Read Online What Remains by Sandra Miller - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Sandra Miller
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wasn’t normal to be her age and develop a school girl crush. Besides, her last crush ended in teenage pregnancy, a fifty pound weight gain, and twenty years of pure unadulterated hell—referring to both marriage and stretch marks. The odds simply weren’t in her favor when it came to romance.
Chapter Six
Later that week, while working on chores, completely lost in thoughts of self-deprecation, with only one day left before she would be forced to keep her promise to Gregory and call him, Tessa moved about the mansion going from room to room on the first floor, vacuuming and dusting her way into an eventual resignation. The physical activity—or perhaps the chemicals in the furniture polish—had finally prompted her into seeing things with a little more clarity and self-forgiveness. Surely being attracted to a man had to at least be semi-normal? Why wouldn’t it be? Gregory Hayes was beautiful in a very masculine, yet artistically sensitive—young Kris Kristofferson kind of way.
Look at the majority of men on the planet who were forty or older, weren’t they constantly ogling women half their age? Why should women be held at a higher standard of morality? And it wasn’t as if she was harboring any unrealistic illusions that Gregory felt the same for her. But he did enjoy her company, it was evident even to her, with an ego that was almost non-existent at this point.
Besides, her attraction to him could easily be held in check, after all, she had the self-restraint of a Tibetan monk when it came to her libido. But an opportunity to actually have a friend to talk to, who shared so much in common with her, was an opportunity she wasn’t willing to let slip by. Being single in a new place far from any family was a lonely existence, and she welcomed the idea of having someone willing to fill that void. So what if it that someone just happened to be a handsome young man.
All of her life, Tessa had had adult responsibilities placed on her, from helping her family scratch out an existence from a rocky mountain homestead, to raising her own children when she was nothing more than a child herself. Hadn’t she always been dutiful and hardworking? Shouldn’t she at some point in life be allowed to be playful, care free, and just a little reckless? After considering the question for some time, Tessa decided to just let the answer evolve over time. Chances were she was reading way too much into Gregory’s friendliness. Just because he was kind to her, didn’t mean he was interested in having any sort of relationship develop between them, friendship or otherwise.
How she regretted the fact that she had been shown such little tenderness over the past twenty years that she found herself craving it like an addict, perhaps to the point where she was willing to make a complete fool out of herself to find it. The events of the past week, and the way they left her emotionally torn had her questioning whether she would ever heal from two decades of abuse.
Somehow, Tessa needed to find a way back to normalcy again but was growing increasingly impatient; the healing process was taking far too long and interfering with any hopes of happiness in the future.
When the Westminster chime of the doorbell rang throughout the house, Tessa was more than ready for the interruption. The retrievers, who lied peacefully at the entrance of the dining room jumped into high alert and bounded for the foyer, looking back as if to ask her what was taking her so long. Tessa laughed aloud and encouraged them to lead the way.
The chime rang out twice more before the three of them reached the foyer. Tessa swung open the door and found herself face to face with an attractive young woman looking quite chic in her skinny jeans and stilettos. If she wasn’t a professional model, she should’ve been; her face was near
Chapter Six
Later that week, while working on chores, completely lost in thoughts of self-deprecation, with only one day left before she would be forced to keep her promise to Gregory and call him, Tessa moved about the mansion going from room to room on the first floor, vacuuming and dusting her way into an eventual resignation. The physical activity—or perhaps the chemicals in the furniture polish—had finally prompted her into seeing things with a little more clarity and self-forgiveness. Surely being attracted to a man had to at least be semi-normal? Why wouldn’t it be? Gregory Hayes was beautiful in a very masculine, yet artistically sensitive—young Kris Kristofferson kind of way.
Look at the majority of men on the planet who were forty or older, weren’t they constantly ogling women half their age? Why should women be held at a higher standard of morality? And it wasn’t as if she was harboring any unrealistic illusions that Gregory felt the same for her. But he did enjoy her company, it was evident even to her, with an ego that was almost non-existent at this point.
Besides, her attraction to him could easily be held in check, after all, she had the self-restraint of a Tibetan monk when it came to her libido. But an opportunity to actually have a friend to talk to, who shared so much in common with her, was an opportunity she wasn’t willing to let slip by. Being single in a new place far from any family was a lonely existence, and she welcomed the idea of having someone willing to fill that void. So what if it that someone just happened to be a handsome young man.
All of her life, Tessa had had adult responsibilities placed on her, from helping her family scratch out an existence from a rocky mountain homestead, to raising her own children when she was nothing more than a child herself. Hadn’t she always been dutiful and hardworking? Shouldn’t she at some point in life be allowed to be playful, care free, and just a little reckless? After considering the question for some time, Tessa decided to just let the answer evolve over time. Chances were she was reading way too much into Gregory’s friendliness. Just because he was kind to her, didn’t mean he was interested in having any sort of relationship develop between them, friendship or otherwise.
How she regretted the fact that she had been shown such little tenderness over the past twenty years that she found herself craving it like an addict, perhaps to the point where she was willing to make a complete fool out of herself to find it. The events of the past week, and the way they left her emotionally torn had her questioning whether she would ever heal from two decades of abuse.
Somehow, Tessa needed to find a way back to normalcy again but was growing increasingly impatient; the healing process was taking far too long and interfering with any hopes of happiness in the future.
When the Westminster chime of the doorbell rang throughout the house, Tessa was more than ready for the interruption. The retrievers, who lied peacefully at the entrance of the dining room jumped into high alert and bounded for the foyer, looking back as if to ask her what was taking her so long. Tessa laughed aloud and encouraged them to lead the way.
The chime rang out twice more before the three of them reached the foyer. Tessa swung open the door and found herself face to face with an attractive young woman looking quite chic in her skinny jeans and stilettos. If she wasn’t a professional model, she should’ve been; her face was near
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