childhood, he wouldn’t know who he had been.
We were still swimming, slowly. The sea was glassy and warm. ‘Bits come back to me,’ Hannu said. ‘Sometimes I think I can remember, then I think what I remember are the stories my dad told me. Most of my memories now are made up from old photographs. But you see, Niilo, he gave me my story. I had lost it. It’s like I lost myself, and he gave me back to myself.’ He gave me that funny look again, like he was thinking of me and my lost story. ‘Anyway, we better head back now. Race you to the rock.’
He took off and I swam after him. But I couldn’t stopthinking of Hannu losing his memory. And black ice on the road to Helsinki. Of the car he was so proud of, skidding. Swerving out of control. Of his dad telling him who he was.
Who was I? That’s what I wanted to know. Or maybe I didn’t. I thrashed my legs, forgot about everything and pushed forward through the water with all my might. Maybe Hannu slowed down deliberately, but we touched the craggy rock at the same moment. I was panting and gasping like mad. ‘I won!’ I shouted.
‘It was a draw,’ Hannu said, hoisting himself up to sit on a flat patch of rock. I saw the way he watched me clamber up after him and I swallowed hard. In the past I would have insisted I’d won. I might have grabbed the nearest thing and thrown it. I would have made a major fuss. On this rock in the sea there was nothing to throw. The car door had wedged into his back … I couldn’t get that image out of my head. Hannu kept staring at me, and I chewed my lip and pulled at my hair. Then I hoisted myself up and plonked myself down beside him.
‘Okay,’ I agreed, ‘it was a draw.’ I let my breathing slow down. ‘That’s one impressive scar,’ I said.
Hannu nodded. ‘I suppose so. I forget it’s there most of the time. I put it behind me.’ He laughed, like he had just made a joke. It wasn’t that funny, but I laughed too.
When the laughter died away we sat on that rock out at sea, saying nothing. Gulls wheeled above. I watched the Wild School island. From the rock it was just a huddle ofpine and birch trees and the top of a red-brick building. Beyond that island I could see bumps in the sea. Those were more of the jewels Hannu talked about. More of the archipelago. And here and there small yachts glided past.
‘I don’t get it.’ I turned to look at Hannu and frowned. ‘Like, I’ve learnt to swim, and, for God’s sake – make jam! I know about nettles, berries, weeding and planting seeds. I can cut the top off a strawberry and know the difference between a pine tree and a birch tree but, seriously, is that it? It’s supposed to be a school, isn’t it?’ I shrugged. ‘I mean, I’ve been here ages.’ I flicked my hand towards the island. Drops of sea water spun through the air. ‘I thought I was here to learn stuff.’
Hannu nodded. ‘I suppose that’s the idea.’
‘Like, maths and stuff,’ I went on when Hannu said nothing.
‘Yeah,’ Hannu nodded. ‘Maths and stuff.’ He laughed then, a soft kind of laugh. I laughed too. It all felt like a big joke.
‘What is the Wild School anyway, some education experiment in nature for the seriously disturbed?’
‘That’s one way of putting it.’
‘And are my parents actually paying for this? For me to make jam?’ I laughed again, suddenly picturing myself going back home with suitcases packed with jars of jam.
Hannu laughed too. ‘The government pays most. This kind of education isn’t cheap, Niilo. But yes, your dad pays towards it. He said he wanted to help you.’
I couldn’t believe that. He wanted rid of me, but with the sea all around me, and my muscles feeling alive with all the swimming, I didn’t care. ‘I keep wondering when the proper lessons are going to start.’ I didn’t look at Hannu when I said that, I just gazed out to the sea.
‘Personally,’ Hannu said, ‘I think maths is overrated.’ He laughed again. ‘I find
We were still swimming, slowly. The sea was glassy and warm. ‘Bits come back to me,’ Hannu said. ‘Sometimes I think I can remember, then I think what I remember are the stories my dad told me. Most of my memories now are made up from old photographs. But you see, Niilo, he gave me my story. I had lost it. It’s like I lost myself, and he gave me back to myself.’ He gave me that funny look again, like he was thinking of me and my lost story. ‘Anyway, we better head back now. Race you to the rock.’
He took off and I swam after him. But I couldn’t stopthinking of Hannu losing his memory. And black ice on the road to Helsinki. Of the car he was so proud of, skidding. Swerving out of control. Of his dad telling him who he was.
Who was I? That’s what I wanted to know. Or maybe I didn’t. I thrashed my legs, forgot about everything and pushed forward through the water with all my might. Maybe Hannu slowed down deliberately, but we touched the craggy rock at the same moment. I was panting and gasping like mad. ‘I won!’ I shouted.
‘It was a draw,’ Hannu said, hoisting himself up to sit on a flat patch of rock. I saw the way he watched me clamber up after him and I swallowed hard. In the past I would have insisted I’d won. I might have grabbed the nearest thing and thrown it. I would have made a major fuss. On this rock in the sea there was nothing to throw. The car door had wedged into his back … I couldn’t get that image out of my head. Hannu kept staring at me, and I chewed my lip and pulled at my hair. Then I hoisted myself up and plonked myself down beside him.
‘Okay,’ I agreed, ‘it was a draw.’ I let my breathing slow down. ‘That’s one impressive scar,’ I said.
Hannu nodded. ‘I suppose so. I forget it’s there most of the time. I put it behind me.’ He laughed, like he had just made a joke. It wasn’t that funny, but I laughed too.
When the laughter died away we sat on that rock out at sea, saying nothing. Gulls wheeled above. I watched the Wild School island. From the rock it was just a huddle ofpine and birch trees and the top of a red-brick building. Beyond that island I could see bumps in the sea. Those were more of the jewels Hannu talked about. More of the archipelago. And here and there small yachts glided past.
‘I don’t get it.’ I turned to look at Hannu and frowned. ‘Like, I’ve learnt to swim, and, for God’s sake – make jam! I know about nettles, berries, weeding and planting seeds. I can cut the top off a strawberry and know the difference between a pine tree and a birch tree but, seriously, is that it? It’s supposed to be a school, isn’t it?’ I shrugged. ‘I mean, I’ve been here ages.’ I flicked my hand towards the island. Drops of sea water spun through the air. ‘I thought I was here to learn stuff.’
Hannu nodded. ‘I suppose that’s the idea.’
‘Like, maths and stuff,’ I went on when Hannu said nothing.
‘Yeah,’ Hannu nodded. ‘Maths and stuff.’ He laughed then, a soft kind of laugh. I laughed too. It all felt like a big joke.
‘What is the Wild School anyway, some education experiment in nature for the seriously disturbed?’
‘That’s one way of putting it.’
‘And are my parents actually paying for this? For me to make jam?’ I laughed again, suddenly picturing myself going back home with suitcases packed with jars of jam.
Hannu laughed too. ‘The government pays most. This kind of education isn’t cheap, Niilo. But yes, your dad pays towards it. He said he wanted to help you.’
I couldn’t believe that. He wanted rid of me, but with the sea all around me, and my muscles feeling alive with all the swimming, I didn’t care. ‘I keep wondering when the proper lessons are going to start.’ I didn’t look at Hannu when I said that, I just gazed out to the sea.
‘Personally,’ Hannu said, ‘I think maths is overrated.’ He laughed again. ‘I find
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