t quite the same as grieving for a loved one who passed away. If Peg or Sara died then he’d never see them again. Case closed. One hundred percent guaranteed. But just the fact that he knew they were out there, living their
He thought he had it all until he met Sara and that’s when he realized he wasn’t even close. She was so different from the shallow floozies who threw themselves at him that it shook him to the core. Her natural beauty, kindness, and decency, consumed him. He knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life if he couldn’t spend it with her.
Marriage or serious relationships in his line of work weren’t prohibited, but there was an unwritten rule. An understanding that it was strongly discouraged. Few operators successfully pulled it off, but John thought he was different. He thought he could walk the line and perform the ultimate juggling act. A top-ranked professional and the model family man. After four years, he finally allowed the doubt to creep in. And they were still trying to have a baby, for Chrissake.
Sara had changed. She’d become increasingly angry and bitter and he was to blame. He taken the sweet girl he’d met at the market five years ago and ruined her by trying to hold her in a gilded cage, surrounded by nothing but lies, deceit, and expensive furniture. He hated himself for it.
John ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his eyes. He knew he had to follow her into the bedroom and talk to her. It’s how the game was played. She loses her temper, storms off, and he follows a moment later. She lashes out in anger and says things she doesn’t mean. He carefully analyzes the venom from her mouth, pinpoints what’s really upsetting her, and he says what she wants to hear. Eventually she feels guilty, apologizes, and once and a while it ends up in some pretty good makeup sex.
The temptation to just fall over on the sofa and go to sleep was overwhelming. He probably would’ve, if not for another slam coming from behind the bedroom door. Sounded like one of the dresser drawers. He sighed and got to his feet.
John paused at the bedroom door and put his hand on the knob. Sara, I killed a police officer this afternoon. He was just a kid trying to do his job and I murdered him because I fucked up and he happened to be close by. So you’ll understand if I really don’t give a shit that your mom is getting kicked out of her apartment right now.
He opened the door. “Sara, I’m sorry…”
It’s how the game was played.
Chapter 10
Life for Hank moved slowly. His days were simplified and mundane, compared to the world he left behind. He rose each morning, worked his shift, ate bland meals, read bland books, and watched bland television. He tried his best to keep his mind engaged and stay busy, but thoughts of his family and the outside world crept in when he let his guard down.
As days turned into weeks, he settled into the routine of his new life and his world seemed to shrink with every passing day. When Hank was a little kid, it was still common for life sentences for those who committed serious crimes. He’d hear a story of say, an eighteen year old kid, who committed murder and was sentenced to the rest of his life behind bars. Hank wondered how that kid could possibly process the fact he would be stuck behind the same walls for the rest of his days.
Now he could relate. Whenever Hank focused on the big picture, the thought of never leaving the commons, never going outside again, he sunk into such a deep depression it was almost too much to bear. So he focused on the present. Took it day by day until he didn’t need to put an effort into doing so. He made friends, got used to his duties, and learned to enjoy the small luxuries and comforts life in the plant had to offer.
Despite making peace with his new life for the most part, he still missed Peg and Sara terribly. He tried to come to terms with the fact he’d never see them again but it wasn’t quite the same as grieving for a loved one who passed away. If Peg or Sara died then he’d never see them again. Case closed. One hundred percent guaranteed. But just the fact that he knew they were out there, living their
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