and well.
He had the territory from his cousin Green Bean Ractic. Green Bean killed two birds with one rockhead. He found a relative a job and he put the patch in the hands of a guy who didn’t have imagination enough to skim.
Squint Vrolet didn’t even have imagination enough to take advantage of the fact that he was a known gangster.
“I talk to myself, Squint. Because I know somebody who cares is listening.”
Squint squinted. It was his signature move. “That’s right. You don’t got that frickin’ parrot no more? Them elves done conned you out of him.”
“Somebody ran a con on somebody, Squint. So what’s your take on tonight? Is it true, Chodo’s gonna retire and leave everything to his kid?”
Squint gawked. “I never heard that. Hey! Great to see you, G. But I got to go see a man about a dog.” He headed straight for his cousin Green Bean instead of the garderobes, though.
Melondie Kadare told me, “That was mean, Garrett.”
“When he comes to double-check if he heard right, I’ll twist it around.”
“Why torment him?”
“I’m not. I’m messing with Green Bean. He’ll be sure Squint heard something important but got it twisted between his ears and his mouth.”
“That’s still cruel.”
“Don’t you do that to me?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure. I can think of more amusing ways to mess with you. One of your sweeties drops by. Say, Tinnie Tate. I slide in and whisper some other honey’s name in the redhead’s ear at just the right time …”
“That don’t sound like fun.”
“Not for you. I’d laugh till I puked and my wings fell off. Tinnie’s too good for you, anyway … Whoa! Peace! Just teasing. You’d better mingle. So that something unexpected doesn’t happen.”
“You might think about getting in the psychic racket.”
Belinda turned. She’d changed clothes again, to something more businesslike. “I sent that woman to the Bledsoe. Under my name. Would you check on her tomorrow? Make sure they’re really treating her?”
“Sure.” So she expected me to have a tomorrow. Good to know.
“What do you think happened?” she asked. “I don’t. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“You think there’s something strange going on?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“Garrett, don’t do that. I’m not in the mood. I feel this getting out of hand before it even starts.”
“All right, yes. There’s something strange going on. I just figured you were behind it.”
“There’re rats everywhere. There weren’t any when I looked at the place. And there’s your kittens. Cute and friendly buggers, but still cats. You shouldn’t have brought them. And, I swear, I even saw pixies from the corner of my eye. Only they weren’t there when I looked.”
That was the essence of pixie. Delivering more annoyance than a gaggle of mosquitoes. “Watch my back, Garrett.”
“I always do.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a lovely back.”
“You’re full of shit. But I like it. I think.”
Moments later, Melondie Kadare sneered, “It’s such a lovely back? Could you be any more lame?”
“I wasn’t at my best. I was distracted. I had a big-ass bug buzzing in my ear. And a lovely back to contemplate.”
Miss Kadare bit me on the aforementioned ear. “You’re lucky I’m not your size.”
15
The celebration got started. It rolled along just fine. Night fell. Morley’s waitstaff fired the floating wicks of globular little oil lamps at each place at table. They poured wine, TunFaire Gold, the best rotted grape juice in the world. The bad guys settled themselves and sucked it down. They got happier by the minute. The majority seemed amazed to find themselves having a good time. But whenever somebody cracked a dirty punch line the astonishment went away for a minute.
I was surprised by the number of guests. Not only the underbosses and their lieutenants had shown, but so had Squint Vrolet, Spider Webb, and dozens of
He had the territory from his cousin Green Bean Ractic. Green Bean killed two birds with one rockhead. He found a relative a job and he put the patch in the hands of a guy who didn’t have imagination enough to skim.
Squint Vrolet didn’t even have imagination enough to take advantage of the fact that he was a known gangster.
“I talk to myself, Squint. Because I know somebody who cares is listening.”
Squint squinted. It was his signature move. “That’s right. You don’t got that frickin’ parrot no more? Them elves done conned you out of him.”
“Somebody ran a con on somebody, Squint. So what’s your take on tonight? Is it true, Chodo’s gonna retire and leave everything to his kid?”
Squint gawked. “I never heard that. Hey! Great to see you, G. But I got to go see a man about a dog.” He headed straight for his cousin Green Bean instead of the garderobes, though.
Melondie Kadare told me, “That was mean, Garrett.”
“When he comes to double-check if he heard right, I’ll twist it around.”
“Why torment him?”
“I’m not. I’m messing with Green Bean. He’ll be sure Squint heard something important but got it twisted between his ears and his mouth.”
“That’s still cruel.”
“Don’t you do that to me?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure. I can think of more amusing ways to mess with you. One of your sweeties drops by. Say, Tinnie Tate. I slide in and whisper some other honey’s name in the redhead’s ear at just the right time …”
“That don’t sound like fun.”
“Not for you. I’d laugh till I puked and my wings fell off. Tinnie’s too good for you, anyway … Whoa! Peace! Just teasing. You’d better mingle. So that something unexpected doesn’t happen.”
“You might think about getting in the psychic racket.”
Belinda turned. She’d changed clothes again, to something more businesslike. “I sent that woman to the Bledsoe. Under my name. Would you check on her tomorrow? Make sure they’re really treating her?”
“Sure.” So she expected me to have a tomorrow. Good to know.
“What do you think happened?” she asked. “I don’t. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“You think there’s something strange going on?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“Garrett, don’t do that. I’m not in the mood. I feel this getting out of hand before it even starts.”
“All right, yes. There’s something strange going on. I just figured you were behind it.”
“There’re rats everywhere. There weren’t any when I looked at the place. And there’s your kittens. Cute and friendly buggers, but still cats. You shouldn’t have brought them. And, I swear, I even saw pixies from the corner of my eye. Only they weren’t there when I looked.”
That was the essence of pixie. Delivering more annoyance than a gaggle of mosquitoes. “Watch my back, Garrett.”
“I always do.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a lovely back.”
“You’re full of shit. But I like it. I think.”
Moments later, Melondie Kadare sneered, “It’s such a lovely back? Could you be any more lame?”
“I wasn’t at my best. I was distracted. I had a big-ass bug buzzing in my ear. And a lovely back to contemplate.”
Miss Kadare bit me on the aforementioned ear. “You’re lucky I’m not your size.”
15
The celebration got started. It rolled along just fine. Night fell. Morley’s waitstaff fired the floating wicks of globular little oil lamps at each place at table. They poured wine, TunFaire Gold, the best rotted grape juice in the world. The bad guys settled themselves and sucked it down. They got happier by the minute. The majority seemed amazed to find themselves having a good time. But whenever somebody cracked a dirty punch line the astonishment went away for a minute.
I was surprised by the number of guests. Not only the underbosses and their lieutenants had shown, but so had Squint Vrolet, Spider Webb, and dozens of
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