Read Online When She Was Bad by Tammy Cohen - Free Book Online Page B

children and when that happens they have to go away for a while – and she seems to accept that without question. It’s kinda scary.’ Jana paused and bit down softly on her bottom lip.
    ‘Scary?’ Ed repeated.
    ‘Well, Lisa and Barney are my whole world. If I was separated from them it’d be like my life was finished. It’s hard to believe that they could be separated from me and for them it would be like I was just this person who came into their mind when they saw a particular colour of shoe.’
    After Jana had left with the two children, hyped-up and fractious after their soda, Ed Kowalsky and I played back the recording of the session and made notes in silence. Eventually Ed sat back in his chair and clicked the end of his pen thoughtfully a few times before speaking.
    ‘I’m encouraged by how Laurie seems able to compartmentalize her experiences,’ he said. Click, click, click. ‘That suggests she might be capable in future of separating off those parts of her psyche where the damage lies.’
    I nodded, but more because I was programmed to nod when someone senior was talking than because I actually agreed with him.
    ‘But don’t you think, Profess— Ed . . . that there’s also a danger that she might be suppressing her thoughts, rather than dissociating from them? And could that kind of extreme suppression lead to psychological problems further on down the track?’
    He leaned back and crossed one leg on top of the other, ankle to knee, in an oddly suggestive way.
    ‘I understand where you’re coming from with that, but as you know, the optimal outcome for Laurie would be if she was able to separate off the things that have happened to her and keep them separate until it’s as if they happened to someone else.’
    ‘But those behavioural patterns Jana mentioned – the aberrant reaction to punishment situations?’
    ‘I don’t think I’d call those a pattern, Anne.’ Click, click. ‘Jana stressed they were unrepresentative incidents. It might be that something was said – just a word, or a look even – that triggered a learned response. But the probability is, those triggers will fade now that she’s been removed from the source of them. I’m by no means complacent, but I am cautiously optimistic.’
    I think it was then I felt the first prickling of unease. True, my name would be on this report alongside Ed’s – but what if the conclusions were his alone?

13
Chloe
     
    Chloe had never had someone dislike her before. At school she’d been one of those girls teachers appoint to show the new kids around. She captained the school netball team and when they won the county trophy she was careful to stress it was not her victory but totally down to the other players. Boys both liked and fancied her, even if secretly they sometimes wished she’d let rip a bit more. And girls were generally happy to be her friend.
    As a result things had tended to fall into her lap. Three decent but not brilliant A levels from a leading North London state school (‘I came through the state system,’ she’d say modestly, choosing not to add that her parents paid over a million pounds for a house in the school’s tiny catchment area) led to an English Literature degree from Bristol University – missing out on an upper second by only the narrowest of margins, she’d inform people, shrugging her narrow shoulders in a what-can-you-do gesture. She hadn’t intended to go into recruitment but her mum knew someone who’d got her an internship and then Gill had offered her a junior role. Really she wanted to go into TV production but there was plenty of time. She was still very young, as she pointed out to her older colleagues with some regularity. The other reason she stayed in the department was Ewan.
    Chloe had had boyfriends before. From year ten to year thirteen she’d gone out with Alex Macdonald, ending the relationship by phone once she was safely ensconced in Bristol and receiving the attentions of a