Read Online Whatever...Love Is Love by Maria Bello - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Maria Bello
Ads: Link
change as your child changes.
During a trip to Hawaii last year, Jack taught me a lesson. He was about to turn 13, so I wanted to do something special with him. I surprised him on New Yearâs Day.
Clare told him that the exterminators were coming in the morning and he had to get up at 7 A.M. so we could leave the house. We were going to have breakfast. When he walked outside, all sleepy eyed, he saw that Clare was still in her pjâs but I was not. He was a bit confused and asked, âWhere are we going for breakfast?â And then I said, âHow about Hualalai?â His eyes popped open when we walked outside of the gate and there was a town car waiting with his luggage in it, all packed and ready to go.
Hualalai is a resort on the Big Island of Hawaii that we had gone to many times when he was younger and holds a special place in our memories. One of the first times I was there, I was pregnant with him and swam with dolphins in the open ocean. I have a photo of a mommy and baby dolphin swimming underneath my swollen belly from that day. And after a few days, I decided that Jack and I needed to find the dolphins again. So on the last day, on rough waters off the coast under a stormy sky, we took a boat out to look. After three hours, the captain said, âThis never happens. We always see dolphins.â I saw Jackâs face drop. He had been so excited, and I felt like a failure that I had built his expectations so high.
As the boat was about to turn around, Jackâs hand shot up and pointed toward a cove. âThere they are!â And indeed they were. A whole âbreedingâ pack of moms and babies. We pulled into the crystal clear water and Jack was the first one to the back of the boat in his flippers and mask, ready to jump off. But when the gate was open, he looked back at me a bit afraid to jump in. I was right behind him, âCome on, Buddy, we can do it,â I said. And we jumped in together, holding hands for a few minutes as we swam out. When we got our bearings we put our faces under the water and saw the most magical sight. There were 20 or more dolphins swimming not only underneath us but also beside us, so close that we could reach out and touch them. He jumped at first and held my hand tighter. But as he got more comfortable, he let go and started drifting farther and farther away. I would stick my head up every now and again and yell for him, always the concerned mom. And he would pop up with a smile and give me the thumbs-up. He soon started swimming with one of the dive instructors, a girl of about 17 with shiny blond hair and a beautiful spirit. I caught up to him to ask if he was okay, and with our masks under the water he gestured again with a thumbs-up, as if to say, âYeah, Mom, donât worry, Iâm fine.â And he looked in the distance to the beautiful girl and started to swim away. I watched as he disappeared into the horizon.
My heart broke in that second, but I knew the rightness of it all. He did not belong to me anymore. He was his own being, swimming in the world, and having to make choices at every corner about where to swim and with whom. His father and I could guide him, but he was old enough to make his own decisions. I had to let him go. Of course I cried. Iâm supposed to. Iâm his mom.
He was in the midst of a transition now.
We donât always see our children as separate human beings. Jack and I are figuring out what it means to hold on and to let go. He probably knows much more about this than I will ever know. The fact that he has the confidence and the desire to strike out, on his own, means that Iâve done something right. I am a good enough mom for my son, and always will be.
7
AM I A HUMANITARIAN?
Deye mon gen mon , or
There are mountains beyond mountains.
A re you a person who lives to promote human welfare selflessly?
I had a mistress once. For years I thought of her every minute of every day. I would wake
During a trip to Hawaii last year, Jack taught me a lesson. He was about to turn 13, so I wanted to do something special with him. I surprised him on New Yearâs Day.
Clare told him that the exterminators were coming in the morning and he had to get up at 7 A.M. so we could leave the house. We were going to have breakfast. When he walked outside, all sleepy eyed, he saw that Clare was still in her pjâs but I was not. He was a bit confused and asked, âWhere are we going for breakfast?â And then I said, âHow about Hualalai?â His eyes popped open when we walked outside of the gate and there was a town car waiting with his luggage in it, all packed and ready to go.
Hualalai is a resort on the Big Island of Hawaii that we had gone to many times when he was younger and holds a special place in our memories. One of the first times I was there, I was pregnant with him and swam with dolphins in the open ocean. I have a photo of a mommy and baby dolphin swimming underneath my swollen belly from that day. And after a few days, I decided that Jack and I needed to find the dolphins again. So on the last day, on rough waters off the coast under a stormy sky, we took a boat out to look. After three hours, the captain said, âThis never happens. We always see dolphins.â I saw Jackâs face drop. He had been so excited, and I felt like a failure that I had built his expectations so high.
As the boat was about to turn around, Jackâs hand shot up and pointed toward a cove. âThere they are!â And indeed they were. A whole âbreedingâ pack of moms and babies. We pulled into the crystal clear water and Jack was the first one to the back of the boat in his flippers and mask, ready to jump off. But when the gate was open, he looked back at me a bit afraid to jump in. I was right behind him, âCome on, Buddy, we can do it,â I said. And we jumped in together, holding hands for a few minutes as we swam out. When we got our bearings we put our faces under the water and saw the most magical sight. There were 20 or more dolphins swimming not only underneath us but also beside us, so close that we could reach out and touch them. He jumped at first and held my hand tighter. But as he got more comfortable, he let go and started drifting farther and farther away. I would stick my head up every now and again and yell for him, always the concerned mom. And he would pop up with a smile and give me the thumbs-up. He soon started swimming with one of the dive instructors, a girl of about 17 with shiny blond hair and a beautiful spirit. I caught up to him to ask if he was okay, and with our masks under the water he gestured again with a thumbs-up, as if to say, âYeah, Mom, donât worry, Iâm fine.â And he looked in the distance to the beautiful girl and started to swim away. I watched as he disappeared into the horizon.
My heart broke in that second, but I knew the rightness of it all. He did not belong to me anymore. He was his own being, swimming in the world, and having to make choices at every corner about where to swim and with whom. His father and I could guide him, but he was old enough to make his own decisions. I had to let him go. Of course I cried. Iâm supposed to. Iâm his mom.
He was in the midst of a transition now.
We donât always see our children as separate human beings. Jack and I are figuring out what it means to hold on and to let go. He probably knows much more about this than I will ever know. The fact that he has the confidence and the desire to strike out, on his own, means that Iâve done something right. I am a good enough mom for my son, and always will be.
7
AM I A HUMANITARIAN?
Deye mon gen mon , or
There are mountains beyond mountains.
A re you a person who lives to promote human welfare selflessly?
I had a mistress once. For years I thought of her every minute of every day. I would wake
Similar Books
