Read Online Where We Fell by Amber L. Johnson - Free Book Online Page B

Her hand flies to her chest and she makes this
surprised gasping sound that causes my dad to reappear quickly. Always on
alert. I’m just glad he didn’t pull his gun or anything.
    “Sorry. I was wondering if you had a second?”
    She gazes over my shoulder towards my dad, her
expression one of even deeper shock. Maybe it’s been a while since I’ve asked
for a heart to heart. I can practically see her chest tighten up right in front
of me. Like I’ve just asked the most wonderful question in the entire world.
She’ll be so disappointed in me after I’m done talking that I’m almost tempted
to tell her never mind. But I need her.
    I need my mom.
    She slips quietly into my room and I’m almost
embarrassed to start the conversation. My dad closes the door behind her with a
soft click and I take a deep breath, pressing my fingertips into the thick
denim seam of my jeans against my left calf. She’s worrying her hands again,
and I smile a little at the fact that, even though I’m adopted, I somehow took
on some of her most obvious mannerisms.
    Without stalling further, I take a deep breath and
fix my eyes on my computer screen that’s sitting atop my desk. The screen is
pitch black – reflecting my sorry face back at me.
    “Mom, I screwed up.”
    Her spine stiffens as she closes her eyes and
inhales slowly. “Is Hannah pregnant?”
    I laugh so loudly that she jumps, her eyes flying open
at the sound.
    “ Mom ! When would we have even had the
opportunity? I mean . . . oh my God.” Rubbing my neck with
shaking palms, I can finally breathe. Relief surges through me at an
accelerated rate and I relax onto one elbow to look at the confusion on her
face. “No. This isn’t a sex talk. I don’t think.” The smile on my face slips a
little as I state the truth. “I went to see her and when I got there she was
dressed up for Halloween and there was a guy with her—”
    “No.” My mom’s reaction is cute, actually. She’s
frowning like a cartoon tiger.
    “I thought it was a guy. It turns out it was
just her roommate, Coco, dressed like a guy. But you should see this girl, Mom.
She’s a swimmer, I guess? And she’s got these shoulders.” I sit up and show her
the width between my palms. “I knew it was a guy. I could have sworn she
was cheating on me. And it just,” I stop, feeling my heart speed up at the
memory. “It wrecked me. I had all of these thoughts, like why did I survive
cancer just so that I could feel like I was dying anyway?”
    My mom’s lips are pressed in a very thin line as she
thinks about what she’s going to say. With a quick movement of her hand, she
gathers a lock of hair in her fingers and tucks it gracefully behind her ear.
“You know, when we adopted you, you were this tiny little thing. We didn’t even
have all of your family medical history. Which is why it was so hard when you
got the diagnosis.”
    “I know.”
    She swallows quickly, nodding. “We didn’t know your
birth mother. And she didn’t know who your father was. So, you know, we’ve
always raised you as ours. And while I’m not sure your birth father was an
idiot . . .”
    “Hey,” I interject, but she rolls her eyes and holds
up a hand to stop me.
    “I can tell you that your dad was a bit of a jerk
around your age.”
    “No.”
    “I know. Shocking, but true.” Her smile is
infectious. “Here’s a story for you. I was in honors choir way back when. And
one day, after your dad and I had been dating for a good while, he snuck out of
his math class early to walk me to French. I had no idea he’d done that, and it
was towards the end of the year, when all of the concerts were over and there
was really nothing left to do but hang out with friends and whatever.” She has
a far-off look in her eyes, and I settle onto my bed, trying to imagine the
entire thing.
    “Anyway, that day I was talking with one of our
mutual friends, Chris. He was going on about this girl he had a thing for, and
I knew she was