Read Online What Have I Done? by Amanda Prowse - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Amanda Prowse
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listened to my sister! But I thought that I knew different, I was giddy, blinded and thought that I knew best.
What would hindsight say? It would say, ‘
You definitely did not know best, Kathryn, you could not have known best, you were too busy fighting a tide of raging hormones and infatuation.
’
Kathryn closed her eyes tightly to try and erase the memory of the last telephone call she had had from her sister. Three weekslater, it still weighed heavily on her mind and she wondered if she would ever be able to repair the damage.
‘Kathryn.’ Mark’s voice had summoned her.
She had been peeling the potatoes for supper, but instinctively she rose from the chair at the sound of his voice, a soldier trained to stand to attention upon the arrival of a superior. After all these years it was now automatic.
‘It’s your sister on the telephone.’
He flashed a short flickered smile that appeared and disappeared in a matter of seconds. It told her that he was not happy to have Francesca on the end of the telephone at all and was even more irritated to have had his ‘study time’ interrupted by having to answer the call and come and inform her.
She nodded and walked over to the wall-mounted phone above the dishwasher.
‘Hello?’
She waited for the click of the receiver being replaced into its cradle in the study, but it never came. Mark was listening and would continue listening to their entire conversation, as was customary. It had been two months since the sisters had been in touch and now with her husband’s monitoring, Kathryn knew that the conversation would again be stilted and uncomfortable as she would have to censor all that she said. She knew her sister would pick up on this and think that she was being aloof. Kathryn once again felt trapped and more than a little tearful.
Francesca had accused her of being a bit ‘off’ in the past, which had rendered Kathryn dumb, unable to explain that there was so much that she wanted to say, but couldn’t, for many reasons. The first being that their conversation was never private; Mark would be listening and, more importantly, judging.
‘Oh, Kate, I had to call you—’ Her sister’s voice immediately broke away in a sob.
‘It’s okay, it’s okay. Oh goodness, Francesca, don’t cry! What on earth is the matter?’
Kathryn could hear rain against a window and the whoosh of water as tyres sped along wet tarmac. She pictured Francesca sitting in her car with her cardigan around her shoulders to ward off the North Yorkshire chill.
She waited while Francesca blew her nose loudly.
‘Oh Kate, something terrible has happened!’
‘What’s happened? Is Luke all right?’ Kathryn’s first thoughts were always of her own children; the worst thing that could happen would be something affecting them, and so naturally she thought immediately of her sister’s child.
Kathryn recognised in her sister the slight guilt of a mother who had pushed her son to achieve; it was always with a dose of pressure that he would be encouraged to study for exams and cram for extra credits. The fees that they paid quarterly for his education were hard to come by and his time at school was for them in lieu of foreign holidays, new carpets, even trips to the hairdresser.
Kathryn admired the sacrifice but knew that Francesca wanted something in return: good grades, a place at a top university or at the very least a voice that was crystal clear with rounded vowels, and the correct pressure of handshake in the right circles. Luke didn’t disappoint, he was diligent and industrious, a lovely boy.
It would be unfair to describe Francesca as jealous, but Kathryn knew she was conscious of her own position as wife of the head teacher at one of the country’s top public schools. It was important for her sister to feel every bit her equal when they chatted about school life in general at any gathering,knowing that her Luke was just as good as his cousins.
Kathryn laughed at the idea
What would hindsight say? It would say, ‘
You definitely did not know best, Kathryn, you could not have known best, you were too busy fighting a tide of raging hormones and infatuation.
’
Kathryn closed her eyes tightly to try and erase the memory of the last telephone call she had had from her sister. Three weekslater, it still weighed heavily on her mind and she wondered if she would ever be able to repair the damage.
‘Kathryn.’ Mark’s voice had summoned her.
She had been peeling the potatoes for supper, but instinctively she rose from the chair at the sound of his voice, a soldier trained to stand to attention upon the arrival of a superior. After all these years it was now automatic.
‘It’s your sister on the telephone.’
He flashed a short flickered smile that appeared and disappeared in a matter of seconds. It told her that he was not happy to have Francesca on the end of the telephone at all and was even more irritated to have had his ‘study time’ interrupted by having to answer the call and come and inform her.
She nodded and walked over to the wall-mounted phone above the dishwasher.
‘Hello?’
She waited for the click of the receiver being replaced into its cradle in the study, but it never came. Mark was listening and would continue listening to their entire conversation, as was customary. It had been two months since the sisters had been in touch and now with her husband’s monitoring, Kathryn knew that the conversation would again be stilted and uncomfortable as she would have to censor all that she said. She knew her sister would pick up on this and think that she was being aloof. Kathryn once again felt trapped and more than a little tearful.
Francesca had accused her of being a bit ‘off’ in the past, which had rendered Kathryn dumb, unable to explain that there was so much that she wanted to say, but couldn’t, for many reasons. The first being that their conversation was never private; Mark would be listening and, more importantly, judging.
‘Oh, Kate, I had to call you—’ Her sister’s voice immediately broke away in a sob.
‘It’s okay, it’s okay. Oh goodness, Francesca, don’t cry! What on earth is the matter?’
Kathryn could hear rain against a window and the whoosh of water as tyres sped along wet tarmac. She pictured Francesca sitting in her car with her cardigan around her shoulders to ward off the North Yorkshire chill.
She waited while Francesca blew her nose loudly.
‘Oh Kate, something terrible has happened!’
‘What’s happened? Is Luke all right?’ Kathryn’s first thoughts were always of her own children; the worst thing that could happen would be something affecting them, and so naturally she thought immediately of her sister’s child.
Kathryn recognised in her sister the slight guilt of a mother who had pushed her son to achieve; it was always with a dose of pressure that he would be encouraged to study for exams and cram for extra credits. The fees that they paid quarterly for his education were hard to come by and his time at school was for them in lieu of foreign holidays, new carpets, even trips to the hairdresser.
Kathryn admired the sacrifice but knew that Francesca wanted something in return: good grades, a place at a top university or at the very least a voice that was crystal clear with rounded vowels, and the correct pressure of handshake in the right circles. Luke didn’t disappoint, he was diligent and industrious, a lovely boy.
It would be unfair to describe Francesca as jealous, but Kathryn knew she was conscious of her own position as wife of the head teacher at one of the country’s top public schools. It was important for her sister to feel every bit her equal when they chatted about school life in general at any gathering,knowing that her Luke was just as good as his cousins.
Kathryn laughed at the idea
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